Eduardo Franco - Miss My Dick Lyrics

Dragon shirt, camping vest, marrow boots, they're the best
Lauryn Hill swaggin' playin' suckers like a game of chess
Pants sagging, cargo pocket packing heat, no Smith and Wes
Mess with the balisong
Let's take a trip and ride along
Bags packed, I got the bong
Cheefing on some Tommy Chong
Oh my god, now what is wrong?
I think I chopped my f*cking dong
Yeah it's true if you ain't noticed
6 foot 1 two balls with no dick
What the f*ck, I don't deserve this
Chopped my dick, not on purpose
And Sean is out here nature twerking
Donnie's drunk and Sarah's mad
Becky's pissed at mom and dad
Trying to throw a party
After breaking up with f*cking Chad
Now I'm here, with no dick
I pray to god and still no dick
Stomach sick
I'm feeling nauseous
Suicide, I might see you with dolphins
I can't keep swimming
I gotta give up any chance with a woman
They say why you laugh?
This isn't a joke if mothers like this shit I'm missing my pole
Highly unlikely I'll ever recover
So do me a favor
Don't ask me just don't

I ain't got a dick but it don't mean shit
I can still smoke weed
I can still get lit
And if you're staring at my crotch might as well take a pic
All the ladies come and flock 'cause they miss my dick
I miss my dick (4)
I miss it

Balls wrapped in rubber bands
Ready to die just like a cramp
Red lobster, helicopter
Pick me up, went to the hospital
Doctor says, "impossible I have to sew your popsicle"
Life is full of obstacles
But this shit can't really be possible
Like the way that I lost my dick
Doctor says too late, can't fix
Tell me, how could it be like this?
Yo, dog, think of something quick
Tell me how am I gonna f*ck my bitch
How am I gonna live my life without my dick
Can I get a boner? What about Organ donors? Put me on a wait list
Doc says face it
You shouldn't play with knives
Bitch this ain't a knife
This is a balisong and you're gonna f*cking die if you don't fix my broken dong
Imma chop your f*cking balls
Get it right next time
This not a knife bitch
This is a balisong
I tried to tell you once
I don't wanna tell you twice
Major case of blue balls cooking
I'll be cumming rice
By the time that I get it back
Too late now, it's in his hands
Homies punked a redneck
They said, "nah, boy, you getting jack"

I ain't got a dick
But it don't mean shit
I can still smoke weed
I can still get lit
And if you staring at my crotch might as well take a pic
All the ladies come and flock 'cause they miss my dick
I miss my dick (4)
I miss it

[Thanks to geraldineriverotaya for adding these lyrics]