Shucked Album Lyrics - Shucked Full Album

(Lyrics to the Full Album on one page)

Overture

(Original Broadway Cast)

[PEANUT, spoken]
Good morning, Cob County!
This is Peanut with Morning Stark Radio
Here's what's goin' on
Yesterday, Buddy Wilson was attacked by a mob of clowns
When asked how he escaped, he said "I went for the juggler"
Oh, and today is the big weddin'!
In preparation, we ask that you turn off your tractors, your silos, your phones
And anything else than might get turned on
The couple also asks that you don't take pictures, make films or mow any crop circles
That might capture any part of this here ceremony
And now, some music from the Shucked orchestra
Conducted by Jason Howland
To start your mornin' plowin'!

Top▲

Corn

(Original Broadway Cast)

STORYTELLER 1:
Well, I bet you heard
If you ever read the word
Of the Good Book, it took God
Seven days to make the Earth

STORYTELLER 2:
And he made the moon and stars
And the sun out of?gold
But?there's?one part of?the story
That's very?seldom told

STORYTELLER 1:
You see, He took a little cow
And He made a little udder

STORYTELLER 2:
Squeezed a little milk
And He made a little butter

STORYTELLER 1:
He laid out a little spread

STORYTELLER 2:
Then He broke a little bread

BOTH:
Th?n the best idea H? ever had
Popped into His head

Corn!
Yes, we said corn
Just as sure as the day that you were born
In the evening, it's for supper
Then it's grits in the morn
No, it ain't our bread that's buttered
No, it's corn

STORYTELLER 1: (spoken)
We're here to tell you a fable

STORYTELLER 2: (spoken)
A farm-to-fable

STORYTELLER 1: (spoken)
Ooh!
About a simple place time forgot

STORYTELLER 2: (spoken)
Called Cob County

STORYTELLER 1: (spoken)
Now, I know when some of you think "small towns"
You think "gun-toting rusted-truck hay seeds
Who think liberal is how you pour your whiskey
And fluid belongs in your gas tank"
But I want you to open your minds
And think even smaller!

STORYTELLER 2: (spoken)
Somewhere north of south and south of north
To a place where being
from somewhere is who you are

STORYTELLER 1: (spoken)
Filled with people no different from you or me
Well, more you

STORYTELLER 2: (spoken)
Proud, simple people
Who, more than anything,
Loved their corn!

STORYTELLER 1:
They say it came from Mexico
Some seven-thousand years ago

STORYTELLER 2:
Somewhere between right now
and dinosaurs

STORYTELLER 1:
Cut to the 1400's

STORYTELLER 2:
Christopher Columbus
Brought syphilis and smallpox to the shore

BOTH:
And took credit for

COMPANY:
Corn!
I'm talking corn
When it's popping up in rows
It's just like Norman Rockwell
Had a fresh new hand
And saw the technicolor morn
It's Kentucky and it's Kansas
Yeah, it's corn

STORYTELLER 1: (spoken)
It grew everywhere in tall proud rows!
Corn rows!

STORYTELLER 2: (spoken)
O-krrrrr

STORYTELLER 1: (spoken)
Nuh-uh, don't do that!

STORYTELLER 2: (spoken)
Okay

STORYTELLER 1: (spoken)
It popped up on every property line

STORYTELLER 2: (spoken)
Forming a huge corn wall
that completely surrounded the town

STORYTELLER 1: (spoken)
Because of that
no one had ever left
or come to Cob County

STORYTELLER 2: (spoken)
Oh, they knew of the outside world
They just wanted no part of it

STORYTELLER 1:
The way history is written
Jump into the first Thanksgiving
The Indians brought something
The called maize

STORYTELLER 2:
Around eleven-thirty
The pilgrims stuffed a turkey
Slipped into a tryptophanic haze

COMPANY:
With leftovers for days and days

Of corn!
Yeah, I heard corn
Got us through the Great Depression
and the storms

STORYTELLER 2:
They turned it into alcohol!

STORYTELLER 1:
Yeah, that's my favorite form!

COMPANY:
It's mazola and it's ethanol
It's corn!

We were corn-bred, we were corn-fed
Out here, we really feel like we were chosen
We love corn flakes, we love corn cakes
Don't know where
We would be without that golden corn

STORYTELLER 1: (spoken)
And on this day, vows were written
For a wedding that almost didn't happen

MAIZY:
Maybe love is like a dream
A couple vows, a couple rings

BEAU:
It's a promise that you make
That two hearts will never break

MAIZY:
Maybe love is like a song

BEAU:
All at once, you sing along

MAIZY & BEAU:
Doesn't have to be that hard
When it's written in the stars
Maybe love is like a seed
A little sun is all you need
A little rain, and so it goes

COMPANY:
It grows and grows in rows and rows from dust

MAIZY & BEAU:
Maybe love just need a little...

STORYTELLER 1:
Sweet corn, street corn

STORYTELLER 2:
It's really hard to beat corn

STORYTELLER 1:
Hands or feet, no wrong way to eat corn

STORYTELLER 2:
It's a resource that's always renewable

STORYTELLER 1:
Bring it to a bris

STORYTELLER 2:
Or a wedding

BOTH:
Or a funeral!

