Backstage Scene Lyrics - Jerry Springer: the Opera Soundtrack

[JERRY (spoken)]
What the f*ck is that idiot Warm Up Man doing out there?
He's turning my people into a mob! You're right, Steve, he's got to go.

[WARM UP MAN]
Hey, Jerry,
What can I say man? Tough crowd!

[JERRY (spoken)]
Nice to see you, Jonathan.

[WARM UP MAN]
Sorry if I let those assholes get a little too loud,

[JERRY (spoken)]
Those assholes are my audience.

[WARM UP MAN]
Jerry, don't bullshit me,
You and me both, we know,
They are scum!
Filthy cocksucking scum!

[JERRY (spoken)]
And your job is to control those scum and keep them from upstaging my guests.

[WARM UP MAN]
Pimps and perverts,
Teenage whores,
People so fat they get stuck in revolving doors!

[JERRY (spoken)]
And we get them through those doors and onto a plane to Chicago.

[JERRY'S INNER VALKYRIE]
Sluts and faggots,
Gimps eating maggots.

[JERRY (spoken)]
We've never had a maggot eating gimp on this show!

[WARM UP MAN]
Jerry, you could do anything.

[JERRY (spoken)]
What are you talking about?

[WARM UP MAN]
You could run for Senate!
Or even president!

[JERRY (spoken)]
If I want my dick sucked, I'll call my agent.

[WARM UP MAN]
Looks like you're cruising,
Playing it safe.

[JERRY (spoken)]
You're way out of line, pal.

[WARM UP MAN]
You need a challenge,
And I've got just the thing,
Gonna make you sweat,
When you're in the ring.

[JERRY (spoken)]
Jonathan, let's cut this short.