Ray Stevens - Power Tools Lyrics

Well some folks say that grown up men are still jus' little boys,
and that really the only difference is the price of our toys.
We go for macho symbols, like guns and running shoes,
pickup trucks, huntin' ducks, and *vvrrmmm* power tools.

...Power tools (power tools)
Power tools (power tools)
Yeah just put 'em in the wall and think of all you can do.
You can plant a garden, fix your car, build a house if you want to,
If you've got the proper power tools!

__SPOKEN__

Hello emergency room, Yeah I just fired up my new gas powered weed wacker there and some how another it got caught in the
hammer loop of my big smith over-alls yeah before I get 'er set down she plumb screwed me 'bout three foot into the front
lawn there. Yeah. My wife hollered out the front door 'Hey shorty! While you're down there, how about checkin' the fescue for
aphids?'

Hrmp. She's a real comedian, that one. Hardy har har.

__END SPOKEN__

Well some folks say that macho men use tools to compensate,
for a decline in verility. Now I thought about that and wait!
There may be some validity in what those people say.
But in my case it's just the only way I get to go outside and play

__SPOKEN__

*UHDNNN UHDNNN VRROOOM VRROOOM* Boy I love this stuff!

__END SPOKEN___

Power tools (power tools)
Power tools (power tools)
Oooh just put 'em in the wall and think of all you can do,
you can plant a garden, fix your car, build a house if you want to,
If you've got the proper power tools!

__SPOKEN__

Hello 911!? I was jus' in the garden there trying out my new direct drive roto-tiller, when the raw-hide lace from my
red-goose work shoe somehow or another got tangled in that outboard tiller tie. Yeah before I could get 'er shut down she'd
plum drug me clean across the lawn up underneath my neighbor's Toyota 4x4. Wife hollered out the door, 'Hey Shorty!' (funny
how a name'll stick wid you like dat) Said, 'Hey shorty, if you're gonna play Mr Goodwrench, looks like you'd fix our old
gilape first!'

I tell ya that woman's a regular Roseann Barr.

__END SPOKEN__

Well 911 Rescued me carried me away to the local hospital for at least a two week stay. Dr said I hope you leanred your
lesson, thanks to power tools, you're nearly dead; I didn't hear a word he said I's playing with my power-bed. *Uhnnnnn*

Power tools (power tools)
Power tools (power tools)

__SPOKEN__

Hello Nurses Station!? Could you please send somebody to room 403? QUICK! Yeah my power-bed's stuck in the up position, I'm
folded up in here like a big taco!

__END SPOKEN__

(Power Tools) Yeah if you've got the proper power tools.

__SPOKEN__

Hello Honey, don't be alarmed, just quietly evacuate the neighborhood an call the bomb-squad.

__END SPOKEN__

(FADE OUT)