STORYTELLER 2:
Cook on the cob

STORYTELLER 1:
Or in a tortilla

STORYTELLER 2:
You can even make it an onomatopoeia

STORYTELLER 1:
Candy corn, kettle corn, put it in your mouth

STORYTELLERS:
It's the same going in coming out

Sweet corn, street corn
It's really hard to beat corn
Hands or feet, no wrong way to eat corn
It's a resource that's always renewable

COMPANY:
Bring it to a bris!

STORYTELLERS:
Or a wedding or a funeral!
Cook on the cob
Or in a tortilla
You can even make it an onomatopoeia
Candy corn, kettle corn, put it in your mouth

COMPANY:
It's the same going in coming out

Sweet corn, street corn
It's really hard to beat corn
Hands or feet, no wrong way to eat corn
It's a resource that's always renewable

STORYTELLER 1:
Bring it to a bris!

STORYTELLER 2: (spoken)
God!

COMPANY:
It's got the juice!

Sweet, street, hands, feet
Cook it, pop it, baby, bris
Ashes to ashes and dust into dust
We give to the corn cause the corn gives to us

Corn!
All kinds of corn
It's our living

STORYTELLER 1:
It's our

COMPANY:
Loving!

STORYTELLER 1:
It's our corn!

COMPANY:
And when we go right on up to Heaven
We won't need to mourn
Just as long as the streets are paved with corn
When we get to Heaven
We won't need to mourn
Just as long as those streets are paved with corn!
Corn!
Corn!

Top▲

Walls

(Original Broadway Cast)

[MAIZY]
We're stubborn and we're prideful
Don't need nobody else
We'd rather get our tooth pulled
Than ever ask for help
And that's always served us well
Until right now
But our way of life is dyin'
And we haven't got a prayer
The truth is I'd be lyin'
If I said I wasn't scared
To go and let the outside in
Even if it turns us inside out

We build walls
Around our homes, around our hearts
Build 'em tall
So what's inside won't fall apart
But if we just stay here in limbo
We could lose it all
So I'm lookin' for a window, not a wall

We only see the danger
In plac?s we ain't been
We nev?r think a stranger
Could ever be a friend
But every friend you've got
Is someone that you didn't used to know

[MAIZY & (ENSEMBLE)]
So why build walls (Oh)
Around our homes, around our hearts?
We just stay small (Small)
Always thinkin' we're so smart
But that story's gotta end though
Or we could lose it all
So I'm lookin' for a window, not a wall

A window lets the sunshine in
The summer wind
Maybe even a new friend
And with a little hope and a little help
Maybe we just might
Save ourselves after all
If we could find a window, not a wall
If we could find a window, not a wall

Top▲

Walls (Reprise)

(Original Broadway Cast)

[MAIZY]
A window lets the sun shine in
A summer wind
And maybe even a new friend
And with a little hope and a little help
Maybe we just might save ourselves after all
If we could find a window

[ENSEMBLE]
Aah, aah, aah, aah
Aah, aah, aah

[MAIZY]
Not a wall!

Top▲

Travelin' Song

(Original Broadway Cast)

[Intro]
Determined to prove everyone wrong
Maizy packed her one good dress and her two good virtues
And headed for the big, scary city!

[Storyteller 1, Storyteller 2, & Both]
You take the truck
You take the truck
To the rock
To the rock
By the ducks by the dock, aw
Take a boat that'll float
To a donkey to a horse
To a bull to a turkey to a goat
And then you jump
And then you jump
You jump on the road
You jump on the road
'Til it runs out of dirt
By the Methodist Church
By the Baptist Church
By the Church of Christ where she got baptized
In the whiskey river
Where there used to be a barn before there was a twister
It's a skip
It's a skip
Then a frog
Then a frog
On a log to a great hound dog
Then a bus to a bus and you might need to rush
To an Uber to a train
Got a ticket with your name
And we just touched down on a Southwest plane

[Ensemble]
And we just touched down on a Southwest plane!
Oh!

[Maizy & Ensemble]
In Tampa (Oh!)
I came all the way through Nashville and Atlanta! (Oh!)
Do I send a postcard over pigeon back to grandpa? (Oh!)
Tell him everything is beautiful in Tampa?
In Tampa (Oh!)
Everyone's a Tina or a Tamara!
It's a bleach and platinum blonde extravaganza!
Yeah, everyone is beautiful in Tampa!
It's not at all (It's not at all)
What I've been told (What she's been told)
The sand is white (White), the sun is gold (Gold)
And all the people are so old (People are so old)
Get a tan, take a stroll, and then dip your toe
In the Gulf of Mexico (Gulf of Mexico)
And they all said (And they all said)
I'd lose my way (She'd lose her way)
That this was just a big mistake
But how could I go wrong with Chinese Food (Oh)
And frozen yogurt every day? (Tampa!)

[Storyteller 1, Storyteller 2, Ensemble]
Every day?
Every day?
Every single day!
[Maizy, Ensemble, Both]
They've got a doctor for your face
And one to freeze the fat away (Freeze the fat away)
And one to help you with addictions (Help you, addictions)
For afflictions such as porn
And one for corn!
And one for corn!
And one for corn!
In Tampa
Between the botox and the tannin' beds (Oh)
In plasma (Oh)
Now, there's a reason for another stanza! (Another stanza)
And I really should've brought a camera
Some guy offered me some thing called mara-wahna
Seems that they've got everything
Ocean breeze is why we sing
Seems that we've got everything
They've got everything
In Tampa!

