[ Featuring Louden ]
I just feel so broken
This situation left me wide open
It's been a couple months and we ain't spoken
No drama in my life
Now I am so focused
For years I felt so hopeless
I used to doubt my gifts
I used to blame myself
Wonder why i's never enough
I couldn't ask for help
Cuz if I told my friends all of the things you did
They'd probably tell me to never speak to you again
I refused to see what was in front of me
And I forgive you for everything you've done to me
Cuz I know you got problems, you got issues
And I ain't gon be there anymore to fix you
I'm not a punching bag
I'm a person with emotions
I'm a beautiful inspirational, giving soul
So, listen
I don't need that apology I'm never gonna get
But honestly, I'm filled with regret
They say it gets better & I know it does
After years of abuse, now I know it ain't love
Cuz love don't hurt
Love ain't a weapon
Love don't hate
And love don't love sections
Love don't lie
Love don't humiliate
Excited for the future, but it's still today
And I can't even breathe cuz I'm crying
You watch me bleed as I'm dying
You punish me with the silence
F*ck it, imma let it out in my writing
I'm so scared of you when I think bout all the things you do
Love hurts- learned that in my childhood
So, you were the perfect match
I don't know you, don't know if I ever did
You don't even know yourself
Man, who am I kidding
You made me sick
Dealing with the same f*cken shit
You drove me crazy
You wanna destroy me
Promise me you're changing
But you ain't do shit for me
You're a liar
You're a faker
I despise you
You're a hater
Remember you screaming in my face
Remember when you called me names
Remember when I packed your shit
Remember when I kicked you out our place
I pity you
I feel sorry for you
I hope you find your peace
And grow the strength to flatten out your demons
This rock bottom
Been here for so long- I forgot it
I forgot my worth
I forgot my soul
I forgot I'm special
I forgot I'm gold
I'm not in love with you anymore
I don't feel like I did before
You'll never know what this like
And that's the funny thing about life
Sometimes you don't get to see the karma come back
But she's coming for you, baby
That's a known fact
You control me, don't want me to be free
Every time I'd make a friend- you'd come in between things
You ain't happy for my success
You don't celebrate when I win
Honestly, I'm so depressed
This where we end & me loving life begins
No more lies
No more games
No more neglect
No more disrespect
You broke me
Rest in peace to the old me
The one that used to endure all the trauma
And hug you back when you apologized as you cried
And hold me tight, tell me 'everything gon be alright'
Right...
Why are you so mean
How could you do those things to me
How could I stay for so many years
River flowing, so many tears
I just need time
I just need space
I don't ever wanna see you again
So please don't try to contact me
I don't care if you broke
I don't care if you hurt
I don't care if they bury your body in the dirt
Cuz you did me so wrong, scarred me so bad
I'm writing this song, honestly, I'm so mad
I'm so sad
I'm so glad I made it out
I escaped
I broke free
Back to being me
F*ck the old me
The new me gon be the me you won't see
