PORTALS Album Lyrics by Melanie Martinez

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DEATH

(Death is life is death is life is death is life is)

They're carving my name in the grave, again
The flowers are fresh and their faces wet
My body has died but I'm still alive
Look over your shoulder, I'm back from the dead
Lightin' my candles to draw me in
Seeing all the same things, I'm gone this time
Your words mean nothing, so take 'em back
And meet me here across the plain
The other side of my foreign land

You aren't around, I sink into the ground
I try to pretend I'm closer to you
Never understand it, you're always on my mind
I cannot help it
I don't wanna be carrying the weight on my shoulders
Death has come to me, kissed me on my cheek, gave me closure
Immortal by design, I'll be meeting you here every time

Back from the dead, back from the dead
I'm back from the dead, back from the dead
I'm back from the dead, back from the dead
I'm back from the dead, back from the dead
I'm back from the dead (death), back from the dead (death)
I'm back from the dead (death), back from the dead (death)
I'm back from the dead (death), back from the dead (death)
I'm back from the dead (death), back from the (I'm back)

(Death, death, death)
(Death, death)
(I'm back)

They're saying my name in their prayers again
I flicker the lights so they understand
I won't say goodbye, I'm right by your side
We're screaming and pleading, this separation ends
Doing all your witchcraft to pull me in
Burning all your sage to connect our line
I show my presence, you run away in fear of ghosts
I try to talk, the barriers are too strong

When you aren't around, I sink into the ground
I try to pretend I'm closer to you
Never understand it, you're always on my mind
I cannot help it
I don't wanna be carrying the weight on my shoulders
Death has come to me, kissed me on my cheek, gave me closure
Immortal by design, I'll be meeting you here every time

Back from the dead, back from the dead
I'm back from the dead, back from the dead
I'm back from the dead, back from the dead
I'm back from the dead, back from the dead
I'm back from the dead (death), back from the dead (death)
I'm back from the dead (death), back from the dead
I'm back from the dead (death), back from the dead (death)
I'm back from the dead (death), back from the dead

Please, don't ever worry
I know it's morbid, but we all die one day

I'm back from the dead, back from the dead
I'm back from the dead, back from the dead
I'm back from the dead, back from the dead
I'm back from the dead, back from the (I'm back)

---

VOID

In the void, in the void
In the void, in the void

Baby, I'm spinning 'round the corner
It's tasting kind of lonely and my mind wants to control me
Ah-ah-ah-empty, there's rotten things left in me
Injected by society, no one here but me to judge me

Pipe down with the noise, I cannot bear my sorrow
I hate who I was before
I fear I won't live to see the day tomorrow
Someone tell me if this is Hell

I got to escape that void
There is no other choice, yeah
Tryna turn down the voices
The void ate me
Look at the mess I've done
There is nowhere to run, yeah
Holding a loading gun, the void

Like a priest behind confession walls, I judge myself
Kneeling on a metal grater
Bloody like a body that has died and it's myself
Tangled in my own intestines
I got to escape the void
There is no other choice, yeah
Got to escape the void

So strange, I'm trying to find a doorway
My eyes are staring at me, and they seem so damn unhappy
C-c-c-c-collect my fickle insecurities, and turn them into beauty
Alchemize the dark within me-ee

Pipe down with the noise, I cannot bear my sorrow
I hate who I was before
I fear I won't live to see the day tomorrow
Someone tell me if this is Hell

I got to escape that void
There is no other choice, yeah
Tryna turn down the voices
The void ate me
Look at the mess I've done
There is nowhere to run, yeah
Holding a loading gun, the void

Like a priest behind confession walls, I judge myself
Kneeling on a metal grater
Bloody like a body that has died and it's myself
Tangled in my own intestines

I got to escape that void
There is no other choice, yeah
Tryna turn down the voices
The void ate me
Look at the mess I've done
There is nowhere to run, yeah
Holding a loading gun, the void

---

TUNNEL VISION

Follow the tunnel into the portal
Lay all your burdens to rest
Drink from the fountain, death's holy water
Watch as you're put to the test

I make them panic, it's satanic
How I bend my body
Yeah, you can look, but you can't touch
I'm not just anybody
Caught in a haze and hypnotized
And you're too thirsty
Open your view and you will find, stop searching