Top▲

Bad

(Original Broadway Cast)

[GORDY & (SOPRANOS & ALTOS)]
Dad was a Clyde, ma was a Bonnie
My brother a con, my sister a connie
And then they had me, a fly in the ointment
In a long line of hustlers, a big disappointment
I got the charm (You do) and I got the looks (Sure do)
Got my DNA from the world's finest crooks (Finest crooks)
A professional poser
A counterfeit cad (A counterfeit cad)
Why can't I be better (Better than who?)
At just bein' bad?

[SOPRANOS & ALTOS]
You can do better, can do better, can do better
If only you could be better at just bein' bad

[GORDY & (SOPRANOS & ALTOS)]
A disgrace to my fam'ly (Yep!)
Mocked by the mob (Uh-huh!)
'Cause I robbed a bank that had already been robbed (No way!)
My pyramid schemes (All of his schemes) all turn into squares (turn into squares)
When I need a strike
I'm always a spare ('Cause you're always a spare)
Oh, but I could be king (A king)
If I could just find the pawn (Checkmate)
Oh, I'd be a pro
At bein' a con (You'd be the greatest conman)
The tables I'd run
The numbers I'd pad (The numbers you'd pad)
If I could be better (Better than who?)
At just bein' bad! (Bein' bad!)

I could dig my way out of this ditch
If I had (If you had) just one more wagon to hitch
Be a plaid-wearing, really rich son of a bitch like my dad (Oh, dad)
I gotta get better (You gotta get better)
Or I'll end up deader (A million times deader)
Unless I get better (Better than before)
At just bein' bad!

[SOPRANOS & ALTOS]
You can do better, just do better
Just be better at bad!

Top▲

Woman of the World

(Original Broadway Cast)

[Mazie]
Tampa
I've gone from polaroid to panorama
What will I tell Lulu or my grandpa?
'Cause a kiss just flipped the script right here in Tampa
In Tampa
How can I go back home when everything has changed?
Guess the only way to go back home's the same way that you came

Well, they said I couldn't do it
Oh, but someone had to do it
We didn't have a chance but now we do
The future's lookin' clearer
And there's someone in the mirror
Who's lookin' like a hero
Well, guess who
That someone looks an awful lot lik? me
Who'd have guess?d who I'd turn out to be?

I'm not that small town naive little girl
I've always known, that girl has grown
I used to be in overalls and curls
But that little girl is a woman of the world

They thought they knew everything about me
That I couldn't do it on my own
But that corn wouldn't stand a chance without me
They'll never doubt me once I get back home

'Cause I'm not that small town naive little girl
I've always been, so don't fence me in
I've given that big city life a whirl
And this little girl is a woman of the world

Oh, I'm a woman, I'm a woman of the world
I went across the country but I'm not just some country girl
I've seen the skyline and an ocean full of pearl
So never underestimate a woman of the world

[Mazie & Ensemble]
Oh, I'm a woman, I'm a woman of the world (Our Mazie's comin' home, our Mazie's comin' home)
I went across the country but I'm not just some country girl (Our Mazie's comin')
I've seen the skyline (Oh) and an ocean full of pearl (Ocean full of pearl)
So never underestimate

[All]
A woman of the world

[Ensemble]
Our Mazie's comin' home
Wait, where did she go?
Wow, our Mazie's grown!

[Mazie & Ensemble]
No, I'm not that small town naive little girl (Oh, oh, oh)
You've always known (Always known)
That girl has grown (Oh)
You still see me in overalls and curls (Oh, oh, oh)
But that little girl (Oh, oh, oh)
Is a woman of the world
Yeah, this little girl (Little girl)
(Little girl)
Is a woman of the world

Top▲

Somebody Will

(Original Broadway Cast)

[VERSE 1]
I was raised on the Bible and a hammer and a nail
When I wasn't raisin' corn I was raisin' Hell
I call my daddy sir and I call my mama ma'am
If I ever talked back I got the back of her hand
If you ask me I turned out okay
My dogs are fed and my soul is saved
I'm a damn good man with my hands in the field
If she don't want me well
Somebody will
Yeah somebody will (Aw yeah)

[VERSE 2]
Well I'm pretty good lookin' if you look around here
I can skin a buck and never spill my beer
I'll pay for dinner and I'll open up the door
Manners like that don't matter no more
I'm an old fashioned guy in an old fashioned world
Up until now I had an old fashioned girl
I'm a damn good man and my crops get tilled
If she don't want me well
Somebody will
Somebody will

[BRIDGE]
Bet I'll hook another probably won't take a week
There's a lot of fish even in a little creek
When I do she's gonna want me back
And when she does she can kiss my --
After all I say I'm a pretty good catch
My hay's all bailed and my jeans are patched
I'm a damn good man with a rod and a reel
If she don't want me well
If she don't want me hell
Somebody will
(Oooh)

[OUTRO]
Yeah
(Oooh)
Ooo-ohh
Aw somebody will

Yeah yeah yeah
(Oooh)
Oh somebody will
(Oooh)

Yeah somebody will
Some some s-some-some somebody will
(Oooh)
Hey
I said somebody will
Ohh I said somebody will
Yeah somebody will

Top▲

Independently Owned

(Original Broadway Cast)

