Bled Video (MV)

I've beaten my head
With the shovel that dug my grave
I've bled my days, I've burned my way
And I drowned by staying
Stopped praying, started spraying
But nobody listens to a f*cking painting
In desperate need of a lifeline
Cause I disagree with all my lifetime
Spent stuck on my knees, no peace without a dollar
Cause where I'm from you need bridges to cross water
No other choice but to stay undercover
Clutching my crumpling crutches, losing all functions
And when you live with the weight of
Your dad doing drugs, a brother that's f*cked, a mother breaking down
A house falling down, being robbed, being beaten, being forgotten
Having shit friends getting drugged at age ten
Having no support in anything
Living a life that don't make no f*cking sense

Asked that kid if he wanted any of this
He would trade it in for anything but this shit
Stuck in the mud, trapped in the pit
Crabs in a bucket but nobody in it
Can't get out cause no matter what I say
Everything grey in this mindset of mine
Black and white, no such thing as a fine line
I can feel I'm running out of...

I don't know about my day to day
I don't know what that says about me or my mental state
Don't know if it's me or my surroundings
Don't know if this shit's insane sounding
I don't know shit
(I don't know shit)

See mom no hands at god speed
See mom no friends to catch me
See mom I think I'm crashing down
I'm gone cause my brother is lashing out
Hide in every corner, dad is drinking now
Another break up, my innocence is pissing out
I had to just get by, cause my family is broken
Another problem would only cause another commotion
Another day another life not worth living
The problem only worsened when people didn't listen
Cause my whispers are distant, when shouting is norm
That's where I felt mislead And worthless at (It) all
I'm breaking apart, can't feel how I feel
I'm silent but scarred, cause I had to conceal
Every problem I've had, cause I thought it would help
After all it's the past, the card that was dealt
But my family is feeling the exact same pain
The patient and doctor all in the same brain

I don't know about my day to day
I don't know what that says about me or my mental state
Don't know if it's me or my surroundings
Don't know if this shit's insane sounding
I don't know shit
Left bleeding in my own piss, that's how I see it
I guess you could say I'm lost
I Bled for the wrong cause