Thotcrime - Existent Lyrics

Sometimes it's hard to remember I'm breathing
That I'm still physically around
And I need some validation to keep
My head and feet out of the clouds
It's like I only just existed
For the first time in a while
Memory?
Never met her
Am I in the sky or six feet underground?
Hello to myself in the vision
I see in unpaved roads
Can I switch from sad to happy?
Man, I'm still uprooted from all these
Moods and modes
Modes and moods?
I've had it with my attitude
Can I just accept for a second
That some things happen
Maybe I'm just being rude
But I can't see a way to break
The walls of this damn prison down
They think that I don't know
But man, I know
And I'm done playing the clown

Cause you don't know what it's like
To be the center of a joke
When no one's talking
No one's laughing
But I'm pretty sure I'm
Embarrassing
To them
And you
All the people that think
I just play the fool, but it's cool,
Cause I'm ten times more existent than you

I want to break and run away
Escape beyond my confines
I'm held in place by fate alone
Lost within this world

I need to remind myself
That I'm not just a pain in the neck
For all my friends and all my family
I just need some self respect
Or I need a society that cares
About the people who don't know
If their mind fractures can ever be repaired
When I was 12 I remember feeling wrong
Like my mind and my body
Were different planes of being
Something's off
It's like I'm from another time
Or I'm from another world
How do you tell your mum
That her little boy's her little girl?

I want to break and run away
Escape beyond my confines
I'm held in place by fate alone
Lost within this world

Gotta clamp down hard
Stop the blood flow
Everybody looking out for me
In slow-mo
Get my words in first
Scared of FOMO
What you gotta hunt down the
Meaning in the song for?
Roll tight take it down
Like a uniform
Lurking at the bottom of the sea
Find my true form
Nothing stops the Thots from rising to the top
Of the pops, and the core, and the drop
When it breaks down"