Nashville Phil - Oyster Dancin' Show Lyrics

I'm an old seafaring feller
A mariner and matelot
I've been in every bar and burly Q along the Gulf of Mexico
But in Yucatan is where it all began in the port of Progreso
That's where I became a devotee of the Oyster Dancing Show

Well she walked on stage buck naked
What a way to say hello
She held an oyster in an open shell and she poured it in her mouth real slow
With the saxophone a wailing she leaned back and with a hell of a blow
Shot the oyster two feet in the air and caught it on her belly-o

You might have seen all kind of dancing
The two step doh see doh
The bump and grind - the dutty wine and plenty more that I don't know
You can search the whole world over but you'd still have far to go
Until you get to see what I saw at the
Oyster Dancing Show

Well that oyster left a trail of brine
As it slid towards the floor
Across her hip and thigh - damn my eye never saw such a thing before
And all the while she was gyrating until at last with a flick of her toe
She flipped the oyster on her embonpoint and got it sliding down some more

You might have seen all kind of dancing
The two step doh see doh
The bump and grind - the dutty wine and plenty more that I don't know
You can search the whole world over but you'd still have far to go
Until you get to see what I saw at the
Oyster Dancing Show

While that oyster kissed her body
The time went by so slow
Every inch of skin was glistening I was sweating in the second row
Then she laid her down and raised her leg
With the oyster on her pointed toe
And the spotlight followed that baby all the way to the valley below

You might have seen all kind of dancing
The two step doh see doh
The bump and grind - the dutty wine and plenty more that I don't know
You can search the whole world over but you'd still have far to go
Until you get to see what I saw at the
Oyster Dancing Show