Strike That! Reverse It! Lyrics

WONKA:
Goodness, is that the time?

Our schedule has no room for intros, languid and rubato...
Accelerate right to the verse and play it molto presto and staccato!

What zigzag roads and fickle fates have led you to my chocolate gates?
I'm sure the stories would enthrall
but time is racing by us all
I'd love a rhyme or riddle or two
but there's so much time,
so little to do!
So much time, so little to do?
Please strike that, reverse it!
I meant the other way!

It doesn't take a Sigmund Freud
to see I'm charmed and overjoyed
but pardon if I start to fret,
we've not begun our journey yet!
No time to borrow or delay,
what's here tomorrow's gone today!
What's here tomorrow's gone today?
Whoops strike that, reverse it!
My tongue has feet of clay!

You bid the tasteless world adieu
to chew the goo awaiting you
but scurry, for the Wonka clock keeps ticking!

Inside these doors the floors are sweet,
there's rugs and carpets you can eat,
and best of all, the wallpaper needs licking!

This day of punctuality is scheduled
to the Nth degree,
I wish that there was time to share
my thoughts on makeup, clothes, and hair...

Madam!

MRS TEAVEE:
Yes?

WONKA:
Sine qua non and entre nous...
Your foot is on the other shoe!

MRS TEAVEE:
Oh my god...

WONKA:
Please strike that, reverse it!
Let's get on with our day!

Frau Gloop!

MRS GLOOP:
Oh, mister Wonka, guten tag!

WONKA:
Willkommen. And you must be Augustus!
Goodness, you look so faa...ntastically healthy.
I could eat you up- except I'm on a diet!
Speaking of diets, I must confiscate your sausage!

AUGUSTUS:
But sir it's my lunch!

WONKA:
Not anymore...
You may go first but lose the wurst!

AUGUSTUS:
That's sad because I love 'em

WONKA:
To lead our group, Augustus Gloop, for who could lose sight of him?

ALL:
Yes who could lose sight of him!

MR SALT:
Wonka, Sir Robert Salt,
Salt's Salted Nuts!

WONKA:
Pleased to meet you Bob, peanut business treating you well?

MR SALT:
Well actually it's been....

WONKA:
Oh interesting. We could talk all day... Except we won't!
No! I'm joking of course!
I'm fascinated by nuts! I used to be one myself...
And who's this adorable tot in a tutu?

VERUCA:
Veruca!

WONKA:
Ah, like the wart.

VERUCA:
The warts got two C's, I've got one.

WONKA:
One wart?

VERUCA:
One C!

WONKA:
I see.

VERUCA:
YOU SEE!!

WONKA:
you see... Ok, I see.
I say,
you are,
going to be fun!
Heh heh heh!

It's a pleasure, dear, to have you here,
Where did you get that mink?

VERUCA:
Are you for real?!

MR SALT:
it's baby seal that's clubbed then tickled pink.

ALL:
It's clubbed then tickled,
clubbed then tickled,
Clubbed then tickled pink!

MR BEAUREGARDE:
Eugene Beauregarde, please smile for the camera!
And surely you already know the Double Bubble Duchess.

WONKA:
It's a pleasure to meet you, now what is it exactly you do?

VIOLET:
I chew!

MR BEAUREGARDE:
Same gum for the last three years!

WONKA:
That's quite an achievement!

MR BEAUREGARDE:
It's a jaw-popping world record! She's got her own TV show, line of perfume,
and we are opening up boutiques all over the world! Isn't she something?

WONKA:
She's certainly something, Mr. Beauregarde, I'm just not sure what.

VIOLET:
Hey just let me in I'm here to win!

WONKA:
You like to beat your drum! Your confidence is quite intense but just don't jump the gum!

ALL:
Don't jump, don't jump, just don't jump the-

MIKE:
Pow! Pow! Bye bye, blubber boy!

WONKA:
Good heavens!

MIKE:
Out of my way, old man!

MRS TEAVEE:
Oh Michael, play nice now!

WONKA:
Mike Teavee... Aren't you the boy who got his ticket by hacking into my computers?!

MRS TEAVEE:
Oh Mr. Wonka, those are just allegations!

WONKA:
So Mike the brain you must explain just how you cracked my system!

MIKE:
Shut up old coot I'm trying to shoot the fat kid, shoot I missed him!

ALL:
Fat, shoot, missed him!

WONKA:
It seems that I've left someone out.
Who else is there, now give a shout!

CHARLIE:
Uh, Mr. Wonka, I'm the last.

WONKA:
Is least the last to join our cast, who are you?

CHARLIE:
Charlie Bucket, sir!

WONKA:
Oh yes, you're the boy who got his Golden Ticket at the very last moment; don't leave it so late next time!
And you must be Grandpa Joe!

JOE:
At your service, sir!

WONKA:
Enraptured, Charlie, er, overjoyed...
Is something wrong?

CHARLIE:
It's nothing, sir.

WONKA:
Oh, nothing is always something, Charlie...
Except when a person makes something out of nothing! Now what is it with you?

CHARLIE:
I don't know.

WONKA:
Are- are you the sort of boy who something out of nothing?

CHARLIE:
No sir... It's just- you're not what I expected.

WONKA:
That's a coincidence. I'm not what I expected either!
Now, messes Bucket, Salt, and Beauregarde, Madame Teavee and Shatzi Gloop,
You're visitors in my backyard when shepherding this tiny troupe.
And so I look to you to lead your future generations,
I must insist you hear and heed my rules and regulations!

Outside my doors you're free to do
The charming things that make you you
The traits that make you each a kid
A mirror of your parents id
But once inside you must obey
Do as I do, not as I say!
Damn, strike that, reverse it!
Oh the games the mind can play...

AUGUSTUS:
Which way to the buffet?

WONKA:
I'd love to lounge and lolly gag
And give each tongue the chance to wag
But I must get you all to sign this contract on the dotted line
There's no reprise, the way time flies to do the T's and cross the I's!
Whoops strike that, reverse it!
Please ink without delay!

MR SALT:
May I see the dossier?

MR BEAUREGARDE:
And negotiate her pay?

ALL:
Sir what does this contract say?

WONKA:
Well...
The undersigned herein cite for
No frippery or force majour
No property be touched or chewed or peddled!

ALL:
What'd he say?

WONKA:
De facto habeas corpus laws
For you a new grandfather's clause
Sign there there there there there thank god that's settled!

So now the time has come at last
To put the present in the past
It's time to take the golden tour
And taste the tempting treats du jour
The day is young the sun is high and so it's time to say goodbye!

ALL:
Goodbye!?

WONKA:
No strike that, reverse it!
The next time I'll rehearse it.
Get ready, set, on your marks, let's go!

VERUCA:
You're stupid!

MIKE:
You stink!

VIOLET:
I'm winning!

AUGUSTUS:
You think?

CHARLIE:
Let's go!

ALL:
On with the show!