Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber Of Fleet Street Musical Album Lyrics

Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd.
His skin was pale and his eye was odd.
He shaved the faces of gentlemen
Who never thereafter were heard of again.
He trod a path that few have trod,
Did Sweeney Todd, The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

He kept a shop in London Town
Of fancy clients and good renown.
And what if none of their souls were saved?
They went to their
Maker impeccably shaved by Sweeney,
By Sweeney Todd, The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Swing your razor wide, Sweeney,
Hold it to the skies!
Freely flows the blood of those who moralize.

His needs were few, his room was bare:
A lavabo and a fancy chair,
A mug of suds and a leather strop,
An apron, a towel, a pail and a mop.
For neatness, he deserves a nod.
Did Sweeney Todd, The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.

Inconspicuous Sweeney was,
Quick and quite and clean 'e was.
Back of his smile, under his word,
Sweeney heard music that nobody heard.
Sweeney pondered and Sweeney planned,
Like a perfect machine 'e planned
Sweeney was smooth, Sweeney was subtle,
Sweeney would blink and rats would scuttle.
Sweeney! Sweeney! Sweeney! Sweeney! Sweeney!

Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd
He served a dark and a vengeful god
What happened then, well that's the play,
And he wouldn't want us to give it away. Not Sweeney,
Not Sweeney Todd, The demon barber of Fleet Street.

Antony

I have sailed the world
Beheld its wonders
From the Dardanelles,
To the mountains of Peru,
But there's no place like London!
I feel home again...
I could hear the city bells ring...
Whatever would I do?
No there's...

Sweeney Todd

No place like London...

Antony (spoken)

Mr. Todd, sir

Sweeney Todd

You are young...
Life has been kind to you...
You will learn.
(Spoken) 'Tis here we go our separate ways.
Farewell Antony.
I will not soon forget the good ship Bountiful, nor the young man who saved my life.

Antony

(Spoken) There's no cause to thank me for that, sir.
It would have been a poor Christian indeed who would have spotted you
Pinching and tossing on that raft and not given the alarm.

Sweeney Todd

(Spoken)
There's many a Christian would've done just that and not lost a winks sleep over it either.

Beggar Woman

(Sung) Alms, alms for a miserable woman, on a miserable chilly mornin'!
Thank ya, sir, thank ya...
How would ya like a little muff,
Dear a little jig-jig,
A little bounce around the bush!
Wouldn't ya like to push me parsley?
It looks to me, dear, that you've got plenty there to push!
Alms, alms for a pitiful woman...
What's got wandering wits?
Hey! DOn't I know you, mister?

Sweeney Todd

Must you glare at me, woman?
Off with you!
Off I say!

Beggar Woman

Then how would ya like to split me muff?
Mister, we'll go jig-jig!
A little...

Sweeney Todd

Off I said!
To the devil with you!

Beggar Woman

Alms, alms for a pitiful woman!

Antony (Spoken)

Pardon me, sir, but there's no need to fear the likes of her,
She's only a half-crazed beggar woman...
London's full of them.

Sweeney Todd (spoken)

I beg your indulgance, boy, my mind is far from easy.
For in the once familiar streets I feel a chill of ghostly shadows everywhere.
Forgive me.

Antony (spoken)

There is nothing to forgive.

Sweeney Todd (spoken)

Farewell, Antony.

Antony (spoken)

Mr. Todd, before we part...

Sweeney Todd (spoken)

What is it?

Antony (spoken)

I have honored my promise never to question you.
Whatever brought you to that sorry shipwreck is your affair and yet, over
Many weeks of our voyage home,
I've come to think of you as a friend,
And if trouble lies ahead for you in London, if you
Need any help...or money.

Sweeney Todd (spoken)

No!
(sung)
There's a hole in the world like a great black pit
And the vermin of the world inhabit it
And its morals aren't worth what a pig could spit
And it goes by the name of London.
At the top of the hole sit the privileged few
Making mock of the vermin in the lonely zoo
Turning beauty to filth and greed...
I too have sailed the world and seen its wonders,
For the cruelty of men is as wonderous as Peru
But there's no place like London!
--
There was a barber and his wife
And she was beautiful...
A foolish barber and his wife.
She was his reason for his life...
And she was beautiful, and she was virtuous.
And he was naive.
There was another man who saw
That she was beautiful...
A biased vulture of the law
Who, with a gesture of his claw
Removed the barber from his plate!
And there was nothing but to wait!
And she would fall!
So soft!
So young!
So lost and oh so beautiful!

Antony (spoken)

The lady, sir...did she succumb?

Sweeney Todd (sung)

Ah, that was many years ago...
I doubt if anyone would know.
(spoken)
Now leave me, Antony.
There is somewhere I must go,
Something i must find out.
Now, and alone.

Antony (spoken)

But surely we will meet again before I am off to Plymouth?

Sweeney Todd (spoken)

If you want you may well find me around Fleet Street. I wouldn't wander.
(sung)
There's a hole in the world like a great black pit
And it's filled with people who are filled with shit!
And the vermin of the world inhabit it!

TODD:
There's a hole in the world like a great black pit
And the vermin of the world inhabit it
And it's morals aren't worth what a pig could spit
And it goes by the name of London...

There was a barber and his wife,
And she was beautiful.
A foolish barber and his wife.
She was his reason and his life,
And she was beautiful,
And she was virtuous,
And he was... naive.

There was another man who saw
That she was beautiful.
A pious vulture of the law,
Who, with a gesture of his claw,
Removed the barber from his plate,
Then there was nothing but to wait,
And she would fall,
So soft,
So young,
So lost
And oh so beautiful!

ANTHONY: And the lady, sir, did she succumb?

TODD:
Oh, that was many years ago...
I doubt if anyone would know...

[dialogue]

There's a hole in the world like a great black pit
And it's filled with people who are filled with shit
And the vermin of the world inhabit it...

MRS. LOVETT:
(spoken) A customer!

Wait!
What's your rush? What's your hurry?
You gave me such a --
Fright, I thought you was a ghost!
Half a minute, can'tcher sit!
Sit you down, sit!
All I meant is that I haven't seen a customer for weeks!
Did you come here for a pie, sir?
Do forgive me if me head's a little vague --
Ugh! What is that?
But you think we had the plague!
From the way that people
Keep avoiding --
No you don't!
Heaven knows I try, sir!
Ick!
But there's no one comes in even to inhale!
Right you are, sir, would you like a drop of ale?
Mind you, I can't hardly blame them!
These are probably the worst pies in London!
I know why nobody cares to take them,
I should know,
I make them,
But good? No!
The worst pies in London,
Even that's polite!
The worst pies in London,
If you doubt it, take a bite!
Is that just disgusting?
You have to concede it!
It's nothing but crusting!
Here, drink this, you'll need it!
The worst pies in London...
And no wonder with the price of meat
What it is
When you get it
Never
Thought I'd live to see the day
Men'd think it was a treat
Findin' poor
Animals
Wot are dyin' in the street!
Mrs. Mooney has a pie shop!
Does a business but I notice something weird.
Lately all her neighbors' cats have disappeared!
Have to hand it to her --
Wot I calls
Enterprise
Poppin' pussies into pies!
Wouldn't do in my shop!
Just the thought of it's enough to make you sick!
And I'm tellin' you, them pussycats is quick!
No denying times is hard, sir
Even harder than the worst pies in London!
Only lard and nothing more --
Is that just revolting,
All greasy and gritty?
It looks like it's molting,
And tastes like,
Well, pity
A woman alone,
With limited wind,
And the worst pies in London!
Ah, sir, times is hard,
Times is hard!

MRS. LOVETT:
There was a barber and his wife,
And he was beautiful
A proper artist with a knife,
But they transported him for life.
And he was beautiful...

(spoken) Barker, his name was. Benjamin Barker.
TODD: What was his crime?
LOVETT: Foolishness.

He had this wife, y'see,
Pretty little thing,
Silly little nit,
Had her chance for the moon on a string.
Poor thing.
Poor thing.
There were these two, y'see,
Wanted her like mad,
One of 'em a judge, t'other one his beadle!
Every day they'd nudge and they'd wheedle!
But she wouldn't budge from her needle!
Too bad,
Pure thing.
So they merely shipped the poor blighter off south, they did,
Leavin' 'er with nothing but grief and a year-old kid!
Did she use her head even then? Oh no, God forbid!
Poor fool!
Ah, but there was worse yet to come, poor thing...

(spoken) Johanna... That was the baby's name, pretty little Johanna.
TODD: Go on.
LOVETT: My, you do like a good story, don't you?

Well, Beadle calls on her all polite,
Poor thing,
Poor thing!
The judge, he tells her is all contrite,
He blames himself for her dreadful plight,
She must come straight to his house tonight,
Poor thing,
Poor thing!

Of course when she goes there, poor thing, poor thing,
They're 'avin' this ball all in masks!
There's no one she knows there, poor dear, poor thing!
She wanders tormented and drinks, poor thing!
The judge has repented, she thinks, poor thing!
'Oh, where is Judge Turpin,' she asks...
'E was there alright,
Only not so contrite!

