Alan Rickman, Timothy Spall - Ladies in Their Sensitivities Lyrics

Judge (spoken):
I have news for you, my friend
In order to shield her from the evils of this world,
I have decided to marry my dear Johanna.

Beadle (spoken):
Ah, sir happy news indeed.

Judge (spoken):
Strange though, when I offered myself to her, she showed a certain reluctance.

Beadle (sung):
Excuse me my lord
May I request my lord,
Permission my lord to speak?

Forgive me if I suggest my lord
You're looking less than your best my lord,
There's powder upon your vest my lord,
And stubble upon your cheek.

And ladies my lord
Are weak

Judge (spoken):
Stubble you say?
Perhaps I am a little over-hasty in the mornings,

Beadle (sung):
Fret not though my lord,
I know a place my lord,
A barber my lord of skill.
Thus armed with a shaven face my lord,
Some eau de cologne to grace my lord,
And musk to enhance the chase my lord,
You'll dazzle the girl until.

Judge (spoken):
Until?

Beadle (sung):
She bows to your every will

Judge (spoken):
Barber? Take me to him.

[Thanks to keirarebecca2002 for correcting these lyrics]