I Was Only 6 Video (MV)

I was only 6 when she passed away
Loves like cast away
Time went slow as it passed today
I look for halloween just mask the pain
Tears down my eyes while I ask for rain
My father don't act the same
Looking in the mirror he take half the blame
Negative whenever he react to change
I can see the pain in his smile
I been staring for awhile
Looking like he lost care for awhile
Had to hit the doc he lost hair for awhile
Anesthesia
Hid depression couldn't mask the fever
Lost in life because he had to leave her
Probably sleeping cuz my dad a dreamer
Incept his mind and so I had to read em
Hit the cemetery just checking it out
Then he skipped work cuz it's stressing him out
Tryna find a definite route, back to the house, open the door, lay on the couch
Look at his thoughts, bigger amounts
Look at the bills, figure it out
Our whole life's a big transaction
Sell you dreams but you can't buy happiness
I cannot remember what happened
I was only 6
I was only 6
I was only 6 when she passed
I was only 6
I was only 6 when she passed away
Loves like cast away
Time went slow as it passed today
I look for halloween just mask the pain
Tears down my eyes while I ask for rain
My momma don't act the same
Looking in the mirror she take half the blame
Negative whenever she react to change
Staying in her lane now
See the pain in her face when she tryna be brave now
Telling me her body always aches so I tell her go and lay down
Said she gotta cook, don't worry ma stay down
I gotchu I'ma chef it
She hungry for attention
Im starving for affection
She yearning for direction
I'm waiting for a lesson
She stood up for a message
But fell into depression
Turning to the bottle as a pick me up
Alcoholism run deep in the veins
Paramedics had to come and lift me up
And every single day it repeat in her brain
Momma told me here listen up
Got a lot of things she been meaning to say
Every time I ask she was brushing me off
Funny how she didn't have a reason today
She was like son, It was back in 01
In the middle of May
It was dark on our way to PA
With ya pops hitting 80
On the I-80
Drove my mind crazy
Cuz the fog really got in the way
Got the high beams on
Just to cut through the night
His vision wasn't functioning right
He had to squint just to see thru the tint
Thank God that the highway had a couple of lights
I'm tryna search for a clear mind
Passing a couple of deer signs
I told him slow up
He told me hold up
I told him next time we trip I won't show up
He said don't act like a bitch, baby grow up
Then you get carsick and you start to throw up
You start to cry while your sis get the napkins
He overreacting, and then starts to blow up
I start to panic then scream out my lungs
He told me angrily, "shut the f*ck
Your sister searching, but can't find the napkins
She takes off her seatbelt and look in the trunk
He takes his eyes off the road for a second
He missed the curve, we start to swerve
He hits the curb, we overturn
I hit my head, the rest is a blur
I open my eyes the next morning
Woke up in a hospital bed
They told me your father need surgery
They told me they got you on meds
You was like 1 and a couple of months
The doctor had said he surprised you ain't dead
They told me your sister alive in a coma
Im sorry ma, i wasn't tryna forget
I was only 6
I was only 6
I was only 6 when she passed
I was only 6
I was only 6 when she passed away
Loves like cast away
Time went slow as it passed today
I look for halloween just mask the pain
Tears down my eyes while I ask for rain
I swear I don't act the same
Looking in the mirror i take all the blame
Negative whenever I recall her name
It's getting harder to speak my mind
I'm getting lost in the brink of time
Seem to regret you're the reason why
Seem to forget you're my reason why
Why I see through all these peoples lies
Talking bout love, how it's demonized
Only find pain thru a demons eyes
Tears are protecting our deepest pride
Have you ever seen your mother cry?
In her head she's the cause of failure
Ever seen your father cry?
And his smile doesn't look familiar
Ever seen yourself cry?
I know it's hurts to look in the mirror
So you hop in the shower, just hoping
It washes away all the suffering
Let me make it clearer
I was only 6, they pulled the plug in 06 yea
My sister died when she was 21, i never thought i lose her like this yea
And now i understand why my parents have a love and hate relationship yea
Heard my father jumped ship yea
Cuz my mother called quits yea
Still they raised me, put they differences aside, never had an if or maybe
If anyone could, they could save me
I thank God they ain't try to change me
Do you know what it feel like
To be lost in your real life
See people on tv throw away mills
Ain't never gone a day without a meal right
I be starving for information
My sister is what gives me dedication
Momma keep on siting revelations
My father look like he need ventilation
Mentally i need some preservation
Hit the doctor we be lacking patience
Lord
Momma need help with the rent
I haven't given a cent
I know my conscience exist
But school is where she wanting me to invest
She see I'm trying my best
But she cant afford the tuition
Tryna sign up for financial aid
I swear we need the assistance
Told her I'm goin need my social security and birth certificate
Tears start to fall on her face
I'm like mommy is you ok
Gave a look to me like no way
Then got up and just walked away
Man I'm sorry ma I know it's tough
To see your lil boy grow up
I know California type far
But I'll make sure to visit every couple months
Yea she walk out the room with the papers in hand
She hand me the paper, I take me a glance
Some tears start to fall on the page of my past
And now it makes sense why I'm favored to last
She had one favor to ask
Promise to never stop loving each other
Promise to never give up on each other
Cuz I just found out that my sisters my mother