She wasn't no match for such craft, y'see,
And everyone thought it so droll.
They figured she had to be daft, y'see,
So all of them stood there and laughed, y'see!
Poor soul!
Poor thing!

TODD:
These are my friends,
See how they glisten.
See this one shine,
How he smiles in the light,
My friends,
My faithful friends...

Speak to me, friend.
Whisper, I'll listen.
I know, I know
You've been locked out of sight
All these years!
Like me, my friend!
Well, I've come home
To find you waiting!
Home,
And we're together...
And we'll do wonders...
Won't we...?

[Simultaneously, for rest of song]
TODD:
You there, my friend,
Come, let me hold you.
Now, with a sigh,
You grow warm
In my hand...
My friend,
My clever friend...
LOVETT:
I'm your friend too, Mr. Todd.
If you only knew, Mr. Todd.
Ooh, Mr. Todd,
You're warm
In my hand...
You've come home...
Always had a fondness for you,
I did.

TODD:
Rest now, my friends.
Soon I'll unfold you.
Soon you'll know splendors
You never have dreamed
All your days,
My lucky friends.
Till now your shine
Was merely silver.
Friends,
You shall drip rubies,
You'll soon drip precious
Rubies...
LOVETT:
Never you fear, Mr. Todd.
You can move in here
Mr. Todd. Splendors
You never have dreamed
All your days
Will be yours!
I'm your friend,
And you're mine!
Don't they shine beautiful?
Silver's good enough for me,
Mr. T...

[Company]
Lift your razor high!
Sweeney!
Hear it singing!
Yes!
Stick it in the rosy skin of righteousness!
His voice was soft, his manner mild.
He seldom laughed but he often smiled.
He'd seen how civilized men behaved.
He never forgot
And he never forgave.
Not Sweeney...
Not Sweeney Todd...
The Demon barber of Fleet Street

JOHANNA (Sings):
Green finch and linnet bird,
Nightingale, blackbird,
How is it you sing?
How can you jubilate,
Sitting in cages,
Never taking wing?
Outside the sky waits,
Beckoning, beckoning,
Just beyond the bars.
How can you remain,
Staring at the rain,
Maddened by the stars?
How is it you sing
Anything?
How is it you sing?
Green finch and linnet bird,
Nightingale, blackbird,
How is it you sing?
Whence comes this melody constantly flowing?
Is it rejoicing or merely halloing?
Are you discussing or fussing
Or simply dreaming?
Are you crowing?
Are you screaming?
Ringdove and robinet,
Is it for wages,
Singing to be sold?
Have you decided it's
Safer in cages,
Singing when you're told?

(ANTHONY enters. Instantly he sees her and stands transfixed by her beauty)

My cage has many rooms,
Damask and dark.
Nothing there sings,
Not even my lark.
Larks never will, you know,
When they're captive.
Teach me to be more adaptive.
Green finch and linnet bird,
Nightingale, blackbird,
Teach me how to sing.
If I cannot fly,
Let me sing.
(She gazes into the middle distance disconsolately)

ANTHONY (Gazing at her, sings softly):
I have sailed the world,
Beheld its wonders,
From the pearls of Spain
To the rubies of Tibet,
But not even in London
Have I seen such a wonder . . .
(Breathlessly)
Lady look at me look at me miss oh
Look at me please oh
Favor me favor me with your glance.
Ah, miss,
What do you what do you see off
There in those trees oh
Won't you give won't you give me a chance?
Who would sail to Spain
For all its wonders,
When in Kearney's Lane
Lies the greatest wonder yet?
Ah, miss,
Look at you look at you pale and
Ivory-skinned oh
Look at you looking so sad so queer.
Promise
Not to retreat to the darkness
Back of your window
Not till you not till you look down here.
Look at

ANTHONY. JOHANNA:
Me! Green finch and linnet bird,
Look at Nightingale, blackbird,
Me! Teach me how to sing.
If I cannot fly,
Look at me .. . Let me sing ...

ANTHONY (Gazing at her, sings softly):
I have sailed the world,
Beheld its wonders,
From the pearls of Spain
To the rubies of Tibet,
But not even in London
Have I seen such a wonder . . .
(Breathlessly)
Lady look at me look at me miss oh
Look at me please oh
Favor me favor me with your glance.
Ah, miss,
What do you what do you see off
There in those trees oh
Won't you give won't you give me a chance?
Who would sail to Spain
For all its wonders,
When in Kearney's Lane
Lies the greatest wonder yet?
Ah, miss,
Look at you look at you pale and
Ivory-skinned oh
Look at you looking so sad so queer.
Promise
Not to retreat to the darkness
Back of your window
Not till you not till you look down here.
Look at

ANTHONY. JOHANNA:
Me! Green finch and linnet bird,
Look at Nightingale, blackbird,
Me! Teach me how to sing.
If I cannot fly,
Look at me .. . Let me sing ...

BEGGAR WOMAN:
Alms, Alms for a miserable woman.
Beg your pardon, it's you sir, thank you, thank you kindly.

ANTHONY (spoken):
One moment mother, perhaps you know who's house this is.

BEGGAR WOMAN:
(nervously) That, Oh, That's the gret Judge Turpins house that is.

ANTHONY:
And the young lady who resides there?

BEGGAR WOMAN:
(increasingly nervous) Oh her? Well that's J-Johanna, His pretty little ward.
Oh but don't you go tresspassing there young man. Not if you value your hide.
Tamper there and it's a good wippin' for ya,
Or any other yout' wif mischeif on 'is mind. (laughs)

(Sing-song) Hey, Oink sailor boy, want it's lovely harbored,
Open me gate but don't get straight I see it lists to starboard
(laughs widly)

ANTHONY: Off with you, OFF!

ANTHONY:
I feel you, Johanna,
I feel you.
I was half convinced I'd waken,
Satisfied enough to dream you.
Happily I was mistaken,
Johanna.
I'll steal you, Johanna,
I'll steal you.

[dialogue]

I'll steal you, Johanna,
I'll steal you.
Do they think that walls could hide you?
Even now, I'm at your window.
I am in the dark beside you,
Buried sweetly in your yellow hair!
I feel you, Johanna,
And one day I'll steal you!
Til I'm with you then,
I'm with you there,
Sweetly buried in your yellow hair!

Tobias:
Ladies and Gentlemen!
May I have your attention please?
Do you wake every morning in shame and despair
To discover your pillow is covered with hair
Wot ought not to be there?
Well, ladies and gentlemen,
From now on you can waken with ease.
You need never again have a worry or care,
I will show you a miracle marvelous rare,
Gentlemen, you are about to see something wot rose
From the dead!
On the top of my head.

Scarcely a month ago, gentlemen,
I was suddenly struck with a rare
Oriental disease.
Though the finest physicians in London were called,
I awakened one morning amazed and appalled
To discover with dread that my head was as bald
As a novice's knees!
I was dying of shame
Till a gentleman came,
An illustrious barber, Pirelli by name.
He gave me a liquid as precious as gold.
I rubbed it in daily like wot I was told,
And behold!
Less than thirty days old!

'Twas Pirelli's
Miracle elixir
That's what did the trick, sir,
True, sir, true.
Was it quick, sir?
Did it in a tick, sir,
Just like an elixir
Ought to do!

How about a bottle, mister?
Only costs a penny, guaranteed.

COMPANY:
Penny buys a bottle, I don't know
You don't need
Ah, let's go

Tobias:
Go ahead and tug, sir.
Go ahead, sir, harder.

Does Pirelli's
Stimulate the growth, sir?
You can have my oath, sir,
'Tis unique.
Rub a minute.
Stimulatin', in'it?
Soon you'll have to thin it
Once a week!

Gently dab it.
Gets to be a habit.
Soon there'll be enough, sir,
Somebody can grab it.
See that chap with
Hair like Shelley's?
You can tell 'e's
Used Pirelli's!

COMPANY:
Let me have a bottle,
Make that two!

Lovett:
Pardon me, sir, what's that awful stink?

Sweeney:
Smells to me like piss and looks like ink.

Tobias:
Buy Pirelli's
Miracle elixir
Anything wot's slick, sir,
Soon sprouts curls.
Try Pirelli's
When they see how thick, sir,
You can have your pick, sir,
Of the girls!

See Pirelli's
Miracle elixir
Grow a little wick, sir,
Then some fuzz.
The Pirelli's
Soon'll make it thick, sir,
Like a good elixir
Always does!

Trust Pirelli's
If your hair is sick, sir,
Fix it in a nick, sir,
Don't look grim.
Just Pirelli's
Miracle elixir,
That'll do the trick, sir

COMPANY:
What about the money?

Tobias:
If you've got a kick, sir

COMPANY:
What about the money?
Where is this Pirelli?
Go and get Pirelli!

Tobias(Simultaneously as next COMPANY line):
Tell it to the mixer
Of the miracle elixir
If you've got a kick, sir,

COMPANY:
What about our money?
Where is this Pirelli?

