[ Featuring Oudskul ]
I'm throwing a towel in
I'm putting hope back where I found him
I'm neglecting all plans
I'm washing hands and won't dirty them again
Fam, I invested so much energy
Tryina fix other peoples' lives and it damaged me
I'd be lying if I said I really solved them
But it weren't right to be treated like the problem
Some people want a punching bag
And not a shoulder to cry on when they want to vent
Stretched heart beyond elasticity
Now I'm gone and I doubt I'll be visiting
Heal, that's my last wish for you
Kinship won't spoil
Just establishing boundaries
Won't be back till I've found my peace
Ndithath' uhambo
Ndikheth' mna
Ndenza eyami ntando
Ndonyuka ummango
Ndakha owam umgaqo
Ngegxathu, gxathu,
Ingxathu, kwis'cathulo
That I'd set aside tryina fit yours
To empathise wore a bigger size
The need to please was a big flaw
I was too responsible
Too cool during fights when your words were cruel
A fool
I forgave you said I love you too
Trust showed I'm gullible
And that made you comfortable
We're through
I'm not looking for no get back
Nor will I throw all the punches that I held back
You're right, celebrate your victory
Let's separate convincingly and don't you ever speak to me again
I'll return the favour
You're selfish, I learned your behaviour
I won't emulate it
Despite the hurt I don't harbour any hatred
At this part I was gonna swear at you
But I'm more mad at self for what happened
I guess
It's best
That I'm stepping
Ndithath' uhambo
Ndikheth' mna
Ndenza eyami ntando
Ndonyuka ummango
Ndakha owam umgaqo
Ngegxathu, gxathu,
Ingxathu, kwis'cathulo
That I'd set aside tryina fit yours
To empathise wore a bigger size
The need to please was a big flaw
I am not forever
Nor have I
Ever
Overstated time left to be here
Fear, is not what I feel at the brink of it
It's always been acceptance when I think of it
Be it my hand or some kind o' thief
I will greet the end with a sigh o' relief
Grief is unneeded when I'm gone
Living was a job and breathing was a chore
There is no inner war
I'm bored than melancholy
If ever coming up
With theories of how he clocked out
DON'T write me off as depressed
Just wanted out of this mess
NOW
Is it fine with you if I remove self from place this and be out of view
DON'T carry the blame
Really, I'm okay
I'm not bleeding out
My sweat looks strange,
Lived in a box
I doubt I'll notice the change,
It's no urgency
You can spare me the attention
It's more a courtesy
Not asking your permission
