Goods Lyrics - The Full Monty Musical Soundtrack

Jerry
Take a look at this girl
That's everything I like
She got the face, she got the waist
She got the legs

Malcolm
Naw, her tits are too big

Jerry
What are you, crazy?
Bodacious funbags are a must!
They gotta be C or D or better
They gotta post a threat to the sweater - ow!

She got the goods!
That's an eight or nine at least
She got the goods

Horse
Let me see that
She has some irredeemable flaws. I give her a six.

Ah - now there's a ten!

Jerry
You call that a ten?

Horse
Based on the booty

Jerry
What do you mean? It's huge.

Horse
She got a butt like a battleship!
I don't need to look above the hip

She got that shelf kinda ass ... you could display your tchotchkes, your collectibles on there.

Baby got back. That's a fact
You could park a wide-track Pontiac in that crack
Now that's the goods
The bigger the cushion -

Jerry
She's got a sofa-bed back there!

Dave
Well we just better hope the women are more forgiving than we are.

Horse
What is that supposed to mean?

Dave
If they're looking at us Sunday night the way we're usually looking at them, we're in trouble.

Nightmare Georgie
Take a look at that opie-looking jerk with the pigeon chest!

Nightmare Pam
And I give that fat guy's ass a two
But I wish I had such voluptous breasts

Nightmare Vicki
And what about old Father Time over there?
Yeah, sure he can dance
But I didn't pay twenty bucks to look at
Red Foxx skip around in a pair of
Blue underpants

Women
That ain't the goods

Dave
What happens when they say that?

Women
This is not the goods!

Nightmare Estelle
He's fat, he's old, he's skinny, he's bald
He's short
He's got pimples on his ass

Women
He's fat, he's old, he's skinny, he's bald
He's short
He's got pimples on his ass

Men
Women can be lovers
Women can be pals
Women can be modern types
Or sweet old-fashioned gals

Women can be angels on earth
But then again
Holy goddamn f*cking shit...
Women can be men

Women
He's fat, he's old, he's skinny
He's bald, he's short
He's fat, he's old, he's skinny
He's bald, he's short

Harold
I've got pimples
All over my ass!!
Look at it! Jesus!
That ain't the goods Women
He's got pimples
All over his ass

That ain't the goods

Horse
I feel extremely insecure
All of a sudden

Dave
What am I doin' here?

Men
What am I doin' here?
What the hell am I doing here

All
This ain't the goods

[Thanks to ihollowsprojects for correcting these lyrics]