Before the Old Man Comes Home Lyrics

RALPHIE:
Grab that piece from the floor

RANDY:
Tape it up like before

RALPHIE:
Take the knee
Wait, lift it higher

RANDY:
He'll forget that it broke

RALPHIE:
There we go

RANDY:
Is that smoke!

RALPHIE:
Oh my gosh!

RANDY:
It smells like fire
Aah

RALPHIE:
Here, take the heel of the shoe

RANDY:
We're out of luck without glue

RALPHIE:
So, try again

RANDY:
Nothing fits

RALPHIE:
This might work

RANDY:
Call it quits
What's the point?

RALPHIE:
Just do the best we can
Before The Old Man comes home

There oughta be something we can do to make Mom feel better.

RANDY:
Like what?

RALPHIE:
Well, for one thing, you can start eating your food without all that piggy stuff.

She'll come back
See your plate
Won't believe
That you ate
Try to swallow just one carrot

RANDY:
I don't know
If I can

RALPHIE:
Open up
Be a man

RANDY:
It's too much

RALPHIE:
Then fine, we'll share it

Hey, if you just take a bite
They won't remember their fight

RANDY:
All right

RALPHIE:
We'll sit down
Really quick

RANDY:
I think I'm
Getting sick

RALPHIE:
This could work

RANDY:
We need a better plan

BOTH:
Before The Old Man comes home

If he sees that The Lamp is on
If she sees that the food is gone
Maybe then
That's when
Everything will be okay again

NARRATOR:
The Old Man returned later, with five bottles of extra strength gluten.
He worked furiously, but futilely for at least an hour.
At last he gave in to the inevitability that the precious leg was lost.
Not long afterward, Mother returned.
Randy and I were in total fear of what might happen next.

MOTHER:
Look, I just...

THE OLD MAN:
If I must...

MOTHER:
What I meant...

THE OLD MAN:
It's because...

MOTHER:
How on earth

BOTH:
It got this way

MOTHER:
When I said...

THE OLD MAN:
I was so...

MOTHER:
And I tried...

THE OLD MAN:
Yeah, I know

MOTHER:
Listen, Frank
What I mean to say

NARRATOR:
The white flag had been waved. The war was over.
Peace had once again returned to the land. With as much dignity as he could muster,
The Old Man took what was left of his major award out
into the back yard and buried it next to the garage.
I could never be sure, but I thought I could hear...