Romaya - This isn't me Lyrics

This isn't me
Allowing a person to control
How I feel
You broke me twice
Now it's hard to even heal
I gave you my all
And everybody's seen
I'm so confused
Why would you do dis to me
Allowing a person to control
How I feel
You broke me twice
Now it's hard to even heal
I gave you my all
And everybody's seen
I'm so confused
Why would you do dis to me

I want you around
Though ur bad for me
I formed a mad attachment
Retaught how to self-love
But got a huge fear of abandonment
Cyant imagine my life without you
All the dreams to pursue
Together the things we wanted to do
Told me together
Promised forever
Sitting here reflecting
Where are you
I'm left alone
In my thoughts
This is depressing
I thought I'd always have you
But obviously I was wrong
Cause I'm sitting here crying
Writing this song

I wanna be with you
But I know it's not right
You torture my thoughts
Cyant even sleep at night
Being with you is like war
But I'm too restless to fight
You say you want me
Despite no changes in site
I wanna be with you
But we seem to never work
Tried multiple times
But I always end up hurt
Don't you see
What you're doing to me
I gotta let you go
But it's not dat easy

I don't know what to do
Stuck in this loop
Feels like I'm going mad
Keep staying to myself
Ignoring my health
Unresponsive to the help
I don't know what to say when I feel bare shame
Still nervous when I hear her name
Just wanna learn how to love me see me for beauty
Let go of past pain
Feeling empty is so normal
Receiving disappointment in all forms
Awful, it all falls late night up thinking till the dawn calls
Always overthinking got my brain sore
If people coulda seen the things I saw
Love to me is so complex
Thinking about it even makes me vex

I wanna be with you
But I know it's not right
You torture my thoughts
Cyant even sleep at night
Being with you is like war
But I'm too restless to fight
You say you want me
Despite no changes in site
I wanna be with you
But we seem to never work
Tried multiple times
But I always end up hurt
Don't you see
What you're doing to me
I gotta let you go
But it's not dat easy

This isn't me
Allowing a person to control
How I feel
You broke me twice
Now it's hard to even heal
I gave you my all
And everybody's seen
I'm so confused
Why would you do dis to me
Allowing a person to control
How I feel
You broke me twice
Now it's hard to even heal
I gave you my all
And everybody's seen
I'm so confused
Why would you do dis to me

Working on my healing
This beautiful journey
Knowing myself
Not letting someone else bring me down
I feel good
I feel great
My life's changed
This isn't me