[Verse 1]
I'm independently owned and operated
The only thing around here that's incorporated
I do it all and that's fine by me
I'm a one woman whiskey dynasty

[Verse 2]
I'm independently owned and liberated
And I think sleeping alone is underrated
Don't need a man for flatteries
Got a corn cob and some batteries

[Refrain]
And I'll never say I do if I really don't
If settling means settling down, then I won't
Being a wife just ain't the life for me

[Verse 3]
I'm independ?ntly owned and complicated
And, no, I don't need a man to feel emancipat?d
The boys 'round here sure ain't much help
This corn ain't gonna shuck itself

[Refrain]
There might be someone that I ain't met yet
And no disrespect to Miss Tammy Wynette
I can't stand by my man, he'll have to stand by me, oh

[Bridge]
I'm independently owned and modulated
And every man that I meet is just intimidated
I won't change who I've always been
A W-O-M-A-N
W-O-M-A-N

[Outro]
I'm independently owned and celebrating
I'm independently owned and educating
I don't depend on anybody but me
And I live my life
Independently
So independently
Independent
Operating, modulating, celebrating
Liberated, calculated, educated
Underrated, motivated, advocated, intimidating
Independently

Top▲

Holy Shit

(Original Broadway Cast)

[PEANUT]
Well holy shit
Did you hear that, corn?
I'm not sure, but I could've sworn I heard?him?say
Somethin' kinda silly
Somethin'?kinda whack
About whackin' his willy
His really?big willy

[BEAU]
Well holy shit
He's talkin' rocks
Somethin' ain't right, gotta block that cock

[BEAU & PEANUT]
A-doodle-doo

[BEAU]
You heard it too?

[PEANUT]
I heard it too!

[BEAU & PEANUT]
Somethin' bout a threat, ain't gettin' outta' debt

[BEAU]
If I didn't know better, well, brother, I bet
He's a liar and a cheat and his story stinks
Will you tell me what you think?

[PEANUT]
Well I think...

[LULU]
Holy shit

[BEAU]
Well holy shit

[PEANUT]
Well holy shit

[BEAU]
She heard it too

[LULU]
I heard it three!
And nothin' 'round here gonna get past me
I heard whispers

[PEANUT]
I heard moans
[LULU]
And a one-woman man don't need two phones

[BEAU]
Is h? gettin' outta' jail?

[LULU]
Is he out on bail?

[PEANUT]
Is he in a cart?l?

[ALL THREE]
I dunno, but somethin' smells like Tampa

[LULU]
Somethin' fishy just south of Savannah

[PEANUT]
Is she a prop in his propaganda?

[BEAU]
Trouble's travelled all the way form Tampa

[PEANUT & LULU]
Woah, woah, woah
[ALL THREE]
Tampa!
Holy shit!

Top▲

Maybe Love

(Original Broadway Cast)

[Verse 1]
Maybe love is something new
It just shows up out of the blue
Doesn't need all that much time
As long as you can make it rhyme

[Verse 2]
Maybe he is meant to last
Maybe Beau is just my past
And the reason I left home
Was more than just to fix the corn

[Chorus]
Maybe love is like a seed
A little sun is all it needs
A little rain and so it goes
It grows and grows and grows and rose from dust
Maybe love just needs a little love

[Verse 3]
Maybe love ain't how it looks
How it reads in all those books
I was just a little girl
'Til I saw a bigger world

[Chorus]
Maybe love ain't what I thought
But maybe love is what I got
Had to leave to bring it here
What was cloudy is so clear all at once
Maybe love just needs a little love

[Outro]
Yeah, maybe love just needs a little love

Top▲

Corn (Reprise)

(Original Broadway Cast)

[GORDY]
Cob County friends, your dark days are at an end!
I know that you've been prayin' for a ear that you can bend
Well it took a little science, a little math, a little myth
But I formed a little formula
Now feast your eyes on this!

[ENSEMBLE]
Aah, aah, aah, aah
Aah, aah, aah

[GORDY, spoken]
A newly-grown, perfect ear of corn!

[ENSEMBLE]
It's really corn!

[GORDY, spoken]
Yep!

[ENSEMBLE]
It's been resurrected and reborn

[GORDY, spoken]
Hallelujah!

(singing)
In a field full of failure, it's a yellow unicorn

[ENSEMBLE]
Mazie brought a savior for our corn!

[BEAU, spoken]
What happened?

[ENSEMBLE]
Gordy fixed the corn!

[BEAU]
What?!

[ENSEMBLE]
Gordy fixed the corn!

[BEAU]
No!

[GORDY]
I've analyzed, hypothesized
And agonized and realized
The reason why your corn is dyin!
It's because of those rocks!
[ENSEMBLE]
Rocks? What about the corn?!

[GORDY]
Got a corn problem? I'm your man
Need a green thumb? I'm a whole green hand

[ENSEMBLE]
What's your plan?

[GORDY]
The corn's in trouble, so let's troubleshoot
Like any other problem, the problem's at the root
And the roots ain't rootin' cause the soil ain't soakin'
And the soil ain't soakin' cause the rocks are suckin'
All the water from the soil, all the water from the stalks
Wanna fix your corn? Gotta start with the rocks!

[ENSEMBLE]
What's he sayin'?

