Mike Kowalski - Toxic Masculinity Lyrics

I like my coffee black
I drink my whiskey straight
I pick girls based on their racks
Cause I'm a real straight-shooter if ya know what I'm saying
No I ain't playing
And there's a reason
The nicer ones are tipped more
And before my bros and I hit the town
A quick stop - banana republic
Ask them for their deepest V
I want every bitch to notice me at the bar
From afar
Biting their lips
Try my best to get between their hips
And if it don't happen tonight, there's plenty more
After all they're all just wh-
Fragile egos and low self esteems
Telltale signs of toxic masculinity
And f*ck all you dudes
Your misogynistic views
No girl wants your itty-bitty tiny-weenie crooked corkscrew of a dick
Cause you're a prick
You ain't slick
You're a booger that I pick and flick ay
I obsess over my body
The only thing I have going for me
Hit the gym 8 days a week
Lift next to the new guy
Make sure he feels weak
Then chug a quart of egg beaters when I'm done
Need that brotein for my guns
In swimming trunks you'd admire my buns
Look like a god under the sun
Fragile egos and low self esteems
Telltale signs of toxic masculinity and
F*ck all ya bros who want everyone to know
You'd kick their ass if they ever tried to start shit outside a bar
Even though we all know you'd be the one
To find some stupid reason to get up in arms
Lift up your shirt, show that you have a gun
Look at you go you put on quite a show
Screaming too loud "hey bro- let's go!!"
"Hold me back hold me back you're lucky, man"
You didn't even try to move past him
Fragile egos and low self esteems
Classic signs of toxic masculinity
And f*ck all ya slags, posers, and d-bags
One day you'll get what's a coming to ya
A one-two combo of chlamydia and
A bruised ego from a fight that you lost
Against a guy half your size