Saij - HTBS Lyrics

"How to be suicidal well um, idk, i guess you could

Think about what you did wrong, not just the bullshit, think like actually
Every argument with your dad not happening could've given you a happier family
Maybe if i didn't lie, ruin a bond with everyone i ever knew
I wouldnt be alone, and overly dwell maybe then youd wanna kill yourself like

Maybe if you thought about everything that you f*cked up
You would agree with the fact that it's true
I start to talk to myself in reflection and lose the connection of strait up depression
I'm repeating lessons again and again when I learn through abuse
Honestly I feel like I'm gonna lose it

"I got bored" thats f*ckin stupid, i lost love and i lost trust
I lost innocence, i lost loyalty, i lost everything all for what
I don't miss her, I'm just sad, cus she aint deserve to go through that
And i just shit talked right past, cuz i was upset with myself in fact

It was a period all in a year, i lost my aunt, my uncle and friend to the clouds in the sky
I f*ckin miss them, maybe its tI'me I'm seeing them when i say hi

I never picked up the phone and regret it, i lost connection with family i get it
We all got busy and i got depression and got to the point where the point aint connecting
And there

How to be suicidal

I got cocky for shit that i hate, all of the music and lyrics was fake
I wanted hits, and money and fame, and i wanted to say it was all for my family
Even my family knows that changed, i wanna find myself, i wanna love myself
I wanna change who i am, i wanna die for relief
Not ending but sI'mply to help to the best that i can
More so the people i hurt would be happy, that last breath could relax myself
Being dead would make others glad so I guess it's good for my mental health

I'm reading this now and it's been like a year, i didn't know i could get so low
But what i've learned is loving yourself brings others and that you are never alone
And loving yourself isn't sI'mply just love on its own, there's plenty of thoughts that go into it
Like loving a hobby and loving a god, loving a job, ok ya thats stupid
To use more for example, but you know you know what i mean
Things get better if falling the only out is up so climb back up with me and live