I wash over an ocean with my fears
I feel one day I might lose my mind
And never return
Am I just a feel
Inside a world that's tearing itself apart?
At least that's what they tell us everyday
I think the age of skepticism in my heart is coming to an end
I see the writing on the wall and I begin to run again
The callouses inside the back of my throat at times don't reflect what I feel
But I've said these words a thousand time
All I want is the emotion inside my soul to burn real forever more
The dopamine inside my head to carry me
I've done a thousand things inside this world that don't even matter in the grand scheme of time
Where will I wait for you?
I'm preparing myself to love again
I'm preparing myself to stand tall
I hear the echoes of the sleep I haven't had in a hundred years
I hear the dream that my father had when he gave up his soul
People say soul I feel like I'm beginning to grasp what they mean
A soul is not a soul unless you give it everything inside yourself
At times it burns forever inside the part of yourself
The words inside your tongue don't match mine anymore
But I still feel like a part of me loves you
Time between the time I said I love you for the last time
That time and now
I wish it would close for good
And I could tell I still love you
But I don't know how
A thousand miles apart
I told you I would carry you to the end
Now it's your turn to carry me my friend
Weight of the world
And the waiting for the answers
To the questions I ask everyday
"Is the pain in my throat truly worth everything
I have yet to even say?"
"Is my soul dammed just for f*cking being born here?"
Am I to be destroyed and cast the flames of eternity just for being brought here?"
Once you know what life is how can you ever not know?
Once you know the darkness in your mind the fear of letting somebody
Close to you know that you still feel everything
Inside three words or less
There's no time to speak anymore
You promised me a father and the son
A collection of ideas is gone
Where is love at?
Inside my heart
I'm lost in my own world
And when I say my own world
I'm referring to the one we both stand in
We are both apart of this world
No one's separate from within
Don't you see who we are?
Don't you see who you are?
Don't you remember the love inside your heart you let it die
Away without any recourse
You thought the consequence of running into the words
I say at times my mind slowly expands
It creeps upon the universe in you
I'm looking for answers that don't revolve any part of you
I let my words slip out like water falls out of
The glaciers in the north
One day the words will reach a melting point
And wash everything inside your heart
The cancer so far from these shores
Stay away from me I'm not yours
I am myself
I am alive and aware
I am resilient to the cancer inside of my throat
One day you might tell them I overdosed
"the power within him grew too strong"
Well maybe you were wrong
Maybe I am terrified of what
You might say I approach for the very first time
And I tell you there is no worries
Will you believe me this time?
If I expunge my soul and throw it across a fire for you
Will you blame me for the things I've done or will you look around you and see that
I am not the source of deception and insanity of this world anymore
I was born to continue this cycle
The psychosis of controlling every body on this earth but I am terrified that even down this path I'm doing now I'm doing everything I was told to do
Is this just another form of controlling me and you?
I don't know if I could ever answer anything at all
I'm terrified the world will crush upon with
The jackboots and the guns
And take me
And they'll throw me in a prison
And never let me see the sun again
Will I be in line for the incinerators or will I be the operator
I don't know
Tell me where I need to go
The love inside in my heart it terrifies every part of my being
The rawness of my heart at times
It rips apart every sense I've felt inside my dreams
And I want to know the water that I drink inside my home
Won't f*cking kill me
Slowly
There's so many echoes of fear on the walls
Of this world
We are raised in
Don't do this
Don't do that
Don't do this
Don't do that
Don't do this
Don't do that
Well the fear of the shadow
Is casting farther than it should have ever gone
And now it's starting
To define itself
Manifest itself
There is a chord in my heart that ripples out my life
The discord of my life
When I find
What I am
In my heart
When I find you
When I've gone inside of my mind
I will feel again
Fear is gone again
I will cast a f*cking light of the sound
Of the fire In my heart as it burns forevermore
Forevermore
Follow me down
Follow me down
Or destroy me
Or destroy me
Follow my heart as I explode
And wash me Inside my heart
If you want a saviour
Go look to yourself
Carry the load
Carry the load
We cannot do this forever on our own
I need your help again
In whatever way you need
Just smile at me
Say hello
Tell me everything will be alright
If we just stay alive till tomorrow
Tell me today is a lie
I have to fight
One day I know I will wake up right next to you
And say
"Well that was quite a quick ride"
I'm ready for the rest of time
I'm ready to live my life
In your warmth you carry so close to your heart
You won't ever need me anymore but the things we say
Will burn and burn
And there will be no fear
Can you decipher that I want more
Than what we have now
It is not enough to raise our children
I don't even want my son to be apart of this world yet
I want to feel like there is more to life but there is more to me quite
Quite yet
There is a little inside of my soul
That must be purged by you
My fear
My terror
Isn't ambiguous
I've been on this pathway for some time
I chose love long ago
But I still hear the shadows
Mother
And father
I know you are proud
When I become in the face of my own doubt
You sent alone for now
One day you will stand on my shoulders once more
Until that day we become
A family
We all run to the edge of time
We don't tell those who
Want to find life
Is slowly burning away without them
I know the things I say in time
Are everything that must be said this time
The journey that I roll on isn't my own
I know I know
I know I know
What I'm talking about
The insanity that falls out of my mouth
I can not stop now
But still you feel the tongue
Inside my lungs is done now