Soundfreeks - The Scrabble Song Lyrics

I told a fib
Mommy said that's bad
She punished me, was yelling
Then she spanked me on my ass
I started f*cking crying
Then I went to feed the cat
Saw he wasn't home
So I went out to the back

Right behind our house there's an old train track
The kitty wasn't there so I call my buddy Jack
He said he had my kitty heard it purring in the back
So I stopped giving a shit and then I made myself a snack

I grabbed a jar of pickles off the shelf for myself
Phil walked in, asked if I needed help
I said nope and then Phil went away
Why'd he have to marry my mom anyway?

As soon as Phil left I opened my laptop
Asked an AI to Google me something hot
Showed me pics of lava but that wasn't what I want
You probably think I'm ten but I'm actually not

I'm a thirty six year old divorced man
I've never had sex and my name is Steven
I live with my mom and her husband Phil
I'll never call him dad and I f*cking hate Jill

I wanna murder Phil, nudge, nudge, wink, wink
I got a great idea I could put it in his drink
A little bit of poison, I could do it near the sink
Yup, that'll work great now I gotta sit and think

First I gotta pee, better head off to the loo
Gotta drop a log, feel the power of my poo
Water splashed back now I'm wet, gross, ewww
Think it's all the cos that I ate, who are you?

A man just walked in the room what the f*ck
He grabbed my by the arm and he lead me to his truck
He said his name was Fez, he was in the FBI
Then he told me Phil was just not a nice guy

I said no shit, Phil's the mother f*cking worst
He told me that Phil put his mother in a hearse
I said no shit then I punched him in the tit
I ran off to the wild and got married to a bitch

I got married to a female dog
Turns out I was given the night off
Samantha (my dog wife) told me to f*ck off
Now I'm sick and tired and I have a little cough

I'm a f*cking goon like my name is Jamie Benn
If I was beamed into another galaxy I could be ten
But here on Earth I'm thirty six and married to a dog
Not a real life space cadet but I am God

I'm gonna phone it in because I am getting itchy
If I wasn't married maybe I would be less bitchy
I know how to balance all my energy that is qi
All the final bars sounds like they're ass but but they're just real cheap

I don't really give a damn shit
Re, rare, ar, technically we used it
Raydar is a song that's by JID
That is all the Scrabble words bitch