That Something Video (MV)

And I just want something
But I don't know what
But I need that something

When I realize the crisis
I forget that I exist
Ego left behind
And I Find that I'm blind I can't
Help but despise
All the pain that I hide
I'm bleeding from within me
And all that was is empty
I don't control the animal
That feeds inside deep in my soul
My inner child has died inside
My firewall is compromised
Music makes me human
But my soul is solely useless
Try to find my truthful mind
And that is how I'll prove this

There is no solution
Problem is I'm only human
Breed my fears and then consume them
Ruminate and choose to lose them
I am not the pieces of myself I've left behind
I am not the beating heart of my own fragile mind
I am only everything I choose to keep within me
Built myself on practice because promises are empty
Threw away my goals, okay, but I tried to keep the rest
Still, filled to the brim with stress, I find my mind completely useless
Throwing over everything to keep the ship afloat
Redefining what it is that I'll do and what I won't
Try to keep from spiraling and hang on to some hope
But these walls are closing in and I don't know how to cope
I don't need need your discomfort
No I don't want your despair
I don't need reassurances
That anybody cares
I built this life with my own hands
And I just need some rest
I'm choking on these ashes and I
Cannot take a breath

Then I close my eyes to hide inside
Take comfort in the thought I tried
Kill my ego like deicide
And slip between the cracks
I'm wavering in my existence
Rebelling against resistance
Ground myself inside this instance
Never going back
To how I saw with gilded eyes
All lies that try to hypnotize
Am I too blind to realize
That this is my attack
On everything that built me up
And made me who I am I have to
Redefine internalize
And then begin again
I will not take those easy roads
Or carry all those heavy loads
Or bury in these metaphors
What it is I I'm living for
I will not trade for fame and fortune
Pain and suffering
I don't know what I need
But I need that something