Green Eggs And Ham Lyrics

(We hear the sounds of war as SCHMITZ, CADETS and JOJO appear)

CADETS
Schmitz, Schmitz, Schmitz, Schmitz,
Schmitz, Schmitz, Schmitz, Schmitz,

SCHMITZ
Sound off!

JOJO & CADETS
Eggs and ham!

SCHMITZ
Sound off!

JOJO & CADETS
Sam I am!

SCHMITZ, JOJO, & CADETS
I do not like green eggs...

And ham!

SCHMITZ
We've arrive at the war, as I said that we would.
And war is a thing that does every boy good!
We will sleep in the trenches and go without supper
To make the world safe for each Butter Side Upper.
And we'll shoot every traitor and all out-of-towners
Who side with this bibulous Butter Side Downers!
Any questions?

JOJO
Sir,
This war makes no sense.
Just on Think and you quit.
Spreading bread up or down
Doesn't matter a bit!
We've crashed in the clover!
There's no help in sight.
So why are you here
Teaching children to fight?

(SCHMITZ reacts as JOJO continues)

And not only that, sir,
It's Christmas on Who!
I'd rather have Christmas than war, wouldn't you?

So here is my sword. And here is my hat.
I'm going home! And that, sir, is that!

SCHMITZ
It's a minefield out there!
This is no time for play!

JOJO
Sir, I think what I think.
Now get out of my way!

(JOJO heads out, attempting to hop across a minefield)

SCHMITZ
Soldier, you will obey!
You will halt!
JoJo, come back!
Son, wait!

(JOJO sways and begins to lose his balance. The sounds of gunfire grow louder.
Suddenly, there is a loud explosion, a flash of light...and JOJO is gone)

(TRANSITION. We hear a Christmas theme and we see the GRINCH on a small,
Rickety stage, surrounded by young Whos in homemade angel wings.
One of the young Whos plays MAX THE DOG.
It's the annual Who Christmas celebration, even though there's a war on.
THE GRINCH is nearing the end of his familiar recitation.)
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ALL
I do not like green eggs and ham
I do not like them, Sam-I-am
Do not like them here or there
I do not like them anywhere.

Not in a house, not with a mouse
Not here or there, not anywhere
I do not like green eggs and ham
I do not like them, Sam-I-am

Could you? Would you? With a goat?
Could you? Would you? On a boat?
Could you? Would you? In the rain?
Could you? Would you? On a train?

Not with a goat. Not on a boat.
Not in the rain. Not on a train.
Not in a house. Not with a mouse.
Oh, no!

Not in a box. Not with a fox.
Not in a tree. You let me be!
I do not like green eggs and ham!
I do not like them, Sam-I-am!

(All take their bows)

I do not like green eggs and ham!