peak experience - expiry Lyrics

I'm not coming home
Dissociated soul where I belong
Theres no way out this misery
Down this path I've been following
Wake up suicide calling
Sorry for leaving all this carnage
Been a long time since I felt hope
Been a long time since I felt happy
Everyday misery is my new home
I just put a expiry date on my soul
My bro said its hell on earth spell it HOE
I'm a messed up guy I gotta fill that role
If a had a gun I would blow a big hole
Through my f*cking skull
I'll never see a way out
I dont wanna seek help
I want total isolation
I just wanna dissolve
I'm looking for a new god
I just need a way out
I feel like a dog
I just follow my instinct to survive
My instinct is to die
Some things are telling me otherwise
I try to fight this evil fight
Its a sick illness in my mind
I dont even wanna win, no lie
I'd rather lose this fight
Just gotta keep going for a while
Sceptical but things could turn around