Secretixe - Message to my brother Lyrics

(Lotus left me crying)
Take a moment to breathe think I need some air
Every time that I needed you no no you wasn't there
Every time I was sitting there crying why didn't you ever care
Whenever I wanted to kick it with you why didn't you ever share
You never really f*cked with me I was so unaware
I really tried to push it away as if I never cared
Right now i'm screaming RIP LOTUS, this life shit is never fair
Just wish he had more time that boy was almost there
Tryna redeem yourself and I get it now
You realized you f*cked up and you're tryna bring yourself back in it now
And you're really contemplating like why you keep on going in and out
Really feel like you hated me and in reality, I was just a child
I just want to talk again I know that it's been a while
I feel like I lost a friend that ain't never been around
Ever since that accident I feel like you never smiled
Then you went to them drugs again and that shit was really wild
You really my blood brother man my twin flame man we lost them years
Remember them bunk beds in the hood man we was facing fears
Remember that Playstation, when you got it for me I was shedding tears
And all of those memories I cherished them like a souvenir
Man what do I do now, I feel like I took all the meds in here
I'm tweaking like ooh wow, i'm feeling like my name is Guinevere
I'm praying for you now i'm hoping that god really perseveres
I wish you were here now, at the end of the day it's just me and my peers