They call me Big Tommy but my name is Joe
I'll eat your ass like a rump roast
Had a garage sale where I sold my bones
You can catch me at the supermarket throwing stones
I got plumes of fumes comin' outta my room
Chillin' at the studio chompin' on a shroom
Bass in hand like a bucket and a broom
I went to a wedding and I stole the groom
I catch my wife watching cartoons
While my daughter's on the news
My neighbor burns his paper
And my son ain't got no shoes
Big Tommy's comin' round
And he'll want you to know
He's got a big f*ckin' mouth
But his name is Joe
I had a cigarette for breakfast and a pen in my hand
Nietzsche's getting boring for the present of man
When your last tree is felled and your world's gone to hell
I'll be heading to Vegas because I just love that smell
I'm sure I would vote if I just have the time
So I play my tithes on the Fourth of July
When I was nine I relinquished my mind
Now I'm takin' it back to correct my spine
I catch my wife watching cartoons
While my daughter's on the news
My neighbor burns his paper
And my son ain't got no shoes
Big Tommy's comin' round
And he'll want you to know
He's got a big f*ckin' mouth
But his name is Joe