Todd:
Signore Pirelli, I am Mr.Sweeney Todd and I have serviced no kings,
Yet I'll wager I can shave a cheek and pull a tooth
With ten times more dexterity than any street mountebank! You see these Razors?
I lay them against five pounds you are no match for me.

Pirelli:
You hear this foolish man? Watch and see how he will regret his folly.

Todd:
Will Beadle Bamford be the judge?

Beadle:
Gladly, as always, to oblige my friends and neighbors.

Pirelli:
REady?

Todd:
Ready.

Pirelli:
To shave-a da face,
To pull-a da toot,
Require da grace
And not-a da brute
For if you slip and nick-a da skin,
You clip-a da chin
You rip-a da lip a bit
And dats-a da trut!

To shave-a da face
Or even a part
Widout it-a smart
Require da heart
It takes-a da art
I show you a chrt
I study-a starting in my yout!

To cut-a da hair
To trim-a da beard
To make-a da bristle
Clean as a whistle
Dis is from early infancy
Da talent give to me
By God--------

It take-a da skill
It take-a da brians
It take-a da will
It take-a da Pains
It take-a da pace
It take-a da grace------

Beadle:
The winner is Todd

Pirelli:
Sir, I bow to a skill far defter than my own


Beadle:
Mr.Todd. Strange, sir, but it seems your face is know to me

Mrs.Lovett:
Him? thats a laugh,
Him being me uncles cousin and arrived from Birmingham only yesterday.

Todd:
And yet already I have heard Beadle Bramford spoken of with great respect

Beadle:
Well, sir, I try my best for my neighbors. In fleet street? Above your Pie shop, ma'am?

Mrs.Lovett:
That's it, sir

Beadle:
Then Mr. Todd, you shall surely see me there before the week is out.

Todd:
You will be welcome, Beadle Bramford, and I guarantee to give you,
Without a penny's charge, the closest shave you will ever know.

Company:
Sweeney Pondered and Sweeney planned
Like a perfect mahine'e planned
Barbing the hook, baiting the trap
Setting out for the Beadle to snap
Set a sort of a scene, 'e did
Laying the trail, showing the traces
Letting it lead to higher places
SWEENEY.......

MRS. LOVETT:
Easy now,
Hush, love, hush,
Don't distress yourself,
What's your rush?
Keep your thoughts
Nice and lush,
Wait.

Hush, love, hush,
Think it through.
Once it bubbles, then
What's to do?
Watch it close.
Let it brew.
Wait.

I've been thinkin' flowers,
Maybe daisies,
To brighten up the room!
Don't you think some flowers,
Pretty daisies,
Might relieve the gloom?
Ah, wait,
Love, wait.

TODD: (spoken) And the judge? When will I get to him?

LOVETT:
Can't you think of nothin' else?
Always broodin' away on your wrongs
What happened heaven knows how many years ago!

Slow, love, slow.
Time's so fast.
Now goes quickly, see
Now it's past!
Soon will come,
Soon will last.
Wait.

Don't you know,
Silly man?
Half the fun is to
Plan the plan!
All good things
Come to those who can
Wait.

Gillyflowers, maybe,
'Stead of daisies...
I dunno though...
What do you think?

Judge:
Mea cupla, mea culpa
Mea maxima culpa
Mea maxima maxima culpa!
God deliever me! Release me!
Forgive me! Restrain me! Pervade me!

Johanna Johanna
So suddenly a woman,
The light behind your window---
It penetrates your gown,
Johanna Johanna
The sun---I see the sun through your--
No!
God!
Deliver me! Deliver me!
Down!
Down.
Down.....

Johanna Johanna
I watch you from the shadows.
You sigh before your window
And gaze upon the town
Your lips part Johanna
SO young and soft and beautiful----
God!
Deliver me!
Filth.
Leave me!

Johanna Johanna
I treasured you in innocence
And loved you like a daughter
You mock me, Johanna
You tempt me with your innocence
You tempt with those quivering---
No!
God!
Deliver me!
It will---
Stop---
Now! It will---
Stop---
Right.
Now.
Right
Now.
Right
Now...

Johanna, Johanna
I cannot keep you longer
The world is at your window
You want to fly away
You stir me, Johanna
SO suddenly a woman
I cannot watch you one more day---
God!
Deilver me!
God!
Deliver me!
God!
Deliver----!
GOD!!!!!

Johanna, Johanna
I'll keep you here forever
I'll wed on the morrow
JOhanna JOhanna
The world will never touch you
I'll wed you on the morrow
As years pass, johanna
You'll tend me in my solitude
No longer as my daughter
As a woman
Johanna Johanna
I'll hold you here forever then
You'll keep away from windows and
You'll
Deliver me.
Johanna.
From this
Hot
Red
Devil
With your
Soft
White
Cool
Virgin
Palms.

JOHANNA (counterpoint with ANTHONY):
He means to marry me Monday
What should I do?
I'd rather die

ANTHONY (counterpoint with JOHANNA):
I have a plan

JOHANNA:
I'll swallow poison on Sunday
That's what I'll do
I'll get some lye

ANTHONY:
I have a plan!

JOHANNA:
Oh, dear! Was that a noise?

ANTHONY:
A plan!

JOHANNA:
I think I heard a noise!

ANTHONY:
A plan!

JOHANNA:
It couldn't be!
He's in court,
He's in court today,
Still that was a noise...
Wasn't that a noise?
You must have heard that —

ANTHONY:
Kiss me!

JOHANNA:
Oh, sir!

ANTHONY:
Ah, miss!

JOHANNA:
Oh, sir!
If he should marry me Monday,
What shall I do?
I'll die of grief.

ANTHONY:
We fly tonight —

JOHANNA:
'Tis Friday, virtually Sunday,
What can we do with time so brief?

ANTHONY:
We fly tonight —

JOHANNA:
Behind the curtain, quick!

ANTHONY:
Tonight —

JOHANNA:
I think I heard a click!

ANTHONY:
Tonight!

JOHANNA:
It was a gate!
It's the gate!
We don't have a gate.
Still there was a — Wait!
There's another click!
You must have heard that —

ANTHONY:
It's not a gate.
There's no gate,
You don't have a gate.
If you'd only listen miss and...
Kiss me!

JOHANNA:
Tonight?

ANTHONY:
Kiss me!

JOHANNA:
You mean tonight?

ANTHONY:
The plan is made!

JOHANNA:
Oh, sir!

ANTHONY;
So kiss me!

JOHANNA:
I feel a fright!

ANTHONY:
Be not afraid!

JOHANNA:
Sir, I did
Love you even as I
Saw you, even as it
Did not matter that I
Did not know your name...

ANTHONY:
Tonight I'll steal you!

JOHANNA,
I'll steal you...

ANTHONY:
It's me you'll marry on Monday,
That's what you'll do!

JOHANNA:
And gladly, sir.

ANTHONY:
St. Dunstan's, noon.

JOHANNA:
I knew I'd be with you one day,
Even not knowing who you were.
I feared you'd never come,
That you'd been called away,
That you'd been killed,
Had the plague,
Were in debtor's jail,
Trampled by a horse,
Gone to sea again,
Arrested by the —

JOHANNA:
Kiss me!

ANTHONY:
Of course!

JOHANNA:
Quickly!

ANTHONY:
Ah, miss!
Marry me! Marry me miss!
Oh, marry me Monday!
Favor me! Favor me
With your hand!
Promise!
Marry me! Marry me, please!
Oh, marry me Monday —

ANTHONY:
You're sure?

JOHANNA:
Kiss me!

ANTHONY:
I shall!

JOHANNA:
Kiss me!
Oh, sir...

JUDGE (spoken):
Walk home with me,
For I have news for you.
In order to shield her from the evils of this world,
I have decided to marry Johanna next Monday.

BEADLE (spoken):
Ah, sir!
Happy news, indeed!

JUDGE (spoken):
Strange...
When I offered myself to her,
She showed a certain reluctance.

BEADLE (sung):
Excuse me, my lord
May I request, my lord
Permission, my lord
To speak?
Forgive me, my lord
If I suggest, my lord
You're looking not your best, my lord
There's powder upon your vest, my lord
And stubble upon your cheek
And ladies, my lord, are weak.

JUDGE (spoken):
Perhaps!
If she greets me cordially upon my return,
I shall give her a small gift!

BEADLE:
Ladies and their sensitivities, my lord!
Have a fragile sensibility.
When a girl's emergent,
Probably, it's urgent,
You refer to her gentility, my lord!
Personal disorder cannot be ignored
Given their gentile proclivities,
Meaning no offenses
It happens they resense it
Ladies and their sensitivities, my lord!

JUDGE (spoken):
Stubble, you say?
Perhaps at times I am a little over-hasty with my morning ablutions,

BEADLE:
Fret not though, my lord!
I know a place, my lord
A barber, my lord, of skill!
Thus armed with a shaven face, my lord
Some older cologne to brace, my lord
And musk to enhance the chase, my lord
You'll dazzle the girl until...

