Paul Cafcae - You Cannot Get to Heaven Lyrics

You cannot get to heaven in your Beamer
No matter how much gas you put inside
It's a rocky road to hell and you'll get there pretty well
In that wretched motherf*cker that you drive

You'll never go to heaven in your Tesla
You'll never see the gates of paradise
Ask a simple question if you wanna change your soul's direction
Ask yourself now what would Jesus drive

Damnation and salvation are your choices
There's the things you oughtn't do and those you ought
On that judgement day ol' St. Peter ain't no valet
And you'll never ever find a parking spot

You'll never get to heaven on your Harley
You'll never outrun an angel's wing
The archangels come for you and you know just what they'll do
To that belching hog beneath your ding-a-ling

Heaven's joy is given through repentance
Eternal life is your incentive and reward
Be like St. Augustin and trade that sucker in
Or burn in hell just like ol' Henry Ford

There's no place in the garden for your Lambo
Your bull will just infuriate our Lord.
There will be no cherubim blessing you and your slipstream
Instead you'll be eluding Satan's horde.

And you won't get any closer in your rocket
Despite the fact it glorifies your schlong
Pray so loud that he can hear, Armageddon day is near
And up in smoke forever you'll be gone