The judge will slap me down
You've got me in the corner
And it's only the second round
So I'll keep my mouth shut, darling
I'll be quiet as a lamb
And I'll act just as dumb, dear
As you really think I am
I'll shake your hand like a 'Rang Utan
Be as goofy as a clown
Clear the streets and book your seats
Mr. Stupid's Back In Town
Have you seen me shoot
Right through that hoop
It's a trick of great renown
Bring the crowd and laugh out loud
Mr. Stupid's back in town
When your friends point out
You're stuck with
A Neanderthal for an ex
Don't fret about it, darling
I still sign my name on cheques
I can grunt my way through questions
I can scratch myself and howl
I can numb you with my dumbness
I can lay it on with a trowel
On your 37th birthday
When he handed you that mink
Did you still feel like a victim
With your elbows in the sink
But I've said too much already
Now I think I'll step aside
'Cos my alter ego's ready
For any questions on your mind