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Goodnight to all you late night tv watchers,
And let me say good morning to you all,
At the sound of my voice through this microphone line,
Consider that your wake up call.

My name is Billy
I'm not the man you think I am,
Some mistake me for a writer,
Some mistake me for another network man.

I am the guy who has just hijacked this channel,
This telecast is now under my control,
And now that I have the chance to say what's on my mind,
Let me tell you tales untold.

For 30 years I've worked here at this tv station,
In an editing room no one has ever seen,
Inserting laughter after every punchline,
And gasping after every scream.

But now I want you to give me back,
The years that I have wasted,
Staring at these television screens,
And now that I have your attention,
Let me show you what I mean.

Because I remember back when I was in high school,
I never thought I'd stoop so low,
I thought I'd be the guy on unmasking the clown,
Not the guy out polishing his nose.

So tomorrow on your way into work,
Who will be wearing the emperor's cloths?
Watch the show.