[GORDY]
The rocks gotta go!
Move those rocks and your corn will grow

[ENSEMBLE]
Oh, move those rocks and the corn will grow
Woah!
[STORYTELLER 1]
Well holy shit!

[STORYTELLER 2]
Holy shit!

[STORYTELLER 1]
That's a lot!

[STORYTELLER 2]
Who'da thought?

[STORYTELLERS]
All we gotta do is

[COMPANY]
Move those rocks!

[STORYTELLER 1]
And it was like

[STORYTELLER 2]
And it was like

[STORYTELLER 1]
Cornography!

[STORYTELLER 2]
Corn-lottery!

[STORYTELLER 1]
Mazie walked into a shucking victory!

[STORYTELLER 2]
Beau said...

[BEAU]
You gotta be shucking kiddin' me!

[STORYTELLER]
Lulu, Peanut, Mazie too
Did that thing they always do

[STORYTELLER 2, spoken]
What?

[STORYTELLERS, spoken]
Sing!

[MAZIE]
Everything you thought you knew about me

[LULU]
Just because you caught a bus to Tampa

[MAZIE]
Just like that, I turned it on its ear

[BEAU]
He will never fit into our world

[MAZIE]
And that corn wouldn't stand a chance without me

[LULU]
Don't do it girl

[MAZIE]
All you do is doubt me

[LULU & PEANUT]
Ever since you

[MAZIE]
Since I

[MAZIE, LULU, BEAU & PEANUT]
Came back here!

[STORYTELLER 1]
And Gordy said

[GORDY]
The corn will grow

[STORYTELLER 2]
And Mazie said

[MAZIE]
I told you so!

[STORYTELLERS]
And the whole town turned and looked at Beau

[BEAU]
You believe all this?!

[ENSEMBLE]
Well yes we do!

[PEANUT]
You really do?!

[MAZIE]
And I do too!

[ENSEMBLE, spoken]
Yessss!

[STORYTELLERS]
Beau was jealous, Beau was mad
Stubborn pride was all he had
Lulu, Peanut

[COMPANY]
The whole town too

[STORYTELLERS]
Did that thing they always do!

[COMPANY]
Sing!

[STORYTELLERS]
The place went nuts!

[MAZIE & (ENSEMBLE)]
Oh I'm a woman now! (Corn!)

[STORYTELLER 1]
Shucking nuts!

[MAZIE & (ENSEMBLE)]
A woman of the world! (We've got corn!)

[STORYTELLERS]
They lost their minds!

[BEAU & (ENSEMBLE)]
He ain't even Cob County boy! (Glory!)

[MAZIE & (ENSEMBLE)]
I'm not just some country girl (He saved our...)

[GORDY]
I've fixed the corn!

[MAZIE & (STORYTELLER 2)]
I've seen the skyline and an ocean full of pearl (It was all confused!)

[GORDY]
I've fixed the corn!

[PEANUT]
Did you hear that, corn?

[ENSEMBLE]
Say what you will

[MAZIE]
I'm a woman of the world

[ENSEMBLE]
He fixed the corn!

[GORDY]
Sure did!

[STORYTELLER 1]
Then Gordy got down on a knee in the dirt

[STORYTELLER 2]
Found a little rock just to show 'em how it worked

[STORYTELLER 1]
Beau told Mazie

[BEAU]
You are outta your mind

[STORYTELLER 2]
And she was on her own this time

[PEANUT, spoken]
Well, I think...

[STORYTELLER 1]
When Mazie told Beau

[MAZIE]
You can jump off a dock

[STORYTELLER 2]
Just about the time...

[GORDY]
I loosened up the rock!

[STORYTELLER 1]
And this is where

[LULU]
Mazie

[STORYTELLER 1]
Kinda lost the plot

[STORYTELLER 2]
But it ain't so crazy to

[COMPANY]
Think of what she thought

[MAZIE, spoken]
Why yes, Gordy Jackson, I will marry you!

[GORDY]
What?!

[LULU]
What?!

[PEANUT]
What?!

[BEAU]
What?!

[ENSEMBLE]
What what what what what?!

[COMPANY]
Holy shit!

[STORYTELLERS]
What about that shit?

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Entr-acte

(Original Broadway Cast)

[Instrumental]

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We Love Jesus

(Original Broadway Cast)

[STORYTELLER 1]
Did you take a little tinkle?

[STORYTELLER 2]
Shake off your little dinkle?

[STORYTELLER 1]
The show gets even better

[STORYTELLER 2]
If you've had a little drinkle

[STORYTELLER 1]
It's looking like a wedding

[STORYTELLER 2]
But not the one you thought

[BOTH]
The only way to get there
Is right back where we left off

[ENSEMBLE]
We go to Church on Sunday twice
And even on a Wednesday night
So our chances into the Pearly Gates are triple
That leaves us five whole days of sin
All kinds of crazy to get in
Yeah, we love Jesus
But we drink a little

[ENSEMBLE]
A little too much, a little too often
When we get started, there's no stoppin'
When someone busts out a banjo or a fiddle
He turned water into wine
We turn corn into shine
Yeah, we love Jesus
But we drink a little

We're up with the rooster, man
Got achin' backs and calloused hands
With Uncle Sam squeezin' every nickel
Yeah, even Saint Peter has his fun
After a long work week is done
Yeah, we love Jesus
But we drink a little