Eyes on the prize, thought the cherry would be
Better than the pie, you like that, like that, that, like that
That's your demise, yeah
You hold me like you're rushing to my thighs
Too fast, too fast, fast, too fast

But your focus is empty
Tunnel vision, then dead me
Honeysuckle and fresh meat
But I'm more than that, more than that
Playing house to distract me
But you're no good at acting
Obvious what you're after
And I'm more than that, more than that
And I'm more than that, more than that

They always hustle for the pussy
So they'll never get it
I make them tumble down the hill
They climbed, I don't regret it
I saw that trick fall out your sleeve
And I'm so certain
You hum a tune I don't believe
And it ain't workin'

Eyes on the prize, thought the cherry would be
Better than the pie, you like that, like that, that, like that
That's your demise, yeah
You hold me like you're rushing to my thighs
Too fast, too fast, fast, too fast

But your focus is empty
Tunnel vision, then dead me
Honeysuckle and fresh meat
But I'm more than that, more than that
Playing house to distract me
But you're no good at acting
Obvious what you're after
And I'm more than that, more than that
And I'm more than that, more than that

Crossing my heart, I'd rather die (oh-oh-oh-oh)
Than be the needle in your eye (oh-oh-oh-oh)
Show me how far obsession goes (oh-oh-oh-oh)
Could've been more, now we'll never know

---

Faerie Soiree

Blue stars running down my forehead
Cold wings flutter when they're moving
Mushrooms everywhere I'm turning
Laced with love, intensive grooving
They said, they said

I know how to make you go crazy every day
Ooh-ah, ooh-ah (Ah)
Tease your mind and trick you, you really wanna stay?

Ooh-ah, ooh-ah (Ah)
I know a way to make you lose your pace
Your trace, your trace

If you wanna run with the magic
Lose sight of the gravity of weight
Lips of sugar, I'm breathing pheromones again
Ooh-ah, ooh-ah (Ah)

Hands are tied
and Miranda Rights don't mean nothing
Led me astray to the faeriе soirée

Alone, alone
And now I wanna run with thе magic
Lose sight of the gravity of home

Blue stars running down my forehead
Cold wings flutter when they're moving
Mushrooms everywhere I'm turning

Laced with love, intensive grooving
They said, they said
They said
Go crazy every day

---

LIGHT SHOWER

You are the light, I've been searchin' for forever
Feels like, man, I've really never felt the rain
Buried in the desert, didn't think I'd push through the dirt
You just cleansed me like a waterfall, you came

I'm screamin' like a kettle on a stove
You cranked the heat up, I was cold
My past grew mold around my heart
And all my anger, sadness, regret, disappeared, it's madness
I'm not used to all this water love, it's true
But you made me want to
Plan out my last days on earth, eating you
Ooh-ooh-ooh
The tips of your teeth fit perfect in me
You're a shower of light I'd devour any day of the week
Baby, cleanse me

I was surprised to see heaven in your eyes
I never once was treated right, you're what I'm missing in my life
As bright as the sun, give me your vitamin D
Let's run into another dimension, you make me feel like I'm on drugs

I'm screamin' like a kettle on a stove
You crank the heat up, I was cold
My past grew mold around my heart
And all my anger, sadness, regret disappeared
It's madness, I'm not used to all this water love, it's true
But you made me want to
Plan out my last days on earth, eating you
Ooh-ooh-ooh
The tips of your teeth fit perfect in me
You're a shower of light I'd devour any day of the week
Baby, cleanse me

But you made me want to
Plan out my last days on earth, eating you
Ooh-ooh-ooh
The tips of your teeth fit perfect in me
You're a shower of light I devour any day of the week
Baby, cleanse me

---

Spider Web

I move like a moth or a butterfly
Craving a change in the wind
I swirl by all the insects and all the flies
Watching the cycle they're in

Better off dead than wastin' my hours
Flying where I shouldn't be
Flexing like pricks with their stolen power
They're just who the spider will eat

Spinning all your silk and moving all of your eight legs
To build a web that'll spread through the world
Feeding off our highs and lows
And curious to see us struggle
No one can leave once they merge

Oh, no onе can leave once thеy merge
Oh, no one can leave once they merge

I'm hiding myself from the enemy
I wish to not be perceived
Didn't ask for this dangerous visibility
I'm feeling too scared to sleep

