Synapse540 - True Love Lyrics

I ruined my reputation
I feel like my actions deserve the opposite of a standing ovation
Its always been 1 stop and leave like a gas station
Ive always needed to apologize, but I'm caught up in my own admiration
My own agitation
Im trying to right my wrongs, but my minds racing
If i make it in this game, all the girls I've been chasing
Will they chase me? That might be deadly
It seems like something people i know dream for
But my dreams are higher than the dirt floor
Much larger than an account thats offshore
Right now it feels like I'm an eyesore
Like I'll never be someone people strive for

I'm sorry that I threw away your honesty
I'm sorry if I left you high like an apostrophe
Obsession is a tricky thing
And if you're wondering what was going on in my brain at the time
I couldn't tell you myself
Should've checked my mental health
Should've went and found help
Instead, I was pleasing someone else
There were way better ways I could've dealt

I know this, but my actions are always bogus
I hate myself for what I do, but I don't seem to notice
I brush it off like what I did wasn't f*cked up
I brush it off like what I did didn't f*ck you up
Before 18 i was numb to everything
I didn't think twice before acting on anything
This is to every woman Ive ever cheated on
To every girl thats ever slept upon me in a bed
I kept everything I went through under the surface
None of you deserved it, all of you were worth it
I was insecure so with you, I submerged it
I didn't rehearse it, I just went with the flow
If anyone came at me, I'd never say no
Id never stop and think about, "oh maybe Erin wouldn't like that
Or Lauren really liked me
Or Victoria has gone through this a couple times already
Why do it again?
Throughout the years I've been blaming someone else
But in this song, know I'm blaming myself
I know it took too long, but better late than never
I know what I did was wrong, but your jokes aren't clever