JUDGE (spoken):
Until?

BEADLE:
She bows to your every will.

JUDGE (spoken):
Perhaps you may be right!
Take me to him!

Sweeney Todd
(Judge Turpin)
{Both}

[Spoken]
(Mr. Todd)
At your service
An honour to receive your your patronage, my lord
(You know me, sir?)
Who in this wide world does not know the great Judge Turpin?

And what may I do for you, sir?
A stylish trimming of the hair?
A soothing skin massage?
Sit, sir. Sit

[Sung]
(You see, sir, a man infatuate with love)
(Her ardent and eager slave)
(So fetch the pomade and pumice stone)
(And lend me a more seductive tone)

(A sprinkling perhaps of French cologne)
(But first, sir, I think a shave)
The closest I ever gave

(You are in a merry mood today, Mr. Todd)
It's your delight, sir, catching fire from one man to the next
('Tis true, sir, love can still inspire)
(The blood to pound, the heart leap higher)

(What more), what more {can man require}
(than love, sir?)
More than love, sir, (what, sir?)
Women, (ah yes, women)
Pretty women

*Sweeney Todd whistles*

Now then, my friend
Now to your purpose
Patience, enjoy it
Revenge can't be taken in haste

(Make haste and if we wed, you'll be commended, sir)
My lord
And who may it be said is your intended, sir?
(My ward)

[Spoken]
(And pretty as a rosebud)
Pretty as her mother?
(What? What was that?)
Oh, nothing, sir
Nothing, nothing, may we proceed?

[Sung]
Pretty women
Fascinating...
Sipping coffee,
Dancing...
Pretty women
Are a wonder.
Pretty women!

Sitting in the window or
Standing on the stair
Something in them cheers the air.

Pretty women
(Silhouetted...)
Stay within you,
(Glancing...) stay forever,
(Breathing lightly...)
Pretty women,
{Pretty women!}

Blowing out their candles or
(blowing out their candles)
Combing out their hair,
(combing out their hair, then they leave)
Even when they leave
(even when they leave you and vanish)
They still are there.
(they somehow can still remain there with you)
They're there
(they're there with you)

Ah! {Pretty women}, at their mirrors,
(In their gardens,)
Letter-writing,
(Flower-picking,)
Weather-watching.
{How they make a man sing!}

{Proof of heaven... as you're living,}
{Pretty women!} Sir! {Pretty women!}
Here's to {pretty women}
All the {pretty women}
{Pretty women}
{Pretty women}

Sweeney:
I had him! His throat was bare beneath my hand.

Lovett:
There, there dear. Calm down.

Sweeney:
NO I had him!
His throat was there and he'll never come again.

Lovett:
Easy now. Hush love hush. I keep telling you...

Sweeney:
When?

Lovett:
What's your rush?

Sweeney:
Why did I wait? You told me to wait.
Now he'll never come again.

There's a hole in the world like a great black pit
And it's filled with people who are filled with shit
And the vermin of the world inhabit it.
But not for long.
They all deserve to die.
Tell you why, Mrs Lovett, tell you why.

Because in all of the whole human race, Mrs Lovett,
There are two kinds of men and only two.
There's the one who stays put in his proper place
And the one with his foot in the other one's face.
Look at me, Mrs Lovett, look at you.
Though we all deserve to die. Even you, Mrs Lovett, even I.

Bcause the lives of the wicked should be, made brief.
For the rest of us death will be a relief.
We all deserve to die.

And I'll never see Johanna,
No I'll never hug my girl to me.
FINISHED!!

Alright! You sir, how about a shave?
Come and visit your good friend Sweeney!
You sir, too sir. Welcome to the grave.
I will have vengeance.
I will have salvation.

Who sir? you sir.
No one's in the chair. Come on come on.
Sweeney's waiting.
I want you bleeders.
You sir, anybody!
Come on, gentlemen now don't be shy.
Not one man. No, nor ten men. Nor a hundred can assuage me.
I will HAVE YOU!

And I will get him back, even as he gloats.
In the mean time I'll practice on less honorable throats.

And my Lucy lies in ashes and I'll never see my girl again.

But the work waits.
I'm alive at last
And I'm full of joy!

MRS. LOVETT:
Seems a downright shame...
TODD: Shame?
LOVETT:
Seems an awful waste...
Such a nice, plump frame
Wot's 'is name has...
Had...
Has!
Nor it can't be traced...
Bus'ness needs a lift,
Debts to be erased...
Think of it as thrift,
As a gift,
If you get my drift!

[Original Broadway Cast:]
No?

Seems an awful waste...
I mean, with the price of meat
What it is,
When you get it,
If you get it...

TODD: HAH!
LOVETT:
Good, you got it!

Take, for instance, Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop!
Bus'ness never better using only pussycats and toast!
And a pussy's good for maybe six or seven at the most!
And I'm sure they can't compare as far as taste!

[Simultaneously]

TODD:
Mrs. Lovett, what a charming notion
LOVETT:
Well, it does seem a waste...

TODD:
Eminently practical
And yet appropriate as always!
LOVETT:
It's an idea...

TODD:
Mrs. Lovett, how I've lived
Without you all these years, I'll never know!
How delectable!
Also undetectable!
LOVETT:
Think about it!
Lots of other gentlemen'll
Soon be comin' for a shave,
Won't they?
Think of
All them
Pies!

TODD:
How choice!

How
Rare!

TODD:
For what's the sound of the world out there?
LOVETT:
What, Mr. Todd?
What, Mr. Todd?
What is that sound?
TODD:
Those crunching noises pervading the air!
LOVETT:
Yes, Mr. Todd!
Yes, Mr. Todd!
Yes, all around!
TODD:
It's man devouring man, my dear!
BOTH:
And [LOVETT: Then] who are we to deny it in here?

TODD: (spoken) These are desperate times,
Mrs. Lovett, and desperate measures are called for!
LOVETT: Here we are, now! Hot out of the oven!
TODD: What is that?

LOVETT:
It's priest. Have a little priest.
TODD:
Is it really good?
LOVETT:
Sir, it's too good, at least!
Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh,
So it's pretty fresh.
TODD:
Awful, lot of fat.
LOVETT:
Only where it sat.
TODD:
Haven't you got poet, or something like that?
LOVETT:
No, y'see, the trouble with poet is
How do you know it's deceased?
Try the priest!

[Original Broadway Cast:]
TODD: (spoken) Heavenly!
Not as hearty as bishop, perhaps,
But then again, not as bland as curate, either!

[Original Broadway Cast:]
LOVETT:
And good for business, too -- always leaves you wantin' more!
Trouble is, we only get it on Sundays!

Lawyer's rather nice.
TODD:
If it's for a price.
LOVETT:
Order something else, though, to follow,
Since no one should swallow it twice!
TODD:
Anything that's lean.
LOVETT:
Well, then, if you're British and loyal,
You might enjoy Royal Marine!
Anyway, it's clean.
Though of course, it tastes of wherever it's been!
TODD:
Is that squire,
On the fire?
LOVETT:
Mercy no, sir, look closer,
You'll notice it's grocer!
TODD:
Looks thicker,
More like vicar!
LOVETT:
No, it has to be grocer --
It's green!

TODD:
The history of the world, my love --
LOVETT:
Save a lot of graves,
Do a lot of relatives favors!
TODD:
Is those below serving those up above!
LOVETT:
Ev'rybody shaves,
So there should be plenty of flavors!
TODD:
How gratifying for once to know
BOTH:
That those above will serve those down below!


[Original Broadway Cast:]
LOVETT: (spoken) Now let's see, here... We've got tinker.
TODD: Something... pinker.
LOVETT: Tailor?
TODD: Paler.
LOVETT: Butler?
TODD: Subtler.
LOVETT: Potter?
TODD: Hotter.
LOVETT: Locksmith?

Lovely bit of clerk.
TODD:
Maybe for a lark.
LOVETT:
Then again there's sweep
If you want it cheap
And you like it dark!
Try the financier,
Peak of his career!
TODD:
That looks pretty rank.
LOVETT:
Well, he drank,
It's a bank
Cashier.
Never really sold.
Maybe it was old.
TODD:
Have you any Beadle?
LOVETT:
Next week, so I'm told!
Beadle isn't bad till you smell it and
Notice 'ow well it's been greased...
Stick to priest!

(spoken) Now then, this might be a little bit stringy,
But then of course it's... fiddle player!
TODD: No, this isn't fiddle player -- it's piccolo player!
LOVETT: 'Ow can you tell?
TODD: It's piping hot!
LOVETT: Then blow on it first!

TODD:
The history of the world, my sweet --
LOVETT:
Oh, Mr. Todd,
Ooh, Mr. Todd,
What does it tell?
TODD:
Is who gets eaten, and who gets to eat!
LOVETT:
And, Mr. Todd,
Too, Mr. Todd,
Who gets to sell!
TODD:
But fortunately, it's also clear
BOTH:
That [L: But] ev'rybody goes down well with beer!