Better off dead than stuck in a maze
The center may seem like a gift
Once you arrive, it'll strip you of your life
And you'll wish that you never did

Spinning all your silk and moving all of your eight legs
To build a web that'll spread through the world
Feeding off our highs and lows
And curious to see us struggle
No one can leave once they merge

Oh, no one can leave once they merge
Oh, no one can leave once they merge

Big bite, they liquify the insides first
Then wrap them tight, securing their spot in the spider web
Up all night, bound to their addiction to it
Lifeless eyes, they die in the pit of the spider web

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LEECHES

Leeches surrounded, conscience is throbbing
They can't sleep at night, hold their pillows tight
Caught in the rivers of the tears that I cried
Bountiful harvest, they flock to my garden
Push their way inside, I go run and hide
They lift all the covers, pull me into their side

Slimy and superficial
Straightening their artificial yapping to seem official
Making it beneficial to their cause

How much blood can you draw with your claws
From a flesh that's not yours?
My hands aren't yours
And all of my bones or my whole life
To keep you enthralled
I guess that is the luck of the draw

Let all their friends in, the enemy's present
They don't think too hard 'bout your fragile heart
They eat off the table that you set so you starve
Stop all your breathing (huh)
No, don't let them see you
They find any way just to make you stay
Right where they want to in their piss-covered games

Slimy and superficial
Straightening their artificial yapping to seem official
Making it beneficial to their cause

How much blood can you draw with your claws
From a flesh that's not yours?
My hands aren't yours
And all of my bones or my whole life
To keep you enthralled
I guess that is the luck of the draw, ah-ah-ah-ah-ah

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BATTLE OF THE LARYNX

Falling asleep at the arcade
Liquory chumps of your tongue
You used all your words for a quick game
Blew it all before you won
I speak in cursive, I'm poignant, dessertive
There's musical chairs in my teeth
Poke me to battle, I'll jump on the saddle
I'll smile as you fall to your feet

And they talk without thinking
They bark while they're shaking
With teeth that are round and dull
And they yell while they're chasing
While I'm steady pacing
My syllables hit the floor

How stupid, selfish baby
Don't you battle with my larynx tonight
I'll wreck you if you chase me
But I'll be silent 'til you cross the line
The line, the line
Don't you battle with my larynx tonight
So crude and selfish baby
Don't you battle with my larynx tonight

Call all your guys in the dive bar
They'll give you the validation
Your daddy could never bestow you
While bloody, they'll tell you've won

And they talk without thinking
They bark while they're shaking
With teeth that are round and dull
And they yell while they're chasing
While I'm steady pacing
My syllables hit the floor

How stupid, selfish baby
Don't you battle with my larynx tonight
I'll wreck you if you chase me
But I'll be silent 'til you cross the line
The line, the line
Don't you battle with my larynx tonight
So crude and selfish baby
Don't you battle with my larynx tonight

And they talk without thinking
They bark while they're shaking
With teeth that are round and dull
And they yell while they're chasing
While I'm steady pacing
My syllables hit the floor

How stupid, selfish baby
Don't you battle with my larynx tonight
I'll wreck you if you chase me
But I'll be silent 'til you cross the line
The line, the line
Don't you battle with my larynx tonight
So crude and selfish baby
Don't you battle with my larynx tonight

---

THE CONTORTIONIST

Twisted all my limbs for you
Two of them in knots and two of them in loops
Ribbons tied around like a noose
Wonder if I'll ever get it loose
I don't wanna bruise for you
Holding back my words until my face is blue
I don't really care about your crew
You can tell them what you want to

(Bones are crushing, palms are crushing) Pushin' me
(Bodies touching, bodies touching) Lovin' me
(Heart is pumping, heart is pumping) Pullin' me
(Feelin' nothing, feelin' nothing) F*ckin' me
(Bones are crushing, palms are crushing) Crushin' me
(Bodies touching, bodies touching) Touchin' me
Uh-ah

I'm done, I'm done
Done doing backbends
I break and I snap, It's no fun, no fun
Pushed myself into a box, while you held out a gun
I'm done, ah-ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
I'm done, I'm done
Ah-ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha

Twisted all my bones like screws
Stretching my self worth, just like you usually do
Caught you like the cold or a flu (ah-choo)
Praying that I'll someday be immune
Got me like a bad tattoo
Always on your skin, even when it gets removed
Never got a chance to undo
Positions that you forced my way into

