Somebody get that kid a light!
School's out it's time to relax at night
Don't worry pumpkin it's all good for your lungs
Just enjoy your smoke and let Frankie sing his songs!
Oh cancer shmancer!
That's what I say
What good is a school desk
Without a built-in ashtray?
So boys and girls if you ever find yourselves feeling blue
Just pull out your packs and I'll puff along with you!
Won't someone give that boy a whiskey?!
There's nothing wrong with kids bein' tipsy
If it works for Humphrey Bogart
Then it's good enough for you and me
Oh cancer shmancer!
That's what I say
Because the jury's out
If you need a liver anyway
So boys and girls if you're ever feeling blue
Just sit at the bar and I'll prop it up with you!
Oh now the Commies have the bomb
And they wanna vaporise your mom
So get studying kid and bike to any toy store
That sells science kits with bits of uranium ore
Yes cancer shmancer!
That's what I say
Because there's nothing wrong
Mixing toddlers with X-rays
So boys and girls if you want the West to win
Get your Geiger counters out and start measurin'!