Sobhyit - I'm Trying Lyrics

Come here, sit down for a second lets talk
There's been a lot on my mind lately

What's gotten into me lately I've been feeling off balance
Wasting away my talents
Draining my time all day in gallons
I hate feeling bored
Better yet, I have being ignored
Was in search for love but what a shitty reward
Okay no problem, anyways I cant afford
To be broken again my heart's been drained and poured
Stained and tore
Was excited to turn 18 now I'm scared to swing that sword
"I love you", "No I love you more"
Well I cant hear those words anymore
Loving myself was easy before
Before you left, now feels like war
Help me out if you will
When you ask how long, I'll reply until
My smile becomes as wide as that hill
You know I'm still
Hurting from past trauma
All the bullshit and drama
Seeing my mama
Cry
Makes me wanna get rich or die
I never want my sister to look me in the eye
And ask "Why couldn't you buy me that toy, that shirt, or some school supplies?"
(No no no)

I'm trying I'm trying
Get rich or die trying
On the inside I'm dying
Don't be mad at me
For losing my sanity
Reality is far too boring let me live in my fantasy

I never want my sister to look me in the eye
And ask "Why couldn't you buy me that toy, that shirt, or some school supplies?"
No need for you to say otherwise
I'll buy you a brand new car as a surprise
But honestly, f*ck the money if we aren't allies
You know I love you more than anything
Enough for me to get you anything
But many things
Have taken a toll
On my soul
It is the very thing
That makes many think
That a monster is a scary thing
But even a monster is misunderstood
Deep down there is good
Hidden from pain that's endured
No need to become matured
If it means no longer making you laugh
Or taking you to the zoo, watching zebras and giraffes
I had problems with people that owed my ass
An apology, yet I put it in the past
"How come?" you may ask
And you ask me, you ask me
"How come?" you may ask
And you ask me, you ask me

I'm trying I'm trying
Get rich or die trying
On the inside I'm dying
Don't be mad at me
For losing my sanity
Reality is far too boring let me live in my fantasy

I had problems with people that owed my ass
An apology, yet I put it in the past
"How come?" you may ask
Well sweetie I really needed that mental peace
If my depression were to increase
There would be police
Next to my body reporting a suicide
That's why I took the bullshit and threw aside
Started to show people my human side
When there was drama I just moved aside
Into my own lane
I'd rather live alone, me and this brain
Then to let people I don't even like to treat me inhumane
People that are only concerned in what they gain
From being around me and drain
My energy, how many times have I refrained
From cussing everyone's life out and going insane?
I can count plenty
But I'd be damned if I stayed feeling empty
Something's got to change
I'm flipping the page
Seeing where life is headed from here
Although there is fear
I trust in the future that's near
(Ya ya)
I trust in the future that's near
(Ya ya)