Bones are crushing, palms are crushing (pushin' me)
Bodies touching, bodies touching (lovin' me)
Heart is pumping, heart is pumping (pullin' me)
Feelin' nothing, feelin' nothing (f*ckin' me)
Bones are crushing, palms are crushing (crushin' me)
Bodies touching, bodies touching (touchin' me)
Uh-ah

I'm done, I'm done
Done doing backbends
I break and I snap, It's no fun, no fun
Pushed myself into a box, while you held out a gun
I'm done, ah-ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
I'm done, I'm done
Ah-ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha

(Bones are crushing, palms are crushing) Pushin' me
(Bodies touching, bodies touching) Lovin' me
(Heart is pumping, heart is pumping) Pullin' me
(Feelin' nothing, feelin' nothing) F*ckin' me
(Bones are crushing, palms are crushing) Crushin' me
(Bodies touching, bodies touching) Touchin' me
Uh-ah

---

MOON CYCLE

"Why you always act so serious?"
I said, "Baby boy, you know I'm on my period," yeah
He bit the cherry down, he's delirious
Seeing red figures in his mirrors and
Acting like a real tough, furious
Blood swimming, turn him amphibious
He says he doesn't care, that he's into this
It happens every time a new season hits

Getting ready for my heavy daily cream
I keep it handy, womb shedding
Any lessons, making room for blessings
Juice melting like raspberry, pomegranate
It's so scary how my aura got him howling at my moon cycle, baby

Now he kissing on the ground that I walk on
Tryna get another taste, but I'm all cramped up
Pain like a blade on the front lawn
But I don't give a f*ck 'cause I'm so strong
I don't gotta act, I'm a theorist
I could win a fight on my period
Matter of fact, right now, I could build a pyramid
You messing with my cycle, that is dangerous

Gettin' ready for my heavy daily cream
I keep it handy, womb shedding
Any lessons, making room for blessings
Juice melting like raspberry, pomegranate
It's so scary how my aura got him howling at my moon cycle, baby

Moon cycle, baby
Moon cycle, baby

---

NYMPHOLOGY

[Part 1: NYMPHOLOGY]

Call me your nymph
Praise me for martyr, praise me for sin
Call me your muse
A sprite or an elf you cry to then use

I will not suffer, ah-ah
Cry under covers, ah-ah
I'm not your mother, ah-ah
Ah-ah

It's nymphology, not psychology
Be the manic pixie dream girl that you fucking ought to be
Damaged oddity bought by Sotheby's
Auctioned to a selfish man who thinks that he's the prophecy

You can't even spell but you're an "expert" in nymphology
N-Y-M-P-H-O-L-O-G-Y, that's nymphology

I'm not fiction, I'm not fae
I won't lick your wounds today
But I'll throw you in the ring
Gift you with my suffering
I'm not crazy, I'm not wild
You're just stupid, little child
Get your image off my back
I'll give you a heart attack

I will not suffer, ah-ah
Cry under covers, ah-ah
I'm not your mother, ah-ah
Ah-ah

It's nymphology, not psychology
Be the manic pixie dream girl that you fuckin' ought to be
Damaged oddity bought by Sotheby's
Auctioned to a selfish man who thinks that he's the prophecy

You can't even spell but you're an "expert" in nymphology
N-Y-M-P-H-O-L-O-G-Y, that's nymphology

Don't treat me that way, yeah
You're actin' like a wannabe
I won't be ashamed, yeah
For lovin' you so honestly
You're in a spell and it worked
And I'm returnin' the hurt
I'm kicking your ass out
Flutter my wings while I pout
Push your penis into your mouth
I'll make you choke on your doubt
Cut you off, watch you die
Just a fairy with a knife

It's nymphology, not psychology
Be the manic pixie dream girl that you fucking ought to be
Damaged oddity bought by Sotheby's
Auctioned to a selfish man who thinks that he's the prophecy

Call me your nymph
You can't even spell but you're an "expert" in nymphology
Call me your muse
N-Y-M-P-H-O-L-O-G-Y, that's nymphology

[Part 2: AMULET]