LOVETT: (spoken)
Since marine doesn't appeal to you, 'ow about... rear admiral?
TODD: Too salty. I prefer general.
LOVETT: With, or without his privates? "With" is extra.
[End Original Broadway Cast Part]


TODD: What is that?
LOVETT:
It's fop.
Finest in the shop.
And we have some shepherd's pie peppered
With actual shepherd on top!
And I've just begun --
Here's the politician, so oily
It's served with a doily,
Have one!
TODD:
Put it on a bun.
Well, you never know if it's going to run!
LOVETT:
Try the friar,
Fried, it's drier!
TODD:
No, the clergy is really
Too coarse and too mealy!
LOVETT:
Then actor,
That's compacter!
TODD:
Yes, and always arrives overdone!
I'll come again when you have JUDGE on the menu!

[Original Broadway Cast:]
LOVETT: (spoken) Wait! True, we don't have judge yet,
But we've got something you might fancy even better.
TODD: What's that?
LOVETT: Executioner!

[Movie Version:]
TODD: (spoken) I'll come again when you have judge on the menu.

TODD:
Have charity towards the world, my pet!
LOVETT:
Yes, yes, I know, my love!
TODD:
We'll take the customers that we can get!
LOVETT:
High-born and low, my love!
TODD:
We'll not discriminate great from small!
No, we'll serve anyone,
Meaning anyone,
BOTH:
And to anyone
At all!

[Toby]
Ladies and gentlemen
May I have your attention, please?
Are your nostrils aquiver and tingling as well as that delicate, luscious, ambrosial smell?
Yes, they are, I can tell
Well, ladies and gentlemen
That aroma enriching the breeze
Is like something compared to its succulent source
As the gourmets among you will tell you, of course
Ladies and gentlemen you can't imagine the rapture in store
Just inside of this door!
There, you'll sample Mrs. Lovett's meat pies
Savory and sweet pies, as you'll see
You who eat pies Mrs. Lovett's meat pies
Conjure up the treat pies used to be!

[Customers]
Over here, boy
How about some ale?
Let me have another, laddie
Could we have some service, waiter?
Could we have some service?
What about that pie boy?

[Toby]
Ladies and gentlemen-

[Lovett]
Toby!

[Toby]
Coming, excuse me

[Lovett]
Ale there!

[Toby]
Right,Ma'am!

[Lovett]
Quick, now!

[Customers]
God that's good!

[Lovett]
Nice to see you, dearie
How have you been keeping?
Cor, me bones is weary
Toby! One for the gentleman
Hear the birdies cheeping
Helps to keep it cheery
Toby! Throw the old woman out!

[Customers]
God, that's good!

[Lovett]
What's your pleasure, dearie?
No, we don't cut slices
Cor, me eyes is bleary!
Toby! One for the gentleman!
I could up me prices, I'm a little leery
Business couldn't be better, though

[Customers]
God that's good!

[Lovett]
Knock on wood

[Sweeney Todd]
Psst!

[Lovett]
Excuse me

[Sweeney Todd]
Psst!

[Lovett]
Dear, see to the customers

[Sweeney Todd]
Psst!

[Lovett]
Yes, what, love?
Quick, though, the trade is brisk

[Sweeney Todd]
But it's six o'clock

[Lovett]
So it's six o'clock?

[Sweeney Todd]
It was due to avrive at a quarter and it's six o'clock!

[Lovett]
And it's probably already down the block!
It'll be here! It'll be here!

[Sweeney Todd]
I've been waiting all day!
It should have been here by now!

[Customers]
More hot pies!

[Lovett]
Will you wait there coolly?

[Sweeney Todd]
You'll come back when it comes?

[Lovett]
'Cause my customers truly, are getting unruly and-
What's your pleasure, dearie?
Whoops! I beg your pardon
Just me hands is smeary
Toby! One for the gentleman
Don't you love the garden?
Always makes me teary
Must be one of them foreiners

[Customers]
God, that's good, that is delicious!

[Lovett]
What's my secret?
Frankly, dear, forgive my candor
Family secret, all to do with herbs
Things like being careful with your coriander
That's what makes the gravy grander

[Customers]
More hot pies! More hot! More pies!

[Sweeney Todd]
Psst!

[Lovett]
Excuse me!

[Sweeney Todd]
Psst!

[Lovett]
Dear, see to the customers

[Sweeney Todd]
Psst!

[Lovett]
Yes, what, love?
Quick, though, the trade is brisk

[Sweeney Todd]
It's here!

[Lovett]
It's where?

[Sweeney Todd]
Coming up the stair

[Lovett]
I'll get rid of this lot as they're still pretty hot and then I'll be there!

[Sweeney Todd]
It's about to be opened or don't you care?

[Lovett]
I'll be there! I'll be there!
But they'll never be sold if they get cold

[Sweeney Todd]
But we have to prepare!

[Lovett]
Incidentally, dearie, you know Mrs. Mooney
Sales have been so dreary
Toby! Poor thing is penniless
What about that loony, lookin' sort of beery
Oh well, got her come-uppance and that'll be thruppence

[Customers]
God, that's good, that is "de", have you "licious" ever tasted smell such
Oh my god what more, that's pies good!

[Sweeney Todd/Lovett]
Oh, is that a chair fit for a king?
A wonderous, neat, and most particular chair?

[Lovett]
It's gorgeous! It's gorgeous!

[Sweeney Todd]
You tell me where is there a seat can half compare with this particular thing!

[Lovett]
It's perfect! It's gorgeous!

[Sweeney Todd]
I have a few minor adjustments to make

[Lovett]
You make your few minor adjustments

[Sweeney Todd]
They'll take a moment I'll call you

[Lovett]
You take your time
I'll go see to the customers

[Sweeney Todd]
I have another friend!

[Toby]
Is that a pie fit for a king?
Such wonderous sweet and most particular thing?

[Lovett]
Its gorgeous! It's gorgeous!

[Toby]
You see, Ma'am, why there is no meat pie can compeat with delectable pie

[Lovett]
Its perfect! It's gorgeous!

[Toby]
The crust all velvety and wavy

[Lovett]
The crust all velvety and wavy

[Toby]
That glaze, those crimps

[Lovett]
That glaze, those crimps

[Toby]
And then the thick, succulent gravy

[Lovett]
And then the thick, succulent gravy

[Sweeney Todd]
And now to test
This best of barber chairs

[Toby]
One whiff, one glimpse

[Lovett]
So rich, so thick, it makes you sick

[Toby]
So tender that you surrender

[Sweeney Todd]
Psst!

[Lovett]
Excuse me

[Sweeney Todd]
Psst!

[Lovett]
Dear, see to the customers

[Sweeney Todd]
Psst!

[Lovett]
All set love?

[Sweeney Todd]
Quick now!

[Lovett]
Me hearts a flutter!

[Sweeney Todd]
When I pound the floor

[Lovett]
When you pound the floor

[Sweeney Todd]
It's the signal to show that i'm ready to go

[Lovett]
Yes, you told me before
You'll be ready to go when you pound the floor
Will you trust me? Will you trust me?

[Sweeney Todd]
I just want to be sure
When I'm certain your in place I'll pound three times
Three times, and then you?

[Lovett]
Three times!

[Lovett]
If you!

[Lovett]
Exactly!

[Customers]
More hot pies!

[Lovett]
God!

[Customers]
More hot more pies!

[Lovett]
Right!

[Customers]
More!

[Lovett]
Wait!

[Customers]
More hot pies!
More hot more pies!
More hot pies!

[Lovett/Toby]
Eat them slow and feel the crust how thin
I/She rolled it
Eat them slow 'cause every one's a prize
Eat them slow 'cause that's the lot and now we sold it
Come again tomorow!

[Lovett]
Hold It!

[Customers]
More hot pies!

[Lovett]
Bless my eyes!
Fresh supplies!
How about it, dearie?

[Toby]
Is that a pie fit for a king

[Lovett]
Be here in a twinkling!

[Toby]
A wonderous Sweet

[Lovett]
Just confirms my theory

[Toby]
And most delectable thing?

[Lovett]
Toby! God watches over us
Didn't have an inkling
Positively eerie

[Toby]
You see why there's no meat pie--

[Lovett]
Toby! Throw the old woman out!

[Customers]
God thats good
That is "de"
Have you "licious" ever tasted smell such
Oh my god what more, that pie's good!

ANTHONY:
I feel you, Johanna, I feel you
Do they think that walls can hide you?
Even now I'm at your window
I am in the dark beside you,
Buried sweetly in your yellow hair, Johanna...

SWEENEY TODD:
And are you beautiful and pale,
With yellow hair, like her
I'd want you beautiful and pale,
The way I've dreamed you were, Johanna...

ANTHONY:
Johanna...

SWEENEY TODD:
And if you're beautiful, what then,
With yellow hair, like wheat?
I think we shall not meet again —
My little dove, my sweet Johanna...

