[ Featuring Nino Morro ]
VO:
Saturday night saw the return of the popular Got Talent auditions, with 26-year-old Jaxon, the scarecrow. Yes, viewers, you did hear that right! A scarecrow.
Good luck!
BRIAN:
It s not exactly busy; they re not queuing out the door, are they?
JUDGE:
(From the television)
So who are you, and what are you going to sing for us today?
JAXON:
Yeah, I m Jaxon
COUPLE 1 FEMALE:
Do you think he s going to be any good?
COUPLE 1 MALE:
Don t think so.
(Squeaky mic, and audience laughter as Jaxon apologises)
COUPLE 1 FEMALE:
(Laughing)
Look at the judges faces as well!
(JAXON talking in the background: So I m going to sing Love Never Fades .
JUDGE: Wow! Tough song. When you re ready .
(Singing) You never told me
JUDGE and JAXON still talking in the background)
COUPLE 1 FEMALE:
Woah!
BRIAN:
You know, I actually envy his self-belief.
COUPLE 1 MALE:
(JAXON out of tune in the background)
Oh no!
(Laughter)
COUPLE 1 FEMALE:
He thinks he s great!
COUPLE 1 MALE:
They re thinking this is great TV; this is going to be amazing.
BRIAN:
Is he gonna keep going until they turn him off?
COUPLE 1 MALE:
He s a terrible singer, but he s entertaining.
(Audience laughter as JUDGE stops JAXON singing and JAXON reveals he is a scarecrow)
There s no doubt about that
COUPLE 1 FEMALE:
Amazing!
(Audience laughter as JAXON tries to defend his audition)
Yeah, but how sad. Like, he just thinks he s great.
BRIAN:
You know what? Fair, fair play to him for trying.
COUPLE 1 FEMALE:
(Laughter)
Sounds like you!
[Music bed]
VO:
Well, that went well! Later that evening the Prime Minister gave an update on the highly controversial space mission. Yes, I can already see Brian getting angry on this one!
[Background TV report on space mission]
COUPLE 2 FEMALE:
His hair is a lot nicer.
COUPLE 2 MALE:
His hair is awful.
COUPLE 2 FEMALE:
Well, it s better now.
[Prime minister speaking in background]
COUPLE 2 FEMALE:
Wow, he s actually brushed his hair though. Look at that!
BRIAN:
Oh, I m going to get very cross very quickly now, aren t I?
VO:
Oh, there he goes!
BRIAN:
It pretty much is reality TV by this point, in t it? I d actually vote to keep them in the jungle. We don t want them back. Keep em. Keep em all.
COUPLE 2 MALE:
I ve no idea what he s talking about there. Not sure what he s referring to.
COUPLE 2 FEMALE:
Well, he s trying to convince people to support him.
COUPLE 1 FEMALE:
He does have a beautiful speaking voice, though, I will stay true to that fact.
COUPLE 1 MALE:
That s where the finer qualities end, though.
COUPLE 1 FEMALE:
Yeah, that s it.
BRIAN:
Now he s going on about space. I mean, first things first. I mean, going into space is a nice idea, but don t you think we ve got enough problems down here to sort out first? I mean, once you ve sorted all that out first, then you can go jollying off into space. Then we go and ruin all that as well.
COUPLE 1 FEMALE:
Oh, my days, it goes on
(Laughter)
You having a great time, Chris?
COUPLE 2 MALE:
No!
[Prime minister still talking as fades out]