Diamonds and rubies, the star in all the movies
Wears me out, big pockets
I am her favorite locket, keeps them droolin'
The semi-precious stones ain't as cold and they're curious
Where did I get refined, get my cuts, and my polishes?
I am too many karats for your budget, ask the jeweler
Your boyfriend tried me on, wore me out, made him cooler
Like Moldavite or Emeralds from Colombian Andes
It will be the brightest, the brightest green you've ever seen
Ancient and it's protective, an expensive rarity
So rare, it is offensive, I think you will agree

---

EVIL

Diamonds and rubies, the star in all the movies
Wears me out, big pockets
I am her favorite locket, keeps them drooling
Their semi-precious stones ain't as cold and luxurious
Where did I get refined, get my cuts and my polishes?
I am too many karats for your budget, ask the jeweler
Your boyfriend tried me on, wore me out, made him cooler
Like Moldavite or Emeralds from Colombian Andes
It will be the brightest, the brightest green you've ever seen
Ancient and it's protective, and expensive rarity
So rare it is offensive, I think you will agree

You called the other day, I stayed away
I left your shit on read, four times today
And it felt like bliss, used to miss your kiss
Now I'm hop-skip jumpin' over narcissists
Throwing all your stuff into the abyss
Now the role is reversed and told you I'ma switch
How you like my spit?
That's for all the pits, that you left me in
See, the horns on my head they're from goddesses
Goddesses, on god

No, I never knew what it meant
What it meant to be content with you
Everything I expressed, I professed
It never quite made it through
Said it's all in my head, all in my head
Whenever I spoke my truth
No, I won't defend you to all my friends
This time, I refuse

If you bite my hand again
I will never feed you, you can call me evil
Take it to the grave if you wanna play pretend
I won't be mistreated, please call me conceited
Took me way too long to put this to bed
Lovin' you was lethal, guess that makes me evil, evil

Evil, evil

Remember when you smiled right to my face?
As all my little tears of oxalate
They made a shape, revealed a snake
Now I'm stop-drop rollin' over all your jokes
Every time you tell a lie I'm prayin' that you choke
Should've listened to the signs and the horoscopes
Hope you never cope, hope you slip on soap
Crack your head like an egg, wanna see the yolk
You were such a hoax

No, I never knew what it meant
What it meant to be content with you
Everything I expressed, I professed
It never quite made it through
Said it's all in my head, all in my head
Whenever I spoke my truth
No, I won't defend you to all my friends
This time, I refuse

If you bite my hand again
I will never feed you, you can call me evil
Take it to the grave if you wanna play pretend
I won't be mistreated, please call me conceited
Took me way too long to put this to bed
Lovin' you was lethal, guess that makes me evil, evil

If you bite my hand again
I will never feed you, you can call me evil
Take it to the grave if you wanna play pretend
I won't be mistreated, please call me conceited
Took me way too long to put this to bed
Lovin' you was lethal, guess that makes me evil, evil

Evil, evil, evil, evil
Evil, evil, evil, evil

Lovin' you was lethal, guess that makes me evil

---

WOMB

Ah, ooh
Ah, ooh

I see the mother in the chosen space for me
Little does she know it's free, oh yeah
I'm undercover, as they wait for joy, I cry
On a mission in the dark, ooh, yeah, yeah
And I know my brother
He'll make the journey later on
Conversations in the cosmos, yeah, yeah
But it's all a game now
Once I'm in the world, it's lost
Memories gone to evolve, ooh, yeah, yeah

Legend, cells and flesh
I'm re-building all my insides, bright to see the future
Right before my eyes, I know
What's coming, what's coming

In the womb, let me out, not safe but I'm sound
Cut the cord, I'm comin'
Got the blue belly button, too hard to pull through with it
All I know she's birthin'
I'm feeling alive, the closer that I have to my life
I'm pushing out the center, the core
I'm sweating through the flower no more, no more

All of the planning
Yet I still feel unprepared
Kick and screamin', 'cause I'm scared, ooh, yeah, yeah
And I know she suffers
Contractions with howling death
Eyes are bloody screaming out, ooh, yeah, yeah

Legend, spirit, mind and body
Building all my insides, bright to see the future
Right before my eyes, I know
What's coming, what's coming

In the womb, let me out, not safe but I'm sound
Cut the cord, I'm comin'
Got the blue belly button, too hard to pull through with it
All I know she's birthin'
I'm feeling alive, the closer that I have to my life
I'm pushing out the center, the core
I'm sweating through the flower no more, no more

Life is death is life is death is life, is