Memo Video (MV)

2012 August
Growing up with panic disorder
Anxiety and slight depression always in the corner
Never made it to 6 feet I was always shorter
A slow metabolism just to top it off a hoarder
But not of physical things I'm talking memories stored up in your brain you see
I never understood exactly what the heck was wrong with me but
I noticed I easily attach myself to many different people and times that choose to make me happy
Uh anyways I'm starting high school in about a week
I'm so excited to be taking art, music and Japanese
I got my schedule today and then went out with my family
They're asking me about this girl they saw, her name is Natalie
She is just a friend although today she was mad at me
I'm not too sure why but who knows it might be a Cali thing
With everything aside I'm really excited for what's to come
I lost a lot of friends but I'm pretty sure I'll be making some
I gained a lot of confidence since I started my transformation
Putting in work, it's truly just a lot of fun
But I'll check back in year or two or maybe more
I'm honestly not sure but it's late I haven't even done my chores, bye

It's September 29 in 2017
I'm feeling kind of weak from last night too much Hennessy
But I am 21 I am legal it's official I can drink
My birthday kind of sucked but it's okay she says she still loves me um
I wish I checked in on my graduation day
I was so nervous to even go up and walk on the stage
Grabbing my diploma walking down seeing my family wave
Is something that I felt I accomplished this is a brand new page
Unfortunately I haven't started college but I'm getting paid
I got a decent job at a country club serving Chardonnay
Trying to make enough so I can go and improve my gpa
Staying positive even though I got no financial aid
I learned a lot ever since then
I made a bunch of new friends
I'm in some drama once again
I'm getting stuck in my feelings I type a text but I don't send
Always in my head feeling so nervous i can't pretend but then
I see my future is coming I'm on the fence
I can either grab the pen, keep writing or make some friends
Connections that I can use when I own a business and trend
Now I'm making money and my life will go from one to ten
But obviously it's a dream, right now I'm just doing me
And I'll probably move in Melissa making my life complete
The future that I can see is making me so happy
I'm gonna wrap this memo up and go make me a cup tea
Peace

May 9th 2020
The city shut down and my life became so hectic
And we cannot go out the CDC claimed a pandemic
Law enforcement officers, nurses and all the medics
Grocery workers and all the staff they need the credit
Never did I expect for all of this even happen
The passion from all the students is lacking and I feel sad and all the
Changes that are happening making me feel so bad
I was doing great and to this day I'm feeling sad
Man what is going on in my life
I'm supposed to be married with some kids, a beautiful wife
A bank account that is high with 6 zeros to the right
It's like I'm running out of time in two years I'll be 25
I'm staying positive but I'm getting too much bad luck
Oh yeah Melissa I'm not with her no more it kind of sucks
But I had enough I was breaking down and feeling stuck
Instead of keeping to myself I knew I had to speak up
Now what did I learn from when I started this memo
I learned that life isn't linear it was green and now it's yellow
You can make a bunch friends but you'll question if they're your friends though
Cuz they're faking their feelings and then play you like a Nintendo
I don't know if I'll be making another memo
It seems that every single time I do I'm gripping the pillow,
Cuz I'm getting so anxious and just feeling kind of mellow
Ask me if I'll do this again, hell no