The Backson Song Lyrics by Craig Ferguson & Winnie the Pooh Cast

Owl: It's a Giant creature with a tail
Here I'll draw Piglet in for scale.
Its hide is like a shaggy rug
Its face - a surly, ugly mug
With two sharp horns atop its head
Between a mop of hair that's red
And in its nose, a ring of gold
It smells of monkey's feet and mold
Its toes are black
Its fur is blue
I swear that all I tell you is not made up
The Backson!
All: The Backson!
Owl: The Backson!
All: The Backson
Oh no!
Pooh: But Owl, what does a Backson do?
All: Yes Owl, what does a Backson do?
Owl: Hmm, what does a Backson do?
I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, and now I will tell you!
They sneak into your library and scribble in all your books
All: The Backson, The Backson! We don't like the Backson!
Owl: When decorating your Christmas tree, they tangle up all the hooks!
All: The Backson! The Backson! We're afraid of the Backson.
Owl: They spoil the milk, they stop all the clocks, they use their horns to put holes in your socks.
All: The Backson's the one who's been putting holes in our socks!
Roo: Tell us more about what Backsons do
Tigger: Yes more about what Backsons do
Owl: More about what Backsons do? Why don't we hear some thoughts from you?
Tigger: Maybe they make you sleep too late
Owl: Yes, yes that's good, that's great
Eeyore: I bet they're the reason my tail is gone
Owl: You're on a roll, go on, go on!
Rabbit: They muddy up your tidy house
Piglet: They make you feel as small as a mouse
Roo: They break your crayons
Rabbit: They spill your tea!
Kanga: They wake up babies at one and three
Eeyore: They made me catch the cold I caught
Winnie the Pooh: They made me lose my train of thought
Tigger: They swipe your stripes
Piglet: They clog your pipes
Rabbit: They dig up your garden
Eeyore: They won't beg your pardon
Winnie the Pooh: They eat your snacks
Piglet: They won't relax!
Rabbit: They chip your tooth
Kanga: They steal your youth!
Owl: And now you know the horrible truth
All: The Backson, The Backson, The Backson, The Backson. Oh Noooooo!
Rabbit: Oh yes
I know exactly what to do.
We'll find things Backsons are partial to
Winnie the Pooh: Like books
Kanga: And dishes
Piglet: And socks
Roo: And toys
Rabbit: Yes everything that a Backson destroys
Then we'll dig an enormous pit and make the items lead to it
He'll fall in and we'll get our friend
Owl: And this horrible nightmare can come to an end
The Backson!
All: The Backson!
Owl: The Backson!
All: The Backson!
Owl: Go home and search your closets, bring everything that you can
All: The Backson! The Backson! We're gonna catch the Backson!
Owl: We'll save Christopher Robin by following Rabbit's plan
All: The Backson! The Backson! We'll save Christopher Robin!
We must be brave and have no fear
Owl: So to the death, we'll persevere!
All: We'll search by the sun and the light of the moon and if everything goes well...
We'll be back soon!
Owl: Back soon?
All: Back soon!
Owl: Sounds like Backson
All: Back soon!
Owl: Oh well, good luck everyone!