History Video (MV)

Complex, my mind and it's conflicts
Often lost in thoughts
Rotting away like a carcass, my body feels done
Convinced I'm the cause of it, like it's all my fault
Yeah, I'll laugh when I'm with you, then cry when alone
Coffee and cigarettes, yeah, that's my to-go
For some reason it's colder than usual
A feeling I know all too well
Simply trying to survive
Only to realize I'm running out of time
Oh, how precious life is
But I admit I don't care as much as I should
Should I say numb?
Even I wanted to, I couldn't
So far gone, even God wouldn't
So frustrated, I tear out my heart for you to feel it
So go ahead, walk in my shoes (Walk in my shoes)
I dare you, I beg you (I beg you)
I wanna know what it's like to have a satisfied appetite (Appetite)
I wanna bask in the light and not have to turn away my eyes (My eyes)
I wanna (I wanna)
I wanna (I wanna)
Constantly paranoid, counting my casualties
A corrupt cognition, bound for catastrophe
Standing in front of Him, I have no right to be
I have no right in me
I'm full of sin
Ask for forgiveness, like forgive this born sinner
Did things I regret, I wish I could forget
Consequences like nightmares as if he's not quite there
Shell shocked from fighting, left his mind now quite scared
Who can blame him? (Who can blame him)
He never had, what you call, a role model, uh
Misguided youth, intelligent but with the wrong morals, uh (Wrong morals)
Immature, but only 'cause he never knew any better
And if this the truth, where's your proof pastor
I don't buy it (I don't buy it)
Probably why their eyes feel uninviting (Uninviting)
Bad influence, bad person that's what I am (That's what I am)
In the past I'd just laugh at it and say they lying
But looking back, it just makes sense like it had already been decided, uh
It's ironic, isn't it?
Even I find it ridiculous
Was I cursed or have I always been?
I wasn't always like this, nah
Suddenly my life flipped, mind switched, like in a different body now
Second guessing my instincts, my nature, my (Nature, my)
Everything
Yes, it's embarrassing to admit
With only a few pages left in my notebook
Foreshadowing, perhaps, I may have to go soon
Yeah