Foursome Guests Lyrics - Jerry Springer: the Opera Soundtrack

JERRY (spoken):
Thank you! Welcome to the show!

(AUDIENCE Cheer)

JERRY (spoken):
Today all my guests have guilty secrets.
They also have partners who want to get these secrets off their chests and come clean!

So please welcome my first guest with a dirty secret, Dwight!

(AUDIENCE Cheer/Jeer)

Welcome to the show, Dwight!

DWIGHT:
Hey Jerry, wassup?

JERRY (spoken):
Wassup?

AUDIENCE:
Wassup!

JERRY (spoken):
So Dwight, what's on your mind?

DWIGHT:
I been seein' my fiancee for two years.

AUDIENCE:
Aaah.

DWIGHT:
And we're getting married in two months!

AUDIENCE:
Aaah.

JERRY (spoken):
And what is it you want to tell your fiancee?

DWIGHT:
I been seeing someone else!

AUDIENCE:
Boo!

DWIGHT:
Someone else!

AUDIENCE:
Boo!

DWIGHT:
Someone else! Someone else!

AUDIENCE:
Boo!

DWIGHT:
Whatever! Get over it!

JERRY (spoken):
Okay, shhh, come on! Now, does your fiancee know this person?

DWIGHT:
Its her best friend, Zandra.

AUDIENCE:
Boo!

DWIGHT:
Oh whatever!

JERRY (spoken):
Okay, okay.
Now, you're getting married in two months, why would you cheat on your future wife?

DWIGHT:
I don't know, Jerry, it just happened!
But I really love her!

AUDIENCE:
Aaah!

DWIGHT:
God, I really love her! But I gotta get my secret of my chest!

AUDIENCE and DWIGHT:
Off my/his chest!

JERRY (spoken):
Well lets see feels about it, please say hello to Peaches!

AUDIENCE:
Jerry Jerry Jerry Jerry! Pig! Bitch! Pig! Bitch!

JERRY (spoken):
Hi Peaches, dont listen to them, they're just kidding!

AUDIENCE:
Pig!

JERRY (spoken):
Welcome to the show. Welcome to the show, Peaches.
You know why you're here?

PEACHES:
No idea, Jerry.

JERRY (spoken):
Well how's the relationship?

DWIGHT:
It's good.

PEACHES:
Uh-huh!

DWIGHT:
Real good.

PEACHES:
Uh-huh!

JERRY (spoken):
Well Dwight has something he wants to tell you, go ahead, Dwight!

DWIGHT:
Baby, we been going out for two years.

PEACHES:
Uh-huh, uh-huh!

DWIGHT:
Things are going good!

PEACHES:
Uh-huh, uh-huh!

DWIGHT:
But I got something to say!

PEACHES:
Uh-huh, uh-huh?

DWIGHT:
Something that's burning inside!

PEACHES:
Uh-huh?