Scheme - Mental State Lyrics

I sit there with coffee stains on a table top
A shot of plain vodka and a page of dots!
That need connection is it safe to plot?
Can I start to jot ink blots in a race against the clock?
Cause my age is not, an appropriate range for this stage to pop!
I seem to have a hidden rage am I brave enough?
To tap into a deep mind state without me breaking stuff?
It seems to be a common occurrence here
That I get a sudden urge not to persevere
They say my days are up!
They dont notice me burst into tears
See this curse interferes, and they just expect me to soak it up!

So where am I meant to turn and hide, wave goodbye
Cause so far they say its been a waste of time!
Even though I feel revitalised, like I didn't try to die
Its still gonna be a fight to shine!

But I'm ready to give everything to benefit and give a set of kids a feeling like
I got when I was given my first cassette after I settled in
To out 4th family home by the age of 8
And here starts my mental state!
I started to scribble a pencil at double that age, pretty sweet ay!
But inside I felt like a freak and I had to refrain!
From telling my parents, who were priests that I had a secret based in the base of my brain
I buried it in a basement and refused to face it again!
But who was I to say that Id never revisit these demons after a number of sleepless
Nights and cold sweats mixed with flashbacks id hold my breath!
Til I snapped back to reality when the hour glass smashed, I didn't know I was depressed!
Double that age again and I've beat depression
But my minds playing games it keeps refreshing!
I reach down for redemption but somehow always seem to fish out rejection!
Now I'm on a single mission to inject you all with me
And to inject everybody with a case of Scheme!