ANTHONY:
I'll steal you, Johanna...

SWEENEY TODD:
Goodbye, Johanna.
You're gone, and yet you're mine.
I'm fine, Johanna, I'm fine!

ANTHONY:
Johanna...

BEGGAR WOMAN:
Smoke! Smoke! Sign of the devil! Sign of the devil!
City on fire!
Witch! Witch! Smell it, sir! An evil smell!
Every night at the vespers bell —
Smoke that comes from the mouth of hell —
City on fire! City on fire!
Mischief! Mischief! Mischief...

SWEENEY TODD:
And if I never hear your voice,
My turtledove, my dear,
I still have reason to rejoice:
The way ahead is clear, Johanna...

JOHANNA:
I'll marry Anthony Sunday
Anthony...Sunday...

ANTHONY:
I feel you...

SWEENEY TODD:
And in that darkness when I'm blind
With what I can't forget —

ANTHONY:
Johanna...

SWEENEY TODD:
It's always morning in my mind,
My little lamb, my pet, Johanna...

JOHANNA:
I knew you'd come for me one day...
Come for me...one day...

SWEENEY TODD/ANTHONY:
You stay, Johanna — Johanna...

SWEENEY TODD:
The way I've dreamed you are
Oh look, Johanna — a star!

ANTHONY:
Buried sweetly in your yellow hair...

SWEENEY TODD:
A shooting star!

BEGGAR WOMAN:
There! There! Somebody, somebody look up there!
Didn't I tell you? Smell that air! City on fire!
Quick, sir! Run and tell!
Warn 'em all of the witch's spell!
There it is, there it is, the unholy smell!
Tell it to the Beadle and the police as well!
Tell 'em! Tell 'em! Help! Fiend!
City on fire! City on fire!
Mischief! Mischief! Mischief...Fiend . . .
Alms...alms...for a miserable woman...

SWEENEY TODD:
And though I'll think of you, I guess, until the day I die,
I think I miss you less and less as every day goes by,
Johanna...

ANTHONY:
Johanna...

JOHANNA:
With you beside me on Sunday,
Married on...Sunday...

SWEENEY TODD:
And you'd be beautiful and pale,
And look too much like her.
If only angels could prevail,
We'd be the way we were, Johanna...
ANTHONY:
I feel you...Johanna...

JOHANNA'S VOICE:
Married on Sunday...married on Sunday ...

SWEENEY TODD:
Wake up, Johanna! Another bright red day!
We learn, Johanna, to say goodbye!

ANTHONY:
I'll steal you!

MRS. LOVETT:
(she kisses Todd)
Ooh, Mr. Todd! (kiss)
I'm so happy! (kiss)
I could (kiss)
Eat you up, I really could!
You know what I'd like to do, Mr. Todd? (kiss)
What I dream (kiss)
If the business stays as good?
Where I'd really like to go,
In a year or so?
Don't you want to know?

TODD: (spoken) Yes, yes, of course.

LOVETT: Do you really want to know?

TODD: (spoken) Yes, I do, I do.

LOVETT: (spoken) I've always had this dream...
Ever since I was a skinny little slip of a thing and my rich Aunt
Nettie used to take me down to the seaside August Bank Holiday...
The pier... Makin' little castles in the sand...
Ooh, I can still feel me toes wigglin' around in the briney!

By the sea, Mr. Todd, that's the life I covet,
By the sea, Mr. Todd, ooh, I know you'd love it!
You and me, Mr. T, we could be alone
In a house wot we'd almost own,
Down by the sea!
Wouldn't that be smashing?

TODD: Anything you say...

LOVETT:
With the sea at our gate, we'll have kippered herring
Wot have swum to us straight from the Straits of Bering!
Ev'ry night, in the kip, when we're through our kippers,
I'll be there slippin' off your slippers!
By the sea,
With the fishies splashing!
By the sea!
Wouldn't that be smashing?

TODD: Anything you say, anything you say...

LOVETT:
I can hear us wakin,'
The breakers breakin,'
The seagulls squawkin,'
'Hoo, hoo!'
I do me bakin,'
Then I go walkin'
With you-hoo!
Yoo-hoo!
I'll warm me bones on the esplanade,
Have tea and scones with me gay young blade,
Then I'll knit a sweater
While you write a letter
Unless we've got better to do-hoo!

TODD: Anything you say...

LOVETT:
Think how snug it'll be underneath our flannel
When it's just you and me and the English Channel!
In our cozy retreat kept all neat and tidy,
We'll have chums over ev'ry Friday!
By the sea!
Don'tcha love the weather?
By the sea!
We'll grow old together!
By the seaside,
Hoo, hoo!
By the beautiful sea!

(spoken)
Oh, I can see us now, in our bathing dresses!
You in a nice, rich navy, and me... stripes, perhaps.

It'll be so quiet,
That who'll come by it,
Except a seagull
Hoo, hoo!
We shouldn't try it,
Though, 'til it's legal for two-hoo!
But a seaside wedding could be devised,
Me rumpled bedding legitimized!
Me eyelids'll flutter,
I'll turn into butter,
The moment I mutter I do-hoo!

By the sea, in our nest, we could share our kippers
With the odd payin' guest from the weekend trippers,
Have a nice sunny suite for the guest to rest in,
Now and then, you could do the guest in!
By the sea,
Married nice and proper!
By the sea,
Bring along your chopper!
To the seaside,
Hoo, hoo!
By the beautiful sea!

SWEENEY (spoken):
Anthony!

ANTHONY (spoken):
Mr. Todd!
I found Johanna!
That monster of a judge has her locked away in a madhouse!

SWEENEY:
Where?

ANTHONY:
Where no one can reach her!
At Fogg's Asylum!
Oh, Mr. Todd!
She is in there with these screeching, gibbering maniacs!

SWEENEY:
A madhouse!
A madhouse?
Johanna is as good as rescued!
Where do you suppose all the wigmakers in London go to obtain their human hair?
Bedlam!
They get their hair from the lunatics at Bedlam!
For the right amount, they'll sell you any hair off any madman's head.
We'll write a note to this Mr. Fogg at the highest price for the exact shade of Johanna's!
Which I trust you know?

ANTHONY:
Yellow?

SWEENEY:
No!
That's not exact enough!
I must make you into a credible wigmaker!
And quickly, too!

SWEENEY (sung):
There's tawny, and there's golden sapphron
There's flaxon, and there's blonde!
Repeat that!

ANTHONY (sung):
Yes, Mr. Todd!
There's tawny, and there's golden sapphron
There's flaxon, and there's blonde!

SWEENEY:
Good!
There's coarse, theres straight, there's fine and curly
There's grey, there's white as ashes...

CHORUS:
Sweeney waited too long before
But never again, he swore
Fortune arrived, Sweeney had sang,
Sweeney was ready and Sweeney sprang
Sweeney's problems went up in smoke
All within a single stroke
Sweeney was sharp, Sweeney was burning
Sweeney began the end inferno
Sweeney! Sweeney! Sweeney! Sweeney!

ANTHONY:
There's finer texture, ash looks fair!
Which makes it rare, but flaxon's rare...

SWEENEY:
No, no!
The flaxon's cheaper!

ANTHONY:
Flaxon's cheaper, not rarer!

SWEENEY (spoken):
Now off with you, Anthony!
And remember, when you have rescued Johanna, bring here here!
And I will guard her while you hire the chase to Plymouth.

ANTHONY (spoken):
I will be with you before the evening's out, Mr. Todd!
Thank you,
Friend!

[Toby:]
Nothing's gonna harm you, not while I'm around.
Nothing's gonna harm you, no sir, not while I'm around.

Demons are prowling everywhere, nowadays,
I'll send 'em howling,
I don't care, I got ways.

No one's gonna hurt you,
No one's gonna dare.
Others can desert you,
Not to worry, whistle, I'll be there.

Demons'll charm you with a smile, for a while,
But in time...
Nothing can harm you
Not while I'm around...

Not to worry, not to worry
I may not be smart but I ain't dumb
I can do it, put me to it
Show me somethin' I can overcome
Not to worry, Mum

Being close and being clever
Ain't like being true
I don't need to,
I would never hide a thing from you,
Like some...

[Original Broadway Cast:]
No one's gonna hurt you, no one's gonna dare
Others can desert you,
Not to worry, whistle, I'll be there!

[Movie Version:]
[Lovett:]
Nothin's gonna harm you. Not while I'm around.
Nothing's gonna harm you, darling
Not while I'm around.

[Toby:]
Demons'll charm you with a smile, for a while
But in time...
Nothing's gonna harm you
Not while I'm around...

BEADLE:
Sweet Polly Plunkett lay in the grass,
Turned her eyes heavenward, sighing,
"I am a lass who alas loves a lad
Who alas has a lass in Canterbury.
'Tis a row dow diddle dow day,
'Tis a row dow diddle dow dee ..."

MRS. LOVETT: Oh, beadle Bamford, I didn't know you were a music lover, too.

BEADLE: Good afternoon, Mrs. Lovett. Fine instrument you've acquired.

