I cooked her favorite dinner, orecchiette pugliesi per due
I bought her favorite love songs, "Shape of You" and "Thinking Out Loud," on vinyl
I wore a custom-tailored suit, yeah I set the mood
But then she walked in and asked a question that she would not like the answer to
God help me
I ain't got no wifi
I ain't got no wifi
She took one look at me then split, oh baby
I ain't got no Netflix, no Spotify playlists
Nowhere to scroll, no place to go
I ain't got no wifi
I ain't got no wifi
I'm like two blocks from five damn coffee shops
I already told you
I ain't got no Youtube, no neither Bing nor Google
Nowhere to scroll, no place to go
No speed but slowly
Would have popped the question
But I had no connection
Ain't got no wifi
Ain't got no
Why, if I had wifi, I'd have a wife
I'd have a wife