A little too late, a little too early
You get bored or you get thirsty
Yeah, we got just the thing to wet your whistle
He turned water into wine
We turn corn into shine
Yeah, we love Jesus
But we drink a little

Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
[STORYTELLER 1]
Like a little jig
Like a little jug
Like a little kiss

[STORYTELLERS]
And we like a little hug

[MAZIE]
Like a little bacon
And we like a little beans

[STORYTELLER 1]
Love a little butt

[MAZIE & STORYTELLER 1]
In some tight blue jeans

[STORYTELLER 1]
We love a little cow

[ENSEMBLE]
Love a little cow

[MAZIE]
And we like a little tippin'
[ENSEMBLE]
Like a little tippin'

[STORYTELLER 1]
Like a little skin

[ENSEMBLE]
Like a little skin

[MAZIE & STORYTELLER 1]
In our skinny dippin'

[COMPANY]
We like a little shot
We like a little chew
We love a little cock and a doodle-doodle-doo

[ENSEMBLE]
A little too much, a little too often
When we get started, there's no stoppin'
When someone busts out a banjo or a fiddle
He turned water into wine
We turn corn into shine
Yeah, we love Jesus

We love Jesus, Buddha
Allah, Oprah
Dolly Parton
Deepak Chopra
We love Jesus
But we drink a little
Yeah!

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OK

(Original Broadway Cast)

[BEAU]
Hey, I'll be ok
First love never works out anyway
I swear I don't care
Sometimes i might look back, but I don't stare
There ain't no use in holdin' on
She already let me go
I'll get along, I'm movin' on
I'm just movin' kinda slow

No big deal, no, for real
Don't go and make a mountain of a hill
Yeah, I'm alright, don't I look like
I'm almost so happy I could cry?
There ain't no use in holdin' on
And livin' in the past
I always knew that she'd move on
I didn't know she'd move so fast

I never thought she'd give her heart
To anyone but me
No, I never thought a world apart
Is where I'd turn out to be
And I wanted to be happy
So I pretend to be
And if she should ever ask me
I'll just make believe

Cause hey, I'm ok
Fake 'til you make it, so they say
Even if my heart says there's no way
I'll be ok

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I Do

(Original Broadway Cast)

[BEAU]
Why don't you pretend I'm him?

[LULU]
Why don't you pretend I'm her?
Forget that I'm her oldest friend

[BEAU]
Forget about the way we were

[LULU]
If it were me, I'd like to hear
You'd hold me for a hundred years

[BEAU]
If it were me, I'd like to know
You'd never ever let me go

[BOTH]
I can, I will
I'll love you until

[LULU]
The world stops turnin'

[BEAU]
The sun stops burnin'

[BOTH]
Just promise to be honest and true

[LULU]
That's how you say

[BOTH]
That's how you say "I do"

[GORDY]
Maybe I should take her hand

[STORYTELLER 1]
That sounds lik? a decent plan

[MAZIE]
Maybe w? should get real close

[STOTRYTELLER 2]
I can feel it in my toes

[GORDY]
Maybe I should kiss her and

[STORYTELLER 1]
I think I'm gonna need a fan
[MAZIE]
See if somethin' starts to grow

[STOTRYTELLER 2]
Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho

[LULU]
Say your eyes will never stray

[GORDY]
Well, sometimes it's hard to look away

[MAZIE]
I swear to him my loyalty

[BEAU]
Kinda like you did with me

[MAZIE & LULU]
I can

[STORYTELLERS]
They can

[MAZIE & LULU]
I will
[STORYTELLERS]
They will

[GORDY & BEAU]
I'll love you until

[MAZIE & BEAU]
The cows come home and

[GORDY & LULU]
The moon stops glowin'

[MAZIE & BEAU]
Be able to be faithful and true

[GORDY & LULU]
So true

[MAZIE, GORDU, BEAU & LULU]
That's how you say

[STORYTELLERS]
Hey

[MAZIE, GORDU, BEAU & LULU]
That's how you say "I do"

[GORDY]
In sickness and in wealth

[LULU]
I think you mean health

[GORDY]
Forsaking all others

[LULU]
Including yourself

[MAZIE & BEAU]
For better or worse
'Til we're in a hearse

[MAZIE]
He'll be my last love

[BEAU]
Well, he can't be your first

[MAZIE & BEAU]
I can

[GORDY & LULU]
I can

[MAZIE & BEAU]
I will

[GORDY & LULU]
I will

[MAZIE, GORDU, BEAU & LULU]
I'll love you until

[MAZIE & BEAU]
The trees stop breechin'

[GORDY & LULU]
The preacher stops preachin'

[MAZIE & BEAU]
Forever is forever, it's true

[MAZIE, GORDU, BEAU & LULU]
That's how you say

[GORDY & LULU]
Hey

[MAZIE, GORDU, BEAU & LULU]
That's how you say "I do"

[BEAU]
How can she say...

[MAZIE]
How can I say...

[GORDY]
Just let her say...

[LULU]
If I ever say...

