Shrek The Musical Cast - Story of My Life Lyrics

[Guard]
(Spoken)
Alright, when I call your name, step forward.
Pinocchio the puppet!

[Pinocchio]
Oh, I’m not a puppet, I’m a real boy.
(nose grows)

[Guard]
That’s your patch of mud down there

[Pinocchio]
Dumped on a swamp,
Man, I tell ya, sometimes being a fairytale creature sucks pine-sap!

(Sung)
Life is disappointing.
Woe is what I know.
Outed by nose—
that’s just how it goes,
for poor Pinocchio.

Story of my life.
Always doomed to fail.
Cheated by a fox.
Swallowed by a whale.
That’s the story of my life, oh yeah.
That’s the story of my life.

[Elf]
Strife is never ending.

[Guard]
Peter Pan!

[Peter Pan]
Banished from the town.

[Guard]
Ugly Duckling!

[Ugly Duckling]
They dragged me from the pond.

[Fairy Godmother]
They broke my magic wand.

[3 Pigs]
Zey blow our condos down.

[Guard]
Wicked Witch!

[Wicked Witch]
Life is but a witch-hunt.

[Mama Bear]
Mama’s in the mud.
Mama’s in distress.

[Gnome]
They ridiculed my hat.

[3 Pigs]
Zey said zat vee vere fat!

[Wolf]
They tore my cotton granny dress.
And called me a hot ‘n tranny mess.

[Guard]
Sugar Plum Fairy!

[Fairytale Creatures]
Story of my life.
Booted from the ball.
Told to go away.

[Humpty Dumpty]
Toppled off a wall.

[Fairytale Creatures]
That’s the story of my life.

[Guard]
You’re late, Rabbit!

[White Rabbit]
That’s the story of my life.

[Guard]
Have fun you guys.

[Fairytale Creatures]
That’s the story of my life.

[Guard]
And remember, if we find you back in the kingdom, you will be executed.

[Fairytale Creatures]
I always dream I’d get a happy ending.

[Wicked Witch]
And this right here?
Not how it goes.

[Fairytale Creatures]
I always dreamed I’d get an ever after.
If this is it— it blows.
It blows…it blows…it blows!

[Pinocchio]
This is worse than that case of Dutch Elm Disease I caught in Tijuana!

[Fairytale Creatures]
Story of my life.
All the wasted prayers.
All the broken dream.

[Bear Family]
All the broken chairs.

[Fairytale Creatures]
All the damage done.

[Bear Family]
All the busted beds.

[Fairytale Creatures]
All the shattered bowls.

[Bear Family]
And the porridge on our heads.

[Fairytale Creatures]
That’s the story my of life, yes sir.
That’s the story of my life, oy vey!
That’s the story of my life!

[Pinocchio]
Crap!