MRS. LOVETT: Oh yes, it's my pride and joy.

BEADLE:
Sweet Polly Plunkett saw her life pass,
Flew down the city road, crying,
"I am a lass who alas loves a lad
Who alas has a lass loves another lad
Who once I had
In Canterbury.
'Tis a row dow diddle dow day,
'Tis a row dow diddle dow dee ..."

Well, ma'am, I hope you have a few moments, you see there's been complaints.

MRS LOVETT: Complaints?

BEADLE: It's about the stink from your chimney.
Just a routine inspection of course. : Ah, one of mother's favorites . ..

If one bell rings in the Tower of Bray,
Ding dong, your true love will stay.
Ding dong, one bell today
In the Tower of Bray...
Ding dong!

Anyway Ma'am, health regulations being my duty,
I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to take a look.

MRS LOVETT: At the bakehouse?

BEALDE: That's right, Ma'am.

MRS LOVETT: Oh, but it's locked you see, and I don't have the key.
Mr. Todd, he's got the key, and he's not here right now.

BEADLE: When will he be back?

MRS LOVETT: Well i couldn't say, im sure.

BEADLE: Well we'll just have to wait for him, won't we?

But if two bells ring in the Tower of Bray,
Ding dong, ding dong, your true love will stray.
Ding dong —

TOBIAS: Ding dong! Two bells today in the Tower of Bray.
Ding dong, ding dong...

BEADLE: What's that?

MRS LOVETT: Oh. oh that's just the lad what helps me with the pies.

BEADLE: Well surley he's in the bakehouse, well isn't he?

MRS LOVETT: Oh yes, yes, oh yes of course!
But you see, last week he run off and we found him 2 days later down by the
Embankment half-starved, poor thing.
So ever since then, we locks him in for his own security.
Oh! do have a try at the third bell, it always touches my heart.

BEADLE: If three bells ring in the Tower of Bray...

Since you're a fellow music lover, ma'am,
Why not raise your voice along with mine?

MRS. LOVETT: All right.

BEADLE:Ding dong!

MRS LOVETT: Ding dong!

BEALDE: Ding dong!

BOTH: Your loves gone away

BEADLE: Ding dong!

MRS LOVETT: Ding dong!

BEADLE and TOBIAS: Ding dong!

BEADLE: Three bells today!

BOTH: In the Tower of Bray.

BEADLE and TOBIAS: Ding dong, ding dong, ding dong...

BEADLE: If four bells ring in Tower of

MRS. LOVETT: How many bells are there?

BEADLE: Twelve.
Ding dong!

MRS. LOVETT:Ding dong!

TOBIAS:Ding dong!

BEADLE:Ding dong!

BEADLE, MRS. LOVETT and TOBIAS:
Then lovers must pray! ...

BEADLE: Ding dong!

MRS LOVETT: Ding dong!

TOBIAS: Ding dong!

BEADLE: Ding dong!

BEADLE and TOBIAS: Four bells today, in the Tower of Bray.

ALL: Ding dong, ding dong, ding dong

BEADLE and TOBIAS: Ding dong!

JUDGE:
(spoken)
Where is she? Where is the girl?

TODD:
(spoken)
Down below, your honor,
With my neighbor, Mrs. Lovett.
Thank heaven, the sailor
Did not molest her
Thank heaven too,
She has seen the error of her ways

JUDGE:
(spoken)
She has?

TODD:
(spoken)
Oh yes, sir... she speaks only of you.
Longing for forgiveness

JUDGE:
(spoken)
And she shall have it!
(sung)
Pretty women

TODD:
(sung)
Pretty women, yes

JUDGE:
(spoken)
Quickly sir, a splash of bayrum

TODD:
(spoken)
Sit sir, sit

JUDGE:
(sung)
Johanna, Johanna

TODD:
(sung)
Pretty women, pretty women
Are a wonder

JUDGE:
(spoken simultaneously)
Quickly man! You are in merry mood again, today, barber!

TODD:
(sung)
Pretty women

JUDGE/TODD:
(sung)
What we do for pretty women
(simultaneously)
Blowing out their candles or
(Blowing out their candles, oh!)
Combing out their hair,
Combing out their hair, and they-)
Even when they leave
(Even when they leave you and vanish)
They still are there.
(They somehow can still remain there)
They're there

JUDGE:
(spoken)
How seldom it is,
One meets a fellow spirit

TODD:
(spoken)
With fellow tastes...
In women, at least

JUDGE:
(spoken)
What?! What's that?!

TODD:
(spoken)
No doubt, the years have changed me
But then, I suppose,
The face of a barber, the face
Of a prisoner in the dark
Is hardly memorable

JUDGE:
(shouted)
Beenjamin Barker?!

TODD:
(shouted)
Benjamin Barker!
(sung)
Rest now, my friends
Rest now forever
Sleep now, the untroubled sleep
Of the angels--

MRS. LOVETT
(shouted from of stage)
DIE! DIE! GOD IN HEAVEN, DIE!

(quick "Ballad Of Sweeney Todd" reprise)

MRS. LOVETT:
(spoken)
Can it be?
Have all the demons in Hell
Come to torment me?

TODD:
(spoken)
Why did you scream?
Does the judge still live?!

MRS. LOVETT:
No! Don't touch her!

TODD:
What are you talking about?
It's just some mental, old
Beggar woman--
Oh no...Oh God!
"Don't I know you," she said..
You knew..
From the moment I walked into your shop
You knew my Lucy lived..

MRS. LOVETT:
I was only thinking of you..
Your Lucy, a crazy hag
Picking bones and rotten spuds
Out of alley ash cans!
Would you have wanted to know
That was all that was left of her?

TODD:
(muttered)
You lied to me..

MRS. LOVETT:
(simulataneously with TODD)
No, no, not lied at all
No, I never lied, said she
Took a poison, she did
Never said that she died
Poor thing, but it left her weak in
Her head, all she did for weeks
Was just lie there in bed
Should've been in hospital,
Wound up in bedlam, instead
Poor thing, better you to think
She was dead, yes,
I lied, 'cause I love you
I'd be twice the wive she was!
I love you!

TODD:
Lucy, I've come home again
Lucy, oh my God!
(then)
TODD:
(sung)
Mrs. Lovett, you're a bloody wonder
Eminently practical, and yet
Appropriate as always
As you've said, repeatedly,
There's little point in
Dwelling on the past
(now simulatneously with MRS. LOVETT)
Now come here, my love
Nothing left to fear my love
What's dead, is dead

MRS. LOVETT:
Do you mean it?
Everything I did, I swear,
I thought was only for the best
Believe me, can we,
Still be, married?

TODD:
(sung simulataneously with MRS. LOVETT)
The history of the world, my pet
Is learn forgiveness, and try
To forget
And life is for the alive, my dear
So let's keep living it,
Just keep living it
Really living it!

MRS. LOVETT
Oh Mr. Todd, ooh Mr. Todd,
Leave it to me
Dont you see, Mr. Todd,
We'll be comfy cozy, you and me
Mr. Todd, where there's no one nosey
Just keep living it,
Really living it--

TODD:
(sung, holding back tears)
There was a barber and his wife,
And she was beautiful
A foolish barbr and his wife,
She was his reason and his life
And she was beautiful,
And she was virtuous,
And he was, naive

TOBIAS:
(sung)
Patty cake, patty cake
Baker's man,
Bake me a cake..no, no..
Bake me a pie, to delight my eye..
(spoken)
Mr. Todd? Oh..
Where's the old woman?
You've harmed her too, have you?
You shouldn't, you know?
You shouldn't harm nobody..
Oh, razor, razor
Cut-a, cut-a, cut-a, cut-a
(sung)
Bat him, and prick him,
And mark him with a "B"
And put him in the oven for baby
And me
(kills Todd)

COMPANY (Variously):
The engine roared, the motor hissed,
And who could see how the road would twist?
In Sweeney's ledger the entries matched:
A beadle arrived, and a beadle dispatched
To satisfy the hungry god
Of Sweeney TODD,
ALL:
The Demon Barber of Fleet. ..
Street.
Sweeney! Sweeney!
Sweeney! Sweeney! Sweeney!
Sweeney!
Sweeeeeneeeeey!

INMATES
Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeneeeeeeeeeeeeey...
Sweeneysweeneysweeneysweeney. ..


LUNATICS (In three contrapuntal groups):
City on fire!
Rats in the grass
And the lunatics yelling in the streets!
It's the end of the world! Yes!
City on fire!
Hunchbacks dancing!
Stirrings in the ground
And the whirring of giant wings!
Watch out!
Look!
Blotting out the moonlight,
Thick black rain falling on the
City on fire!
City on fire!
City on fire!
(
JOHANNA:
Will we be married on Sunday?
That's what you promised,
Married on Sunday!
That was last August.. .
Kiss me!