[MAZIE]
I do

[GORDY]
I do

[LULU]
I do

[BEAU]
I do

[MAZIE, GORDU, BEAU & LULU]
I do

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Friends

(Original Broadway Cast)

[LULU]
It's hard to say I'm sorry

[MAZIE]
It's hard to say I'm wrong

[LULU]
When it's been so easy
For us to get along

[MAZIE]
For all my best intentions
I'm the one who's built a wall

[LULU]
Well, if we're bein' honest
I've been known to know it all
The truth is I just love you
And with everything we've lost

[MAZIE]
I couldn't stand to lose you
'Cause each other's all we've got
So let's not waste a moment

[LULU]
Stayin' mad and keepin' score

[MAZIE]
So could you just forgive me?

[LULU]
If you forgive me more
Sometimes I call you crazy
Sometimes I call you out
Sometimes I call you up at two A.M
I call you when you're happy
Or wh?n you're missin' your daddy

[MAZIE]
I have to call you fam'ly
But I get to call you fri?nd

[BOTH]
My best friend
I'll be yours until the end

[LULU]
Blood is thick and whiskey's thin

[BOTH]
When we're together
Friend, my old friend
Ins and outs and outs and ins
[MAZIE]
We've been fam'ly all our lives

[BOTH]
But we'll be friends
Friends forever

[LULU, spoken]
Folks like to say things happen for a reason
I like to say that people happen for a reason

[MAZIE, spoken]
Lulu, I don't ever want you to be disappointed with me

[LULU, spoken]
Honey, fam'ly is tellin' someone to go to hell
And then worryin' that they get there safely

[MAZIE]
We've all got our secrets

[LULU]
We wish nobody knew

[MAZIE]
I'm so glad that I'm the one
You've always told 'em to
[LULU]
I'd give you my happy
If it made you happy more

[MAZIE]
You know I'd never take it
What's mine is always yours

[BOTH]
I'll always call you sister

[MAZIE]
Sister from another mister

[LULU]
'Cause you've always got an ear that you can lend

[BOTH]
You're my most prized possession

[MAZIE]
Since mama went to Heaven

[LULU]
I have to call you fam'ly
But I get to call you friend

[BOTH]
My best friend
Take your heart around the bend
Always just remember when
When we're together
Friend, my old friend
Ins and outs and outs and ins
We've been fam'ly all our lives
But we'll be friends
Friends forever

We've been fam'ly all our lives
But we'll be friends
Friends forever

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Best Man Wins

(Original Broadway Cast)

[PEANUT]
He ain't from where we come from
We may talk slow, but we ain't dumb
He thinks we're all just country hicks
You double-dare these derelicts
Yee-haw!

[TENORS & BASSES]
Even a wolf in sheep's disguise
Won't pull the wool over our eyes
He's a dry martini sipper
But we hold our women like we hold our liquor
He may have fixed the corn
But he ain't foolin' us
It's time to pay the fiddler, hey
Enough is enough

Yee-haw, hee-haw
There's two roosters
Just one hen
Yee-haw, hee-haw

[PEANUT]
It's a fight to the finish, may the best man win

[TENORS & BASSES]
Yee-haw, hee-haw
There's two pigs
Just one pen
Yee-haw, hee-haw
It's a fight to the finish, may the best man win

[BEAU, spoken]
Yeah, but y'all seen 'im

(singing)
He's got style and he's got slick

[PEANUT]
But you've got heart and you've got grit

[BEAU]
Well, he's got secrets, mystery

[PEANUT]
But you've got all this history
You ain't gonna let 'er go
No, not without a fight

[TENORS & BASSES]
You gotta fight!

[PEANUT]
It's time to let the moon shine

[TENORS & BASSES]
Shed a little light
Yee-haw, hee-haw
[PEANUT]
There's two lions

[BEAU]
Just one den

[TENORS & BASSES]
Yee-haw, hee-haw
There's two roosters

[BEAU]
Just one hen

[TENORS & BASSES]
Yee-haw, hee-haw

[PEANUT]
There's two bottles

[BEAU]
Just one spin

[TENORS & BASSES]
Yee-haw, hee-haw
It's a fight to the finish, may the best man win
Instrumental break

Milk that cow!
Milk that cow!
Milk that cow!
Milk that cow! Pork that pig!
Goose the goose! Pony pony!
Aah!

Ain't gonna let 'er go, ain't gonna let 'er go
Ain't gonna let 'er go without a fight
Ain't gonna let 'im take, ain't gonna let 'im take
Ain't gonna let 'im take the girl tonight
Ain't gonna let 'im break, ain't gonna let 'im break
Ain't gonna let 'im break the ties that bind
It's time to let the moon, it's time to let the moon shine!

Yee-haw, hee-haw
There's two triggers

[BEAU]
Just one gun

[TENORS & BASSES]
Yee-haw, hee-haw
There's two hot dogs

[BEAU]
Just one bun

[TENORS & BASSES]
Yee-haw, hee-haw
There's two whiskeys

[BEAU]
Just one glass

[TENORS & BASSES]
Yee-haw, hee-haw
There's two horses

[BEAU]
And just one ass!

[COMPANY]
Hee-haw, oh
Hee-haw
It's a fight to the finish, may the best man win

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Corn Mix

(Original Broadway Cast)

[STORYTELLER 1, spoken]
Now, this is where our little fable takes an exciting turn

[STORYTELLER 2, spoken]
We'll speed you through the highlights
We begin around eight PM
Go!

[BEAU, spoken]
A toast to the groom on the eve of his weddin' from his best man

[ENSEMBLE, spoken]
A toast!

