OA - Reflections (feat. Molly Jenson) Lyrics

Take a couple of pills just to fade out
I don't wanna be around no more
Everybody was telling me that it's my fault
If that's the case than what am I even here for
Maybe it'd be better if I was gone
Maybe nobody would even notice
Or maybe I am just a product of
Everybody around me that
Told me I'd never get through this
But what if they lied to me
What if I'm not all alone
What if the reason I'm breathing
Is cause I am more than feelings I own
Homie this is real life
Ain't a act for the cameras
Devil in my head tryna take my life
And then make me believe that it's glamorous
So who do you think that you are
Telling me I am to blame
I'm tired of walking around with my head hanging low
Tryna constantly bottle the shame
I'm trying to change
I need your compassion right now
I don't need you giving me grief
Just because I handle hardship a little bit
Different don't mean that I'm weak

I didn't choose this place
But I ain't gonna run away
I'm gonna stand right here
And show you, who I am

Yeah, I struggle with depression
That ain't nothing to be ashamed of
Sometimes it's hard
And I just feel so lonely, unworthy and honestly unloved
It's more than just feeling sad
It's more than just being mad
It's not like I wake up and choose that
I wanna be stuck in this relapse
I try to be positive, telling myself that today will be different
But sometimes I can't, so I crawl in my bed with the
Lights off and block out the world that I'm missing
Don't tell me that this is just all in my head
Cause I swear on my life if you say that again
I might fly off the handle and say something stupid
Don't act like you know where I been
I'm tired of playing pretend
I'm done with the make believe
From now on I am who I am, I'm not scared
Of just wearing my heart on my sleeve
I don't need approval from you
My life isn't up for debate
I wasted too much of my life tryna prove I was loved
But I'm done with the hate
I'm done with the hate

I didn't choose this place
But I ain't gonna run away
I'm gonna stand right here
And show you, who I am

Sometimes I can't even look at myself
Cause I hate who I see in the mirror
My reflection is nothing but all the regrets
And a life paralyzed by the fear
On the other hand sometimes I love
What I see, so I use it to grow and evolve
Hoping that one day the fake it to make it
Will turn into honest resolve
But what if it don't?
What if I come to the end of my rope
What if I get to the point where I can't
Turn around and I lose any semblence of hope
That's when I turn to the sky
Praying he gives me the strength to survive
Sometimes that's all I can do when I'm
Tired and broken, please Father just keep me alive
Just keep me alive

I didn't choose this place
But I ain't gonna run away
I'm gonna stand right here
And show you, who I am
I didn't choose this place
But I ain't gonna run away
I'm not ashamed to say that
This is, who I am