Lying There Lyrics - Elegies A Song Cycle Soundtrack

I look at you lying there
sleeping so soundly
sometimes I wish
I could sleep as calm as you
and I bet in your dreaming I'm there
I look peaceful
and maybe you'd assume
I'm lost in dreaming too
but despite how I try
to close my eyes and join you
despite how I try
to hold my breath and body still
despite how I try
not to jolt you or wake you
I can't sleep
I don't breath
I won't move
Am I fufilled?

I look at you lying there
and I love you
I want to sleep for decades by side
but with you I'm restless
I'm running on empty
I'm living a life
where I have comprimised
You'd think in my sleep
I'd see you in my future
You'd think in my dreams
I'd see our kids play on the lawn
you'd think in my nightmares
I'm living life without you
You would think
you would guess
but I can't sleep
So you'd be wrong

You have blue eyes and I love blue eyes
I love how you're six feet tall
I love how we question if god's really there
and how we hate christmas time at the mall
and on paper we're great
and our stars are alligned
and it looks like it was all meant to be
but night after night
I keep shutting my eyes
and I try but I find I cant sleep

I look at you lying sleeping without me
I bet you'd never guess
my restlessness just grows
and while I want to shut my eyes
and know the things you know
I can't sleep
I can't breath
I can't move

How I wish I could wake you
I wish I could jolt you
I wish I could love you
but wishing that I'd loved you
isn't really loving
I suppose