[GORDY, spoken]
I'd like that!

[BEAU, spoken]
Maybe we should start you off with a child's portion

[GORDY, spoken]
My friend, where I come from, we have spirits
Named specifically for the tough urbanite
Who navigates a daily concrete battleground
Perhaps you've heard of something called a cosmopolitan

[BEAU, spoken]
Ooh, well then, we have underestimated you once again!

[GORDY, spoken]
Wow, that is so strong it could raise five kids on a teacher's salary
What's in this?

[BEAU, spoken]
Well...

[TENORS & BASSES]
Corn
We're talkin' corn
Just as sure as the day that you were born
In the east--

[STORYTELLER 1, spoken]
Stop! Then, eight o' five, go!

[GORDY, spoken]
I think this might be my last one for the night, fellas

[STORYTELLER 2, spoken]
Stop! Around eight o' eight, go!

[TENORS & BASSES, spoken]
Gordy! Gordy! Gordy! Gordy! Gor--
[STORYTELLER 1, spoken]
Stop! Around eight-fifteen, go!

[BEAU, spoken]
Tell us about where you're from

[GORDY]
Tampa
If you can't afford Orlando or Atlanta
Medicare, Metamucil and Mylanta
Will always feel like home to me in Tam--

[STORYTELLER 1, spoken]
Stop! By eight thirty, go!

[GORDY, TENORS & BASSES]
Woah, woah

[BEAU, spoken]
Yeah Gordy! Hey, this is my song, I love it!

(singing) Somebody will!

[GORDY, TENORS & BASSES]
Woah
[STORYTELLER 2, spoken]
Stop! Eight thirty-two, go!

[BEAU, spoken]
Really big!

[STORYTELLER 1, spoken]
Stop! Mm-mmm, mm-mmm. Eight-forty, go!

[GORDY, spoken]
My fam'ly doesn't believe in me
Growin' up, my parents moved around a lot
Sure, I always found 'em, but it was hard
I never had any friends, not what I call real friends

[BEAU, spoken]
Well, you do now

[GORDY, spoken]
I do now?

[BEAU, spoken]
Yeah!

[BEAU, GORDY, TENORS & BASSES]
Friends, my old friends
*Unintelligible drunk singing*
Something... together!

[STORYTELLER 1, spoken]
Stop! Then, around eight forty-five, Mazie, Lulu and her liquor all landed, go!

[MAZIE, LULU, SOPRANOS & ALTOS]
Here come the women and the woman of the world

[STORYTELLER 2, spoken]
Stop! And suddenly, the plot, like the whiskey, thickened, go!

[GORDY]
Hey, I'm not okay

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Maybe Love (Reprise)

(Original Broadway Cast)

[MAIZY]
Maybe love, it starts out young
It makes you mad, it makes you dumb
Might let pride get in the way
Then maybe love can save the day

[BEAU]
Maybe love

[LULU]
Maybe love

[BEAU]
Is like a farm

[LULU]
Is like a town

[BEAU]
It keeps you fed

[LULU]
It keeps you safe

[BEAU]
It keeps you sound

[LULU]
It keeps you sound

[ALL THREE]
Might get frozen in the frost
But maybe love is never lost

[COMPANY]
Maybe love is like a seed

[MAIZY & BEAU]
A little sun is all it needs

[LULU & GORDY]
A little rain, a little snow

[MAIZY & BEAU]
And it grows and grows and grows in rows from dust
Maybe

[COMPANY]
Love just needs

[MAIZY & (ENSEMBLE)]
A little faith (Ooh)
A little trust (Ooh)
Maybe love just needs
[ALL]
A little love

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Friends (Acoustic Worktape)

(Original Broadway Cast)

[BRANDY CLARK]
It's hard to say I'm sorry
It's hard to say I'm wrong
It's always been so easy for us to get along
For all my best intentions, I'm the one who's built a wall
If we're being honest, I've been known to know it all

[SHANE McANALLY, BRANDY CLARK]
The truth is I just love you
And with everything we've lost
I couldn't stand to lose you
'Cuz each other's all we've got

So let's not waste a minute
[?] ain't keeping score
Could you just forgive me?
If you forgive me more

[BOTH]
Sometimes, I call you crazy
Sometimes, I call you out
Sometimes, I call you up at 2 AM
I call you when you're happy
Or when you're missing your daddy
I have to call you family, but I get to call you friend

My best friend, I'll be yours until the end
Blood is thick and whiskey's thin
When we're together
Friend, my old friend
Ins and outs, and outs and ins
We've been family all our lives, but we'll be friends
Friends forever

[BRANDY CLARK]
We've all got our secrets
'Wish nobody knew
I'm so glad that I'm the one
You've always told them too

[SHANE McANALLY, BRANDY CLARK]
And I'd give you my happy
If it made you happy more
Though I'd never take it
What's mine is always yours

[BOTH]
Sometimes, I call you crazy
Sometimes, I call you out
Sometimes, I call you up at 2 AM
I call you when you're happy
Or when you're missing your daddy
I have to call you family
But I get to call you friend
My best friend, I'll be yours until the end
Blood is thick and whiskey's thin
When we're together

Friend, my old friend
Ins and outs, and outs and ins
We've been family all our lives, but we'll be friends
Friends forever

We've been family all our lives, but we'll be friends
Friends forever

Top▲

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