LUNATICS:
City on fire!
Rats in the streets
And the lunatics yelling at the moon!
It's the end of the world! Yes!
City on fire!
Hunchbacks kissing!
Stirrings in the graves
And the screaming of giant winds!
Watch out! Look!
Crawling on the chimneys,
Great black crows screeching at the
City on fire!
City on fire!
City on fire!

MRS. LOVETT:
Toby!
Where are you, love?

TODD:
Toby!
Where are you, lad?

MRS. LOVETT:
Nothing's gonna harm you . . .

TODD:
Toby!

MRS. LOVETT:
Not while I'm around ...

TODD :
Toby!

MRS. LOVETT:
Where are you hiding?
Nothing's gonna harm you,
Darling . . .

TODD:
Nothing to be afraid of, boy...

MRS. LOVETT:
Not while I'm around.

TODD:
Toby...

MRS. LOVETT :
Demons are prowling everywhere
Nowadays ...

TODD:
Toby...

LUNATICS:
City on fire!
Rats in the streets
And the lunatics yelling at the moon!
It's the end of the world! Yes!

BEGGAR WOMAN:
Beadle! ... Beadle! . . .
No good hiding, I saw you!
Are you in there still,
Beadle? ... Beadle? ...
Get her, but watch it!
She's a wicked one, she'll deceive you
With her fancy gowns
And her fancy airs
And her —

Mischief! Mischief!
Devil's work!

Where are you, Beadle?
Beadle ...

LUNATICS:
City on fire!
Rats in the streets
And the lunatics yelling at the moon!
It's the end of the world! Good!
City on fire!
Hunchbacks kissing!
Stirrings in the graves
And the screaming of giant winds!
Watch out! Look!
Crawling on the chimneys,
Great black crows screeching at the
City on fire! . ..

ANTHONY: Mr. TODD?

JOHANNA: No one here. Where is this Mr. TODD?

ANTHONY:
No matter. He'll be back in a moment, for I trust him as I trust my right arm.
Wait for him here — I'll return with the coach in less than half an hour.

JOHANNA: But they are after us still. What if they trace us here?
Oh, Anthony, please let me come with you.

ANTHONY: No, my darling, there is no safety for you on the street.

JOHANNA: But dressed in these sailor's clothes, who's to know it is I?

ANTHONY: No, the risk is too great.
Ah, miss,
Look at me, look at me, miss, oh,
Look at me please, oh,
Favor me, favor me with your glance.
Ah, miss,
Soon we'll be, soon we'll be gone
And sailing the seas
And happily, happily wed
In France.

Both:
And we'll sail the world
And see its wonders
From the pearls of Spain
To the rubies of Tibet—
ANTHONY.
And then come home to
London.

JOHANNA:
And then home.
Some day. Some day.

ANTHONY: And I'll be back before those lips have time to lose that smile.

BEGGAR WOMAN:
Beadle! ...
Beadle!
Where are you?
Beadle, dear!
Beadle!

JOHANNA: Someone calling the beadle! I knew it!
BEGGAR WOMAN:
Beadle deedle deedle deedle deedle dumpling,
Beadle dumpling, Be-deedle dumpling . ..
And why should you weep then, my jo, my jing?
Ohh . . .
Your father's at tea with the Swedish king.
He'll bring you the moon on a silver string.
Ohh .. .
Ohh ...
Quickly to sleep then, my jo, my jing,
He'll bring you a shoe and a wedding ring.
Sing here again, home again,
Come again spring.
He'll be coming soon now
To kiss you, my jo, my jing,
Bringing you the moon
And a shoe and a wedding ring.
He'll be coming here again,
Home again . . .

TODD: You! What are you doing here?

BEGGAR WOMAN: Ah, evil is here, sir.
The stink of evil — from below — from her! Beadle dear, beadle!

TODD: Out of here, woman.

BEGGAR WOMAN: She's the Devil's wife! Oh, beware her, sir. Beware of her.
She with no pity in her heart.

TODD: Out, I say!

BEGGAR WOMAN:
Hey, don't I know you, mister?

TODD: The Judge. I have no time.

JUDGE: Where is she? Where is the girl?

TODD: Below, your Honor. In the care of my neighbor, Mrs. Lovett.
Thank heavens the sailor did not molest her.
Thank heavens too, she has seen the error of her ways.

JUDGE: She has?

TODD: Oh yes, your lesson was well learned, sir.
She speaks only of you, longing for forgiveness.

JUDGE: And she shall have it. She'll be here soon, you say?

TODD:
I think I hear her now.

JUDGE: Oh, excellent, my friend!

TODD:
Is that her dainty footstep on the stair?
JUDGE: I hear nothing.

TODD:
Yes, isn't that her shadow on the wall?

JUDGE: Where?
TODD: There!
Primping,
Making herself even prettier than usual —

JUDGE:
Even prettier ...

TODD:
If possible.

JUDGE:
Ohhhhhhh,
Pretty women!

TODD:
Pretty women, yes ...
JUDGE: Quickly, sir, a splash of bay rum!
TODD: Sit, sir, sit.

JUDGE:
JOHANNA,JOHANNA.. .

TODD:
Pretty women . . .

JUDGE: Hurry, man!

TODD:
Pretty women
Are a wonder . . .

JUDGE: You're in a merry mood again today, barber.

TODD:
Pretty women!

JUDGE:
What we do for

TODD:
Pretty women! Pretty women!
Blowing out their candles Blowing out their candles
Or combing out their hair — Or combing out their hair,
Then they leave —
Even when they leave you Even when they leave,
And vanish, they somehow They still
Can still remain Are there,
There with you there ... They're there . ..

JUDGE: How seldom it is one meets a fellow spirit!
TODD: With fellow tastes — in women, at least.

JUDGE: What? What's that?

TODD: The years no doubt have changed me, sir.
But then, I suppose, the face of a barber — the face of a prisoner in the
Dock — is not particularly memorable.
JUDGE:
Benjamin Barker!

TODD:
Rest now, my friend,
Rest now forever.
Sleep now the untroubled
Sleep of the angels ...

COMPANY:
Lift your razor high, Sweeney!
Hear it singing, "Yes!"
Sink it in the rosy skin
Of righteousness!

MRS. LOVETT: Die! Die! God in heaven — die! You! Can it be?
How all the demons of Hell come to torment me!

TODD: Why did you scream? Does the JUDGE still live?

MRS. LOVETT: He was clutching, holding on to my skirt, but now — he's finished.

TODD: Leave them to me. Open the doors.

MRS. LOVETT: No! Don't touch her!
TODD: What is the matter with you?
It's only some meddling old beggar - Oh no, Oh God..."Don't I know you?" she said...
You knew she lived.
From the first moment that I walked into your shop you knew my Lucy lived!

MRS. LOVETT: I was only thinking of you!
TODD:
Lucy. . .

MRS. LOVETT: Your Lucy!
A crazy hag picking bones and rotten spuds out of alley ash-cans!
Would you have wanted to know that was all that was left of her?

TODD: You lied to me.

MRS. LOVETT:
No, no, not lied at all.
No, I never lied.

TODD:
Lucy...

MRS. LOVETT:
Said she took the poison — she did —
Never said that she died —
Poor thing,
She lived —

TODD:
I've come home again . . .

MRS. LOVETT:
But it left her weak in the head,
All she did for months was just lie there in bed —
TODD:
Lucy. . .

MRS. LOVETT:
Should've been in hospital,
Wound up in Bedlam instead,
Poor thing!
TODD:
Oh, my God . . .

MRS. LOVETT:
Better you should think she was dead.
Yes, I lied 'cos I love you!
TODD:
Lucy...

MRS. LOVETT:
I'd be twice the wife she was!
I love you!

TODD:
What have I done?...

MRS. LOVETT:
Could that thing have cared for you
Like me?

TODD:
Mrs. Lovett,
You're a bloody wonder,
Eminently practical and yet
Appropriate as always.
As you've said repeatedly,
There's little point in dwelling on the past.

MRS. LOVETT:
Do you mean it?
Everything I did I swear
I thought
Was only for the best,
Believe me!
Can we still be
Married?
No, come here, my love ..
Not a thing to fear,
My love . . .
What's dead
Is dead.

TODD:
The history of the world, my pet —

MRS. LOVETT:
Oh, Mr. Todd,
Ooh, Mr. Todd,
Leave it to me .. .

TODD:
Is learn forgiveness and try to forget.

MRS. LOVETT:
By the sea, Mr. Todd,
We'll be comfy-cozy,
By the sea, Mr. Todd,
Where there's no one nosy ...

TODD:
And life is for the alive, my dear,
So let's keep living it — !

BOTH:
Just keep living it,
Really living it — !

TODD:
There was a barber and his wife,
And she was beautiful.
A foolish barber and his wife,
She was his reason and his life.
And she was beautiful.
And she was virtuous.
And he was —

Naive.

TOBIAS:
Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, baker man.
Bake me a cake —
No,no,
Bake me a pie —
To delight my eye,
And I will sigh
If the crust be high ...

Mr. TODD.

Pat him and prick him and mark him with B, and put him in the oven for baby and me!