miajairian - Hate Myself Lyrics

Open up the blinds cause it's getting too dark
Feel like I'm living with my eyes wide shut
Carve out my heart like a knife to the bark
It's getting hard to walk knees high in the mud
I'm still looking for a way out
Like I'm stuck in a maze
Mama said it would fade out
And this is just a phase
But how long will it take to get over this pain
When pain killers don't work I'm drowning in the rain
When I got nowhere to turn I just stay up in my lane
When people say they here for you but never show face
Is it just a façade have I fallen too far is it too late God
Is it all the things that I did
All the things that I've done
That got me like this
Got me on the run running from the Lord
Full steam ahead right into the storm
I don't know what to do with myself
I don't know why I hate myself
Feeling like I want to kill myself
But I know that Gods my help
All the pain all the years all the tears that I cried
All the times that I wished that I died
Like all the time far too many times
Thank God I'm alive thank God I'm alive
If it wasn't for Him I wouldn't be here
If it wasn't for sin I wouldn't know fear
Here we go again here we go again
Tying up these loose ends
Man what a year wish my mans was here
Another man down lost another peer
Looking in the mirror all I see is broken glass
And a shattered lifestyle with hope that doesn't last
Maybe I should cut myself maybe I should blast myself
But God I know you love me even though I don't love myself
Is it all the things that I did
All the things that I've done
That got me like this
Got me on the run running from the Lord
Full steam ahead right into the storm
I don't know what to do with myself
I don't know why I hate myself
Feeling like I want to kill myself
But I know that Gods my help