Turning Turtle Lyrics by Meryl Streep & Emily Blunt & Lin-Manuel Miranda & Pixie Davies & Joel Dawson & Nathanael Saleh

[Spoken:]
"Turning turtle? What exactly does that mean?"
"It means my whole world goes flippity flop like a turtle on its back.
And I don't know my up from my down, my east from my west, my topsy from my bottomsy"

If you bring something broken on a Thursday
I'll make new, with my glue, pins and thread
But you bring whatever broken on a Friday
I will mend and then spend the day in bed
Children, Satur, Sun and Mondays are just everything is fun days
But in the second week, I wear a frown
For, I know that after Tuesday comes the Topsy get's bad news day
It's the dreaded second Wednesday
When from 9 to noon, my life turns upside down

If fast is slow, low is high, stop is go and that is why
Every second Wednesday is a hurdle
From 8 to 9, all is well
Then I roll over on my shell
And all because the world is turning turtle

Day is night, dog is cat, black is white, thin is fat
That is why I'm loosening up my girdle
I cannot help this charming troop
Don't lock me, 'cause I'm in this soup
And why? Because the world is turning turtle

Oh, woe is me, I'm as opposite as I can be
I long for Thursdays when the world is drab
When will it cease? Now my life resembles War and Peace
That Tolstoy certainly had the gift of gab, I couldn't get through it

Bottom's top, ying is yang, peace and quiet's Sturm und Drang
Tuesday nights, my blood begins to curdle
East is west, in is out, and that is why I need to shout
"Oh no!" The world is turning turtle

Oh, if you had come some other morn'
You wouldn't have found me so forlorn
But, since the day that I was born
Second Wednesday is on the fritz
I couldn't mend this to save my soul
If this keeps up, I'll dig a hole
You say life's a cherry bowl
But Wednesday's full of pits

Tell us, can you fix this drum?

[Spoken:]
Well, today it's looking glum
Can you mend this crack and broken string?
Perhaps if you all lend a hand
Our fingers are at your command
A broken song, but still can sing
Let's do the turtle swing

Oh, woe is me. Now I'm on my head
How can that be?
Well you say woe, but I say lucky you
Lucky me?
Yes. Here on your head "A" is far behind and led by Z (zed)
It's good to get a different point of view

[Spoken:]
"You see, when the world turns upside down, the best thing is turn right along with it"
"I do see! From down here, things look right side up, hahaha"
"I wouldn't mind seeing things from that angle"
"Sounds like fun"
"Can we?"
"Very well. Flippity flop"

Near is far and here is there
Turtles turning everywhere
Things are getting clear
Then knock on wood my dear

When you change the view from where you stood
The things you view will change for good

[Spoken:]
"I never thought of things that way"
"She never thought of things that way"
"Now Wednesdays are my favorite days"
"Now Wednesdays are her favorite days"
"Cause that's the day, I'm quite contrary. I'm now, thanks to cousin Mary,
I have changed. To be exact, I love the fact"