Nashville Phil - Male Mail Order Bride Lyrics

I had a date with a dark-eyed beauty
Boy did she ring my bell
A pretty mouth real clever at kissing
And pretty good at plenty else as well
I was easy game for her fine brown frame
As she backed me up against a wall
Kinda 'fraid to mention I was standing to attention
When I realised she weren't a dame at all
Fer shame fer shame she ain't a dame
Boy did she take me for a ride
Now I'm getting email from a she-male
She's a male mail order bride

Now I'm a broad-minded kind o' guy
But the kinda broad I have in mind
Is devoid of anatomical features
That a feller don't expect to find
I love the hair - I love the derriere
I love the shapely hips 'n thighs
But when lights are low I prefer to know
I ain't about to be unpleasantly surprised
Fer shame fer shame she ain't a dame
Boy did she take me for a ride
Now I'm getting email from a she-male
She's a male mail order bride

Truth to tell I was crazy with myself
On account of being so easily deceived
I took refuge in the bottle
But I couldn't drink away the memory
When I finally read the words she wrote to me
I began to reappraise my point of view
She's just another lonely soul in need of loving
I can't hate her like I think I ought to do
Fer shame fer shame she ain't a dame
Boy did she take me for a ride
Now I'm getting email from a she-male
She's a male mail order bride