Saydo - The Life I Live Lyrics

Perfect
Perfect
Perfect
Tcefrep
The life I live is intertwined in mediocrity
My own broken promises laying at my feet
For someone like me, fortune's a rare commodity
Born with no gift at all just an unnatural knack to think
21 years in and I see failure at every turn
Mocked by every walled off avenue that I've ever yearned
A lesson learned doesn't lessen spurn, unless I'm less concerned
With the blessing burned and those second guessing what I assess as firm
Ugh, I'm a thinker, I think beyond the brink of overthinking
Every opinion weighs down on my spirit until my psyche's oversinking
Every season, my mind wrestles alternate realities without reason
'Til I'm not breathing, I'm a victim of people misbelieving
Adulthood is accountability, I'm the bearer of all blame
For those who supported me unconditionally, I've offered nothing but false claims
My heart resides in secrecy 'fore terror rests easy on my frame
Judgment kills, not external hands, but as an inner conflict by shame
I don't confide in the people who seen me growing up
They won't see who I'm trying to grow to be, all they know is the older me
I don't divulge in confidence 'cause my confidence stops showing up
When the dreams I hold so close to me gets contaminated by disclosed critique
If I showed you the engine that's under the hood, would you miss what's under where I stood?
Or would you stand by me even if it seems unlikely to pan out good?
Or spoil my spirit, damper my desires, a fool's errand fabled so far-fetched?
If I bared my soul, would you laugh me a silly man for where my whole heart's at?
Ugh, where my whole heart's at
Ugh, where my whole heart's at
Or is that so far-fetched to think someone like me could go for that?
Humiliation in consciousness of foolish behavior
Betrayed by my own heart, am I a fool to think reality works in my favor?
No one's harmed, innocent means 'til the very ends couldn't be any safer
Then why do I feel so humiliated to the point results are my only savior?
Bestowed free will but only praise the ones who conform the best
The way we express, the way we suppress just to impress our important guests
And in the same breath, we go and neglect the host's own happiness
I digress, appearances is everything, but hey that's life I guess
I choose myself for every time I came up short (short)
On another man's accord, trying to earn his award (award)
I choose myself for every time I'd fall in the wind of public perception
That made me leaf in the other direction of what my being's been longing for (for)
Every time my pathos surrendered to your logos up in war (war)
The submission of an apex makes me sick to my f*cking core (core)
Domination, liberation, I never wanted nothing more (more)
If I can't live my own life, then tell me what the f*ck it's for? (for)
I don't confide in the, I don't confide in the, I don't con-, I don't con-
I don't confide in the people who seen me growing up (growing up)
They won't see, they won't see, they won't, they won't
They won't see who I'm trying to grow to be, all they know is the older me
I don't divulge in confidence 'cause my confidence stops showing up
When the dreams I hold so close to me gets contaminated by disclosed critique
If I showed you the engine that's under the hood, would you miss what's under where I stood?
Or would you stand by me even if it seems unlikely to pan out good?
Or spoil my spirit, damper my desires, a fool's errand fabled so far-fetched?
If I bared my soul, would you laugh me a silly man for where my whole heart's at?
Ugh, where my whole heart's at
Ugh, where my whole heart's at
Or is that so far-fetched to think someone like me could go for that?