Muppets - Ebenezer Scrooge (From A Muppets Christmas Carol) Lyrics

When a cold wind blows it chills you,
Chills you to the bone
But there's nothin' in nature that freezes your heart
Like years of bein' alone
It paints you with indifference,
Like a lady paints with rouge
And the worst of the worst,
The most hated and cursed
Is the one that we call Scrooge
Unkind as any,
And the wrath of many,
This is Ebenezer Scrooge
OH! There goes Mr. Humbug,
There goes mister grim
If they gave a prize for bein' mean
The winner would be him
Old Scrooge, he loves his money
Cause he thinks it gives him power
If he became a flavor, you can bet he would be sour
(Even the vegetables don't like him!)
There goes mister stingy
There goes mister greed
Hes the undisputed master of the under-handed deed
He charges folks a fortune for his dark and drafty houses
Us poor folk live in misery
Its even worse for mouses
(Please sir, I want some cheese)
He must be so lonely
He must be so sad
He goes to extremes to convince us hes bad
Hes really a victim of fear and of fright
Look close and there must be a sweet man inside
Nah! Uh-Uh!
There goes mister outrage,
There goes mister sneer
Hes got no time for friends or fun
His anger makes that clear
Don't ask him for a favor cause his nastiness increases
No crust of bread for those in need
No cheeses for us meeces
(GonzoCharles Dickens: Scrooge liked the cold
He was hard and sharp as a flint
Secret and self contained
As solitary as an oyster)
Oh! There goes mister heartless, there goes mister cruel
He never gives
He only takes
He lets his hunger rule
If being means
A way of life
That's practiced and Rehearsed
Then all that work is paying off
Cause Scrooge is getting worse
Yes every day in every way
Scrooge is getting worse
(Scrooge: Bah! Humbug!)

[Thanks to p-nut8497 for correcting these lyrics]