Gaston Lyrics by Josh Gad, Luke Evans, Ensemble

[LeFou]
Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Gaston
Looking so down in the dumps
Every guy here'd love to be you, Gaston
Even when taking your lumps
There's no man in town as admired as you
You're everyone's favorite guy
Everyone's awed and inspired by you
And it's not very hard to see why
No one's slick as Gaston
No one's quick as Gaston
No ones neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston's
For there's no man in town half as manly

[Girls]
Perfect, a pure paragon!

[LeFou]
You can ask any Tom, Dick, or Stanley
And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on

[LeFou & Ensemble]
Who plays darts like Gaston?
Who breaks hearts like Gaston?
Who's much more than the sum of his parts like Gaston?

[Gaston]
As a specimen, yes I'm intimidating

[LeFou & Ensemble]
My, what a guy, that Gaston

[Gaston]
I needed encouragement
Thank you, LeFou

[LeFou]
Well, there's no one as easy to bolster as you!
Too much?

[Gaston]
Yep

[LeFou & Ensemble]
No one fights like Gaston
Douses lights like Gaston

[LeFou]
In a wrestling match nobody bites like Gaston

[Gaston]
When I hunt I sneak up with my quiver
(Ooh)
And beasts of the field say a prayer
(Ah)
First I carefully aim for the liver
Then I shoot from behind

[LeFou]
Is that fair?

[Gaston]
I don't care

[LeFou & Ensemble]
No one hits like Gaston
Matches wits like Gaston

[LeFou]
In a spitting match nobody spits like Gaston

[Gaston]
I'm especially good at expectorating

[Ensemble]
Ten points for Gaston

[Gaston]
When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs
Every morning to help me get large
Well now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs so
I'm roughly the size of a barge

[Instrumental]

[LeFou & Ensemble]
Who has brains like Gaston?
Entertains like Gaston?

[Gaston]
Who can make up these endless refrains like Gaston?
I use antlers in all of my decorating

[LeFou & Ensemble]
Say it again
Who's a man among men
Who's the super success
Don't you know can't you guess
You can ask all his fans and his five hangers-on
There's just one guy in town who's got all of it down

[LeFou]
And his name's G-A-S-..T..I believe there's another T..
It just occurred to me that I'm illiterate and
I've never actually had to spell it out loud before

[Ensemble]
Gaston!

[Thanks to elizabeth.lowery for correcting these lyrics]