ILONA SPOKEN:
Amalia, do you belong to a lonely hearts club?
AMALIA SPOKEN:
I've never done that sort of thing. I used to read the advertisements in the papers...
ILONA:
Who doesnt? "Young man wants young lady. Young lady wants young man."
AMALIA:
But I never took them seriously, Ilona. Until, one day, I saw his advertisement. Even then, I tried not to answer it. But it kept calling out to me...
ILONA:
He could be seventy-five!
AMALIA:
The advertisement said, "young man."
ILONA:
But you never even asked for a photograph?!
AMALIA SINGS:
I don't know his name or what he looks like,
but I have a much more certain guide:
I can tell exactly what he looks like inside.
When I undertook this correspondence,
little did I know I'd grow so fond;
little did I know our views would so correspond.
He writes me what his feelings are
on Shaw, Flaubert, Chopin, Renoir.
The more I read, the more I find
we're one in mind and heart.
I know the kind of home we'd share
the books, the prints, the music there,
a home, a life, that's warm and full
and rich in love and art.
I don't need to see his handsome profile.
I don't need to see his manly frame.
All I need to know is in each letter,
each long revealing letter.
I couldn't know him better
if I knew his name.
AMALIA SPOKEN:
Oh, I know him so well, Ilona. I know that he's a very successful person, and he's terribly well educated and he's gentle and kind, soft spoken... I know all this about him! And so much more! It's just that I never met him, thats all.
ILONA SINGS (AMALIA SINGS):
If he isn't too handsome,
true it doesn't much matter.
(He writes his deepest thoughts to me)
But his personal habits
are more important than his looks.
(on Swift, Vermeer, and Debussy,)
Supposing he snores like a locomotive?
Supposing he grinds his teeth?
Supposing he's a knuckle cracker, Amalia?
(on Maugham, Remarque, Dumas, Ducas, Dufy, Dufay, Defoe.)
Good luck with your books!
And another small detail, that you haven't yet mentioned,
(He thinks as I, he feels as I)
I am speaking of sex, dear, when you and he are all alone.
(He shares the same ideas as I)
Come to think of it,
maybe you're right.
Maybe it doesn't matter at that.
Maybe I'd do much better myself
with a library card
(I'll never find a man who's so simpatico,)
and a gramophone.
(I know.)
AMALIA SINGS (ILONA SINGS):
I don't need to see his handsome profile.
(I was taken in by someone's profile.)
I don't need to see his manly frame.
(I was taken in by someone's frame.)
All I need to know is in each letter, each
(How I could have used one )
BOTH
long revealing letter.
AMALIA SINGS (ILONA SINGS):
I couldn't know him better,
(I hope you do much better.)
if I knew his name.
(I knew his name.)
BOTH:
What's in a name?
[Thanks to julljod for correcting these lyrics]