Punky's Dilemma Lyrics by Simon & Garfunkel

Wish I was a Kellogg's Corn Flake
Floating in my bowl, takin' movies.
Relaxing a while
Living in style
Talking to a raisin who occasionally plays L.A.
Casually glancing at his toupee.

Wish I was an English Muffin
About to make the most out a toaster.
I'd ease my self down
Coming up brown.
I'd prefer boysenberry more than any ordinary jam.
I'm a citizens - for - boysenberry jam fan.

Oh, say California.

If I become a first lieutenant
Would you put my photos on your piano?
To Mary Jane
Best wishes Martin.
Ol Roger draft-dodger leaving by the basement door
Everybody knows what he's tiptoeing down there for.

[Thanks to e.mail2017 for correcting these lyrics]